Expressing Your Sexuality
(Guys, I’m writing this one to teach women how to enjoy being more sexually confident in the bedroom. You can read it and do these things for her to support her sexual coming out.)
Ladies, it is life affirming to let your sexy out full blast and be as erotic and desirous as you want in the privacy of your own bedroom. But you can’t let it rip if you are afraid your partner is going to shame you in any way.
Here are the two things you can teach your man to do for you exactly how you want him to so it allows you to keep opening and expressing your animalistic sexuality.
I’ve found that most guys truly appreciate when you to explain what they can do to support your full-out sexiness.
Throughout the lead up to sex, during foreplay and while making love show your man how to give you plenty of positive feedback, affirmation that he loves your sexiness and approval for what you are doing. Many women like verbal feedback the most. Whether he’s moaning in appreciation or telling you how sexy you are and what he finds irresistible about your behavior both of these efforts go a long way toward bringing you out even more. Tell him what makes you feel appreciated and praised.
Do you like to be filmed or have pictures taken of you when you’re naked?
Do you like your guy to “place his order” for his favorite lingerie for you to wear?
Does it help you get in the mood when he texts you dirty thoughts about what he will do to you later?
Maybe you like to share “frames” during a good romp?
Perhaps presents delight you?
Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want to feel loved and respected during lovemaking. Almost every time I make love I ask my man to tell me what he loves about me. I find it both reassuring and heart-opening to hear him telling me what he loves about me and how much he loves me while he’s making love to me. They just go hand in hand!
I’ve also noticed that people generally crave MORE conversation and pillow talk in their lovemaking than they are getting. You can up your verbal appreciation considerably without getting rejected.
If you’ve been a total slut, acting like a dirty porn star with an insatiable sexual appetite, you’re going to need some hugs afterward, girl. Our genitals are directly connected to our emotional hearts. It’s great to be abandoned to your passion, but guys need to understand that we also need hugs, kisses and appreciation afterward. Take the time for yourself to rest in his arms and let him tenderly hold and kiss you. Teach him my trademark “Best Hug In The World.” He will love it as much as you do.
Other things your man can do include patting you with a towel after lovemaking. Getting you a glass of water. And sharing more “frames” about what he loved most during your date.
The bottom line? Listen deep inside yourself to your desires and needs and communicate them to your guy. He can’t guess. And he needs to know. Explain to him that every day you’re a little different. Men understand women’s cycles. He just wants to make you happy he’s your lover, know he gave you incredible pleasure and that you are looking forward to your next date with him.And finally, instead of directing him, consider offering him invitations to please you. This will keep you in your feminine and him in his masculine. And if he balks at a request you make, or says, “OK, but I’m going to do it on my own time,” (as in, “you’re not the boss of me”) you simply need to understand that training him to be your best lover ever is a process. Keep at it. Don’t give up. Sooner or later it will dawn on him that, “there’s no such thing as failure, only feedback,” and he’ll be hungry to please you and asking for your requests.
Soon after that you can train him to run you menus of small offers. This is one of the four keys to seduction that Dr. Patti teaches in The Seduction Trilogy. You can learn the 4 Keys and begin to run menus for him to model the behavior. Knowing about these small offers will ignite your sex life because all of a sudden he’s offering you up tons of ideas that turn you on.