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Revitalizing Intimacy: Exploring Anti-Aging Tips for Vaginal Laxity Rejuvenation

anti aging tips

Men love the physical act of intercourse.

Because of testosterone, men are generally “ready to go” at anytime. And they are goal-oriented to hit that bullseye!

Women love sex as much as men. Yet because we’re estrogen, rather than testosterone dominant, we are not “ready to go.” We need to be moved toward pleasure with emotional connection and sensual, not immediate sexual touch.

If a woman has spent years with a guy who focuses on intercourse and rushes her to sex, he comes, and she doesn’t… she will want less sex until she doesn’t want it anymore.

If she has lost vaginal tone due to childbirth and atrophy, lost lubrication because of a lack of blood flow, has lowered desire from loss of her testosterone, and has potentially painful sex or sex that doesn’t feel good… she may just want to give up on sex like Phillip’s wife below.

Read my response and check out these techniques to ignite her desire and fix her issues, so she wants lots of great sex again. 

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My wife is 45 years old and has had five (5) children and four (4) epidurals during childbirth. 

She has indicated that she does not enjoy sex and does not even like sex or want sex because she does not feel anything during intercourse. All she feels is thrusting but no pleasure. As you can imagine, this is causing enormous stress in our marriage.

I have numerous questions:

  1. Have you heard of or encountered this condition before?
  2. Is it simply low libido? And what could be done to reverse this?
  3. What would be the cause, and is there any solution?
  4. Is it nerve damage, and is it permanent?
  5. Where would we go for help? What kind of doctor should be consulted? How do you define or term the condition?

I would appreciate any help, knowledge, or suggestions you could provide to point us in the right direction.


Philipp (not his real name).”


Hi Philipp,

Tallulah forwarded your note to me.

There’s a good chance your wife’s vagina is suffering from laxity. As she ages and loses estrogen, the tissue shrinks, causing atrophy. This makes her vaginal canal more open and large. Childbirth can also weaken the pelvic muscles, which means she has trouble “gripping” the penis. She’s not getting enough stimulation to warrant intercourse. 

One way to remedy this is for you both to understand how stimulation, libido, and arousal work with our bodies. Check out my new FREE video explainers.

Libido And Arousal Secrets ⇐ Sexpert Reveals Her Juicy Secrets To Increasing Sex Drive And Arousal To Feel More Desire

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I also suggest you get her a VFit Gold vaginal restoration device if she wants it.

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And also, if she’s open to it,

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for self-pleasuring. If she’s not having orgasms, she’s not going to want sex.

You can support her in getting more pleasure, which is the beginning of wanting intercourse again. I also recommend she start taking FLOW. 

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Susan On Chair

3 Responses

  1. Hi Susan, I ran into a same situation. When we had sex my partner would complain of pain when I was inside seem excruciating to her but I did not feel her and was not really enjoying her. She told her GYN but she ignored her. We found out she was drugged and raped by many men. It lasted for some time. Of course after she healed, she was into sex again and of course I started feeling her again. She’s now (after 20 years) she’s stopped sex with me. I know she’s had sex especially anally due to her bigger torn opening of about 4” circumference. I did not do that. I know they did when she was raped. But the bigger size is more recent. She swears she doesn’t have sex with anyone else. She soils her panties everyday I believe because of her opening especially when she bends over she leaks BM. She’s 58 now and I’m 61. I’m thinking of divorcing her now because I am a male and really need sex. I have never messed around. I am a nurse, lately I’ve lost weight and into weight lifting and now have attracted many women as young as 18 and up. It’s hard to resist especially when they make the move on me. I can’t resist when they come up behind me and hug me. But I stop it there. I do get many hugs and stares at my bulge . I bulge out without an erection. I’m not that big just barely 7 inches with a circumference that is usually thicker than a woman’s wrist! Also, I did get Ed but the phoenix helped me get back into sex. I don’t use the whopper much but when I do it really wakes me up and I get it up faster. I’ve done two rounds with the phoenix and I believe I could use a third but this time I will use the wopper!

