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17-Step Super Sexy Dominate Him

One of the best things that is happening as we slide deeply into the 21st century is more freedom for self-expression. People are able to display a wider range of emotions in our culture today than ever before. Males have the freedom to show their hearts. Females can be ambitious and driven. We are collectively blurring the lines of what it means to be masculine and feminine. We are realizing we all gain from living more fully into all of our personality traits, innate talents and gifts.

One place we see a big, impactful benefit of this expansion of our self-expression is in the bedroom. As women become more sexually self-confident, we are more inclined to take charge in the bedroom. We like ravishing our men, allowing them to simply relax and receive pleasure.

How To Dominate Him ⇐ 8 Ways Sassy, Classy Women Take Charge In The Bedroom To Give Your Man The Fantasy Experience He Craves


Men are becoming more aware that what women want is their presence in the bedroom—rather than you being up in your head, strategizing about how to make us orgasm. In the old days, you were supposed to tell us what to do, give us orgasms, satisfy us. You were the leader. And while many women do love masculine sexual leadership, more and more we have ideas of our own and are looking more for a partner who can have erotic adventures with us. 

The trend is moving away from the black and white outdated mode of dominance and submission to couples being, “switchy.”  A switch is a person who is as comfortable taking the leadership role as they are surrendering to their lover.

A switchy woman may set the sexual agenda for the date. She might want to try a new sex toy together. Or she could request a new position like squatting over your face for oral pleasure. Or having you kneel in front of her to pleasure her with your mouth. She might want to be on top doing my Squatting Tiger, Bouncing Lion intercourse position. She might want to practice giving herself orgasms going down on you. She may want to blindfold or restrain you and drive you wild with pleasure.

Cassie wrote to me, 

“I have a partner who is an amazing lover, and generally we focus on me. He recently expressed that he has a fantasy to be out of control, for me to take charge, and just let me do whatever I want to him, to be “taken.” I definitely can see myself in that role, but I could use some help! What does a man want in this situation? I typically just love for the man to take control, so this is a new role for me.


This role reversal of taking turns leading your partner exponentially increases your sexual pleasure together. Why? Because being dominant flexes your sexual fantasy muscles in an empowering way for a woman. Leading gives you more sexual self-confidence.

And for a guy, being the one who gets DONE, is a fabulous break from always being the one DOING.

For a man to get really good in bed, he eventually gets his skills and techniques so wired that he is no longer in his head thinking about DOING, he is just being… interacting… That’s when he can finally surrender to his desires and be in the interplay of the moment. 

Sexual switching can be VERY HOT for you both. But instead of thinking about sexual leadership in black and white terms, where she’s doing all the “topping” and he’s the bottom in full receive mode… Go technicolor here with me for a minute. Great sex is a flow state, not a role play (unless that’s what you’re specifically doing). So she might be the leader for one part of a lovemaking date and then want to relax and let her partner take charge. Then she could come up with an idea again that puts her in control and allows her partner to surrender. Instead of being the one calling the plays the entire time, it’s perfectly fine to lob the leadership back and forth.

I’m giving you a dominant game plan with 17 starter ideas below. To fully realize your switchy potential, I’d recommend you get a copy of the “Be Her Sexual Trainer” audio book and downloadable book. It’s part of The Seduction Trilogy: A 3-part series on seduction strategies for couples that help you have a way hotter, more satisfying Sex Life — especially if one of you is sexually shy, not as horny, or less experienced.

Listening to the audiobooks WITH your partner is going to blast open your sex life to a profoundly new level of eroticism. You will learn how to escalate arousal and how to elicit each other’s deepest fantasies.

Right now, you are kind of “guessing” what your partner wants. Yes, you can outright ask them… but it’s WAY more fun and revealing to use fantasy elicitation strategies. 

Seduction Trilogy Fantasy Discovery Technique

Moving forward you are going to be able to unearth some HOT fantasies out of your lover’s brain and bring them to life. You’d be surprised what’s inside there waiting to come out. And one of the most fun things about being a couple is that your partner is going to think up fantasies you’d never imagine yourself. Some of my best experiences have come from my partner’s ideas. Trying new things is what keeps your new relationship energy going even after years of being together. 

Get the fantasy discover technique and so much more in the Seduction Trilogy. Listen and read together and practice these techniques going forward. For TONIGHT, here are some switchy things the feminine can do even that are masculine-pleasers. Give this list to your lover with your favorites noted

Cropped close-up portrait of nice cool alluring lovable attractive charming bossy flirty wavy-haired lady wearing tightening swordbelt teasing isolated over dark black background


First thing to know is that the way you like be dominated is totally different than what a guy generally likes. These are all generalizations… your mileage may vary….

17-Step Switchy Date Strategy:

  1. Touch his penis early and often.
  2. Put on something that makes you feel like a sexy badass. (Thigh high black boots, a cupless bra and black lacy thong panties come to mind.)
  3. Play some really grindy music. Contemporary hard rock, squishy dub, whatever makes your lady bits go nom nom nom…
  4. Tell him to strip for you very slowly.
  5. Make him show you his penis.
  6. Admire and appreciate his genitals. Tell him how sexy he is, how much you worship his manhood and that you are going to do all kinds of titillating things to him starting now.
  7. Then start playing with his package. Grind your butt into his lap. Give him a few lickings. Tap it on your breasts. Wipe it across your lips. Worship it!
  8. Go back and forth taking him in your mouth and kissing him. Make the kisses VERY WET.
  9. Look him in the eyes as you are orally pleasuring him.
  10. Press against him. Undulate on him. Lie him down on the bed and get on top of him. Drop your breasts in his mouth.
  11. Keep touching his penis and tickling or stroking his balls.
  12. Move to 69 where you are on top of him. Give him instructions for exactly how you want him to pleasure you.
  13. Make a LOT of moaning sounds. Tell him how much he turns you on.  Be as sexually self-expressed as you can.
  14. Eventually you are going to want to get on him, most likely cowgirl style, and slide up and down on his manhood, building him up to an orgasm and then backing off a little bit so you can keep going until your legs give out. Use my Feline Grind and Squatting Tiger Bouncing Lion techniques to drive him absolutely crazy. 
  15. The whole time, tell him how good he feels inside you.
  16. If you want to change positions, just tell him what to do. Use him for your pleasure like a boy toy.
  17. And when he comes, tell him what a good job he did pleasuring you.

That’s a nice switchy dominant-but-still-sweet way to take control. If you want the full out totally dominating him sexy date, it’s here: Dominate Him Tonight.

I’m sure you are already thinking of some things you’d like to do or that you know he’d enjoy…

And when you get to the fantasy elicitation in Be Her Sexual Trainer (works as well for women as men, no worries!) you are going to blow his mind into a million rainbow sparkles.

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