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Help! “Husband Watching Porn Instead of Touching ME” [Mailbag]

Help! “Husband Watching Porn Instead of Touching ME” [Mailbag]

“Why does my husband watch porn?” Men are such horn dogs. However, we can’t fully blame ‘em. That’s how they’re wired. 

Women are also wired to seek something their body and mind are craving. That’s just our animal instinct. 

You see, soulmate relationships are a group effort. I’ve worked with couples for more than a decade, and here’s what I’ve noticed. 

If something’s not working right, a lot of times both parties may not be doing their roles. Sometimes, one more than the other. 

A reader of mine sent an email about how she caught her husband watching porn instead of intimate with her. 

Whether or not you’re in a similar situation, you’ll want to know how to fix (or avoid) something like this. 

Check out her email and my response below. 

Check Out The Passion Patch ⇐ Intimacy And Arousal In Less Than 30 Seconds

GET THE TOUCH YOU CRAVE

“Dear Susan, 

I don’t feel like I turn my husband on and he needs porn to get aroused. This causes my anxiety to go sky high. Knowing he’s watching porn makes me feel unwanted. I’m in a Facebook group and a lot of the women in there feel like I do. 

I have to give him attention. He’s not lovey-dovey. If we cuddle on the couch, he’s on his phone while we watch TV.

I feel like I’m always the one doing all the work to give attention or affection.  His porn watching makes me feel insecure. Do you have any advice? Love.” ㅡ Carol (name changed for privacy)

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STEALING SEXY TIME

Dear Carol,

There are two pieces to your puzzle:

The first is that you want more physical touch, affection, and attention from your husband. 

The second is that you feel he’s watching porn as a replacement for the two of you getting turned on by each other.

What I want you to know is that in his mind, his porn viewing likely has very little to do with his relationship with you. Most men compartmentalize their porn consumption from their interactions with their partners.

If you were in your husband’s body, you’d wake up horny every day and want sex. An easy way to keep your sperm fresh and topped off and receive the pressure would be to masturbate to porn. It’s efficient and provides a release that many guys need.

When you think that him watching porn is stealing sexy time from you, you have what is called, “a fixed pie mentality.” This is the opposite of an “abundance mindset.”

Instead, let him watch his porn* but ask him to up his game in your intimate relationship.

You want full body touch, affection, and more attention from him. So exactly WHAT does that look like? How do you want him to touch you? When? What kind of affection do you want that you are not getting? 

If your guy had a clear idea of what you are missing that you crave, he could do a better job providing it. He’s a man. In a man’s body. With a man’s hormones. He has almost no idea what it is that makes YOU feel good. You have to teach him, show him, tell him, demonstrate to him, ask him for specific things you want.

Over time, as he practices, please give him a lot of accolades and appreciation. 

MEN WANT TO DO A GREAT JOB

Men desire to fulfill and satisfy us. They want to do a great job. They want to be winners.

If you challenge him to step up, he will. But you have to be very appreciative of his efforts so he keeps getting better.

There are certain places on any woman that, when touched, really turn her on. Touch another woman in those same places, and it just doesn’t do it for her. 

My ebook, The Passion Patch: One Place To Touch Her To Arouse Her in 30 Seconds Flat is a great resource for your husband to find your spots, your most erogenous zones.

why does my husband watch porn

AROUSE HER IN SECONDS

You can buy it for him. It’s only $7 but I ask that you DO NOT READ IT. 

If you read it, you take away the delight of allowing him to discover your special spot. 

This is a fun couples’ experience. Allow him to take control. And reward him greatly for every touch attempt.s

I promise your intimacy will blossom with a bit of communication and asking for what you want. 

Click Here For The Passion Patch ⇐ One Of The Best Intimacy Starters Around 

One final comment on men’s porn consumption. There are men who overuse porn. They end up watching more and more hardcore porn to be able to get erect and ejaculate. They stop being interested in “real” women. I don’t think this is your issue since you said that you are sexually active together. For anyone reading this who feels that they might have a porn addiction, go to the NoFap website for porn recovery support. 

Check Out The Passion Patch ⇐ Intimacy And Arousal In Less Than 30 Seconds (Why Does My Husband Watch Porn?)

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