Lovemaking that is learning not “performing.”
“Are you the light switch — instantly turned on — or the wood fire that needs good kindling and oxygen in your partnership?”
“Big offers create distance. Small offers create intimacy.”
If you’ve been following my emails, you are aware that famous relationship author Arielle Ford asked me to collaborate on a chapter of her new book. Her book is called, “Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate.”
I co-created this “lost chapter” of Arielle’s book — the publisher deemed too risqué to include — called, “HOW TO TURN YOUR MATE INTO YOUR SEXUAL SOULMATE.”
I’ve been dripping out the book in short excerpts for you. This is the fifth excerpt and it covers two fundamental skills for crazy good sex that keeps getting better in monogamous relationships. (The other excerpts are at the bottom of this story.)
2ND CONSCIOUS AGREEMENT
Arielle: The “OK, Baby” or “Thank You,” you mentioned last is a great communication tool. It emphasizes lovemaking as a process of learning rather than performing. What is your other technique?
Susan: The second conscious agreement is to teach your partner how to run a menu of small offers for intimacy. The key is that these offers are small. A big offer is, “Hey, honey. Let’s have sex tonight.”
You just got home and you aren’t relaxed. So you’ll say, “No.” Your lover will feel rejected.
Big offers create distance.
Instead, small offers bring closeness. Everyone likes options, multiple-choice, well-thought through menu items.
He might say things such as, “Hey sweetie! It’s great to see you tonight. Can I get you a glass of wine? Do you want to sit on the couch and tell me how your day was? Maybe I can give you a foot rub or neck rub. What sounds good?”
Your response may be, “All three!” Once he starts to bring his offers down, he can escalate from there. He can make you three more offers.
“Okay, so now that you’ve had a foot rub and a glass of Chardonnay, would you like to go in the hot tub together? Maybe when we get out I can give you a sensual massage?”
Perhaps you have to make dinner first. His offer may be too big for the moment, which is a part of the learning process. He will learn to lower his offer by giving you multiple choices until you start saying ‘yes’ to him again.
His goal is to get those offers so small and irresistible that he starts getting a string of yeses from you. The small offers are a part of the bigger foreplay. They help a busy, stressed out, not-yet-turned-on lover commence the slippery slide to physical intimacy.
If you’re with a man who needs more seduction than you do, this works equally well on guys. Though men generally need much less of a warm up, every human is unique. No matter what, giving your partner lots of options and multiple choice offers is a winning strategy.
Interestingly, Running a Menu of Small offers is simply the first of the Four Keys To Seduction outlined in Dr. Patti’s sex-life-altering trilogy of audiobooks and downloadable .pdfs.
Immediately Download The Seduction Trilogy <== You Need These Lover’s Skills
Arielle: Susan, you are so right! The jump to “let’s have sex tonight” sounds so daunting.
Here at Personal Life Media we know what makes for crazy good sex. And the skills inside The Seduction Trilogy are unparalleled at training your lover.
Here’s a VERY SHORT Sexual Training Video. And after watching it, you’ll surely want to learn more. Here’s some good news for you.
Only with this link, and only for the next four days, can you get The Seduction Trilogy for $97 instead of $147, which is already our discounted price.
This is an Insider’s Club Special offer. Only the most loyal readers and subscribers like you can get this significant discount on The Seduction Trilogy as a thank you for your support and appreciation.
*To catch you up in case you missed it, here are the first four excerpts from my Sexual Soulmate book:
2 Crazy Good Sexual Skills (Sandbox Dates 1 of 5)
21 Sexual Do-IT-at-Home Couples Experiences (Sandbox Dates 2 of 5)
Ways To Improve Your Boring Sex Life (Sandbox Dates 3 of 5)
How To Be Really Good In Bed (Sandbox Dates 4 of 5)