Click here for the index of all 15 weeks of “Come With Me,” the Orgasm Challenge. Read on to learn how to orgasm simultaneously.
🏳️🌈 The information in this article supports expression across the gender spectrum. There are only two sexes, biologically. XX and XY. Read the section that supports your physical equipment: penis or vulva.
Buttgasms, Analgasms, Perinealgasms: It’s All About Her Ass
Many women are shy about the idea of having pleasure from anything besides their vagina and clitoris. Most women are embarrassed about their bodies. They don’t like their breasts. They don’t look at their vulva. They think their bodies are ugly. Which is all such a shame, literally and figuratively. And it’s our estrogen dominance that causes us to worry about how we look. One of estrogen’s jobs is to find the flaws or problems to keep our bodies safe. Once you know that estrogen is in a way controlling your mind to keep you safe, you can override it and move through judgmental attitudes to open yourself to more pleasure. Finally, when you add in religious repression, societal shame and lack of sexual pleasure education, you realize the uphill battle women have with allowing themselves to explore their backdoor.
Thank you for being here with an open mind about having more pleasure. For many women, anal sex is a delectable, orgasmic treat. For some, it’s a “once in a while” thing. While for most, it’s something they’ve never broached. And though I generally denigrate pornography as being degrading to women, I will give adult video a begrudging credit for making anal more mainstream.
Anal intercourse is only one way to enjoy the pleasures of your back door. You never even have to go as far as rectal penetration to enjoy your derriere. You can have all the other pleasures of the buttocks without ever being penetrated or use these other pleasures to lead up to an even more satisfying anal experience.
There are many erogenous zones of the ass. The buttocks are extremely sensitive and responsive. The perineal area is full of nerve endings. The anus itself is also rich with sensation. And the feeling of being penetrated up the ass is a filling and satisfying type of orgasmic pleasure.
Fingers and manual massage are the gold standard for pleasuring your behind. Fingers have the most sensitivity and can stimulate the tissue in ways that toys and tools cannot. Buttocks like massage and they are particularly fond of impact play. Spanking gets the blood flowing to the tissue but there are some tricks to spanking that you may want to follow below in the section called, How To Give An Orgasmic Spanking.
The anus is very sensitive and loves to be teased and pleasured with fingers on the outside, even when a woman doesn’t want fingers in her rectum. Some women are open to one finger up their butt while being penetrated. Doggie style is a good sex position for this.
When you are touching the anus or going inside the rectum, I highly recommend using a tight-fitting nitrile glove and some organic nut oil such as sweet almond to penetrate. Go slowly and wait for her anus to relax from the fingering so that it almost pulls your finger inside. When finished, turn the glove inside out and throw it away. Never touch her elsewhere after touching her anus and rectum as it can spread e coli and other harmful bacteria. You must remain vigilant about your cleanliness or she won’t trust you and she won’t be able to relax. And since relaxation is the foundation for arousal, your entire lovemaking session could be ruined with one touch of her vagina by a finger that was in her ass.
There are three erectile systems in the vulva: clitoral, urethral and perineal. The perineal sponge can be accessed through the floor of the vagina or the roof of the rectum. The perineal sponge is located just inside the anal opening. It loves to be pulsed and pressed the way the G-Spot likes to be touched on the roof of the vagina.
Rimming (licking the anus) and “eating ass” or tonguing inside the ass can also spread parasites in addition to bacteria. As a highly-informed sexpert, I do not recommend eating ass without a dental dam or saran wrap over the anus.
There are many great sex toys for anal pleasure. One of my favorites is a butt plug by Fun Factory called the B Ball and B Ball Duo. It has weighted inner balls that move as you move, intensifying the pleasure you get from feeling filled up. If you’re up for some ass play, start with this small or the double plug. This will get you prepared for actual anal penetration by a penis or dildo. On that same page as the B Balls, you’ll see the Joque Harness and Amor dildo. These are a fantastic combination for anal pegging as the harness is secure and the dildo is short. Make sure any toys you use in the rectum have a wide, flanged base so they don’t get sucked up inside you.
The Best Sex Position for Anal Pleasuring
The best anal sex position I recommend is called, Easy Backdoor. Here is an article and video on exactly how to do it to maximize your mutual pleasure.
How To Give An Orgasmic Spanking
Spanking does not need to hurt. As a matter of fact, think of spanking as a way to awaken the tissue of the buttocks to generate blood flow to the genital system as much as a way to increase overall pleasurable sensations. Here is an article with step-by-step directions about how to give an erotic spanking. The hand is the best tool for learning how to spank. Once you and your lover have a good hand game, you can add paddles and floggers to the mix for some kinky fun. Moreover, spanking, flogging, pegging and plugging are as orgasmic for our male bodied partners as they are for us. So read on to know how to give as well as receive the pleasures of the ass.
Buttgasms, Analgasms, Perinealgasms and “His $1 Million Dollar Point.”
What I’ve written above for Buttgasms, Analgasms and Perinealgasms works on both the male and female body the same. Where we diverge is in the area of the prostate. Go back and read the article on finding the P-Spot for Prostate orgasms, as this $1 Million Dollar Point information builds on that.
The $1 Million Dollar Point Orgasm
The $1 Million Dollar Point is a place you press on the male perineum to staunch ejaculation if you’re trying not to ejaculate too fast or you’re practicing semen retention. Mantak Chia, Taoist Master of ancient sexual practices and author of the Multi-Orgasmic Man goes into more detail in this YouTube video about how to press on this point in the perineum to prevent ejaculation or to have what is called a Retrograde Ejaculation. The video is more focused on prostate health using breath and muscle control to stimulate the prostate so it is free flowing.
Men often have prostate issues which create semen and urinary problems. These are mostly a result of lifestyle and very common among men. We stock a supplement called SPUNK for urinary issues and BPH issues. We also stock PreLong for premature ejaculation. Both are urologist-formulated and our guys are having good success with both.
Basically, if you want to slow down or avoid ejaculating for any reason, you press this spot on the perineum and with practice it can prevent ejaculation. If you’re past the point of no return, it may turn into a retrograde ejaculation, which pushes the semen into the bladder instead of out the urethra. Most guys want to ejaculate, so they think semen retention is weird. But for the men who feel ejaculating diminishes their energy, semen retention is helpful. You have to remember that peoples’ sexual responses run along a bell curve, so what’s right for you may not be right for the next guy.
Here is where you press to access the $1 Million Dollar Point.
You want to press straight up right near the opening to the anus. You’re trying to press the back of the prostate gland. The next time you’re heading toward ejaculation, press up there and see if it changes your response.
You can also press up on the perineal area to stimulate the prostate from the outside of your body while you’re masturbating or using a prostate massage tool or vibrator. Stimulating the prostate externally and internally can increase the pleasure of the P-Spot orgasm.
The perineal area itself is very orgasmic, as is having your testicles stroked, licked or pulled. The more you incorporate areas such as the prostate, perineum, and testicles, the more you awaken these erogenous zones. Part of the Come With Me Orgasm Challenge is to activate your orgasmic potential. I’ve created 38 videos on various aspects of prostate health and pleasuring. Play around with these areas of your body and share your experiences below in the comments.
Thank you for your commitment to pleasure. I love having you in my world.
Bookmark this index link to my “20 Kinds of Orgasms” Challenge and try them all.