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The Banana Diagrams

aroused vulva

When people ask me, “What makes sex great? I like to start with the body. 

(Not that the mind isn’t equally important. It is!)

Learning how to pleasure the body is the foundation. Adding bedroom communication comes next.

The key to great man/woman sex is to understand that she has the same amount of erectile tissue as he does. 

Yet 95% of her erectile tissue is inside her body, whereas 50% of his erectile tissue is outside his body.

It’s easy to know when he’s aroused. And penile erections happen much more quickly than female internal erections.

Often, the couple uses the signal of his erection to begin intercourse. This usually means a couple is having intercourse too early for her to achieve a full internal erection. 

Rushing penetration means she cannot experience the pleasure she is due. This leads to her wanting less intercourse over the years, while he wants as much as he always did.

First, understand how much erectile tissue you have at your disposal.

Next, you have to know where it’s located.

Then, you discover how to stimulate it.

Pleasure is felt when the erectile tissue fills with blood. The blood expands the erectile chambers, increasing the tissue’s overall size.

Erections increase the surface area of pleasure sensations.

With increased blood flow, his penis gets more prominent. Her clitoral structure — including the erectile tissue inside her body — gets bigger with increased blood flow.

That more significant amount of tissue feels more pleasure. More pleasure gets her to orgasm more easily. (Engorgement is the trick to her having penis-in-vagina orgasms!)

A woman has as much erectile tissue throughout her entire genital structure as a man does in his penis.

Think of all her erectile tissue squeezed into a banana. The little black knob at the end of the banana is her visible erectile tissue — the external clitoris called, The Glans. The rest of a banana’s worth of tissue is right under the surface of her skin and vaginal mucosa (vagina skin).

Erectile Tissue Female


Erectile Tissue Male


50% of his erectile tissue is inside his body. I call this his “buried shaft.”

When he rushes intercourse, he doesn’t allow himself to get fully engorged. When he’s fully engorged, you can feel that his penis is hard and veiny if you palpate it inside his abdomen.

Penis Map


Slowing down and getting fully engorged increases the pleasure for both couples. (If the man has trouble maintaining his erection, I answer that in many articles on our website.)

The rest of the entire banana, the 95%, is the rest of her erectile tissue located inside her vulva and vagina. The part of her clitoris that you can see is merely the tip of the iceberg.

Her erectile tissue is in the tip or glans (purple), the shaft, and the two arms or crura (blue) of her clitoris, as well as the two legs of her clitoris or vestibular bulbs (green). 

She also has two other erectile tissue structures. One is the urethral sponge (known as the G-Spot), which is a long tube of spongy tissue found at the top of her vaginal canal (the pink one above the vagina). The other is the perineal sponge at the bottom of her vaginal canal between her vagina and rectum (dark green).

Only 5% of her erectile tissue is external. 

To give her a “hard-on,” the best way to stimulate her to erection is through your fingers, mouth, and tongue.

Colored Illustration of Clit



Genital massage and oral sex are such good foreplay techniques because they give her a hard-on.

You can give her an external massage, focusing on the mons venus and outer labia first. This brings blood to the clitoral hood and shaft, as well as the glans. You want to give her a clitoral erection. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to feel the shaft of her clitoris get stiff. She has a tiny little penis-type structure under the hood. It takes about 20 minutes of foreplay for her clitoris to POP with an erection. Then you can squeeze the shaft between your fingers and feel her little clit boner.

Clitoral Map 4


Touch with firm but light pressure on the mons, knead the tissue and use your fingertips to stroke above the clitoral hood. Avoid touching the clitoris right away. It will become overly sensitive. Warm up the rest of the buried clitoral tissue first, and then focus your attention on the glans. It will feel so much better.

Clitoral Map 5


What you’ll see is that as you get the blood flowing from massage and oral pleasuring, her vulva will go from flaccid to pillowy, and her G-Spot will start popping out from her vagina as her clitoris pops out with an erection.

Flaccid Genitals


Massaging the outer labia fills the legs of her clitoral structure with blood. These are the pads on the outside of the opening of her vagina. 

They like kneading and pressure. Each time you make love, she will want a unique touch. Just keep asking her whether she wants it lighter or harder. She will guide you.

Begin Engorgement


Next, you can stimulate the area between the inner and outer labia to get to the arms of her clitoris. They drape down from the shaft.

When she’s ready for you to enter her with your fingers, you can stroke the entire opening of her clitoris, which is a sphincter muscle. Be delicate and coax it to open.

You want to provide the pleasure that causes her vagina to draw your fingers in. Don’t push your fingers inside her. Have her body want them inside.

Spend extra time on the roof and floor of the vagina. 

Labial Engorgement


By the time a woman has had this much stimulation, her vulva will be puffy, full of blood, soft, and pillowy.

This gives her time to lubricate her vaginal canal.

Our Nitric Oxide supplement, made from organic fruit and vegetables, benefits women by helping them get fully lubricated. It also helps men get and keep strong erections. Many guys no longer need little blue pills once they top up their Nitric Oxide with FLOW.

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As we age, our blood flow diminishes. The vagina doesn’t have any glans. The lubrication comes from her blood plasma.

The more blood flow she has, the more wetness and erectile function she gains. The erection is what helps her come.

Women NO Level


Please also remember all the other erectile tissue she has: Her perineal area, buttocks, thighs, groin, belly, breasts, nipples, neck, lips, mouth, tongue, and throat all have erectile tissue.


The more intense and frequent her orgasms, the easier she’ll come, and the better her sexual experience will be.

If you have questions or anything, please comment below the article. This is where I answer every question so that everyone can benefit from it.

I hope this has helped you a lot.

I’m sending much love for extraordinary pleasure. And yes, men enjoy getting as much manual and oral stimulation to their external and buried shaft as we ladies do.

Expand Her Orgasm Tonight is our program that teaches a clitoral stimulation technique that helps women have multiple, expanded orgasms. Keep Her Coming is our beginner’s guide to female multiple orgasms. Female Liquid Orgasm is our guide to G-Spot and female ejaculation (squirting). The Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection is our 8 DVD and digital video program that shows over 200 pleasuring techniques including genital massage for him and her as well as oral techniques and sex positions.

The more pleasuring techniques you know, the better lover you are.

All information from Susan Bratton, Personal Life Media, The20, and our collective brands are personal opinions. The statements made within this email/website have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These statements and the products of this company are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Always seek consultation from your doctor.

14 Responses

  1. You have spiced up our love making hottest and long distance journey!
    Thanks so very much hot sex advisor.
    You are authentic, I love you always

  2. Thank you for all the great information & articles in both male and female body parts and how too have great love sessions !!!!

  3. Hi Thank you for this fantastic article, just would like to add my bit….i never really wanted to believe medical advice in terms of how smoking effects YOUR erection , after 38yrs smoking i can say its 100 days now kicked the habit ,i now have erections cant believe the difference and i am 58yr old .

  4. If he is well endowed and has trouble “fitting” do I need better lube or more engorgement? Can I do anything to help?

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