  2. Susan,

    I am 68 and my wife is 60. I think she has lost interest in sex. I am lucky to even get “it” twice a month, and I always have to ask for “it”. She never initiates wanting sex. I did purchase your “Steamy Sex Ed” video collection for us but we have yet to spend time watching the collection. I have myself selected a couple of DVDs for viewing and must say, the participants in the videos are, well, “quite experienced”. “Blow Each Other Away” was quite interesting; again, the participants are “quite experienced”. The dude in the video amazed me with his stamina; IF my wife pleasured me, I would not even last 5 minutes; guess that is because I am not conditioned. Since she does not pleasure me, I do not have to worry about that. When we do get together, I am the one to always go down on her, and she never reciprocates though, I would like that. And, It is always missionary style, nothing different. And, I can never last long like the participants in your collection. If I never “asked for it”, months could go by without sex. I would like sex twice or more a week but, that is wishful thinking. It is like “pulling teeth with a crowbar” to have sex and like I said, I am always having to “ask for it”. I would say, 80-90% of the time, I get turned down. Our schedules are very different where she stays up quite late and sleeps-in in the mornings, and I have to crash-out early as I start work at 5 a.m. Intimate time is next to nil, and because our interests are different, she and I watch our t.v. shows in different rooms of the house. Thank you for your videos and articles as I do watch and read them when they “pop” into my Gmail account.

    Thank you….

    1. Hi Glenn,

      OK, here is the master plan to get your wife to want sex with you. Please do these steps in order. You are way ahead of her with the Steamy videos. You have to help her catch up.

      First, please start watching the Sensual Massage videos of your Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection. Memorize the techniques. Then offer to give your wife a no strings attached sensual massage that focuses on her lady parts.

      Use my Bullseye Touch Technique to make sure you don’t go straight for her clitoris and you spend time sensually pleasuring all around the outside areas of her vulva first.

      Give her one genital massage every week or as many in a week as she wants for 5 minutes or as long as she wants. Some days it will feel good to her. Other days she will be anxious and have trouble settling down. Offering little rubs with no strings attached and no pressure for how long she needs to receive will increase the amount of times she wants to lie down and let you pleasure her.

      If you make it such that she can receive without any pressure to return the favor, she will much more likely accept the massage.

      As soon as she thinks she will have to “do you back,” she won’t want them. You want her to want them because this is how you are going to enliven her genitals to the point where she wants sex with you.

      Ask her to give you time to practice to get good. It will feel better as you two get in the groove. Your job is to create as many opportunities for her to purely receive pleasure with no pressure as you can — and to get more articulate with your hands as you practice.

      The Steamy videos will help you memorize a catalog of strokes that you can try. Each time you massage her, different things will feel good to her. Ask her for lots of feedback. And make sure she is very comfortable.

      You’re not ready to take on the Expanded Orgasm practice yet, but you can get these pants and wear them with a cotton tee shirt while you are giving her Yoni massages. (Yoni is another word for her vulva or her genitals.) Wearing these pants will keep your hairy body from scratching her as you massage her. They are soft and absorb sweat. Sweating on or scratching her will take her out of her arousal, so it’s good to manage your manliness by wearing them. Also, make sure you not only keep your fingernails clipped very short, but also you use an emory board to file down the sharp edges. If your hands are rough from the work you do, use tight fitting (the smallest size you can get on) nitrile gloves to massage her.

      You can also make sure you are well groomed before each date. Shave, manscape, shower and brush your teeth. Upping your grooming will increase the amount of sex you get.

      I recommend the OneBlade for removing your long pubic hair from the length of your shaft (check for long hairs growing out underneath along your shaft where they hide) and a 1″ circle around the base of your penis on your abdomen. Go over the shaft and base with the CleanCut orbital trimmer after using the OneBlade. That will trim your hair down below the skin but will not give you any ingrown hairs. Then with the OneBlade trim all your pubic hair back so it’s shorter but not so short it’s bristly. This will also give you a “visual inch” of penis length which is nice to look at.

      Offer your wife unlimited massages. Make the bed up nice. Get the clean, fluffy towels out. Get the good organic nut oil lubes out and ready. Put on some sexy music.

      If you create this loverspace for her and make her consistent offers for massage while reminding her you love giving and want her to simply enjoy receiving, she will start taking you up on your Yoni massage offers. The more you give them and don’t expect sex the more she will respect you and want to have sex with you.

      After the first couple massages, offer for her to use her vibrator as you are doing the massages if she is drawn to want to have some easy orgasms. Or suggest that you leave her in a puddle of bliss with her vibrator while you go to another room so she can finish herself off.

      For this scenario, I recommend the Hot Octopuss DiGiT. It’s a small but powerful vibrator that she can wear on her hand like a ring. That way if her hands are full of lube, it won’t slide around. And it’s so low profile, she can fit it in while your hands are on her vulva too. That way she can stimulate her clitoris as you are fingering her internally and massaging her externally.

      Side Note: I just got up and asked Tim to have a massage date with me this afternoon. I got all turned on writing about what you should do. Haha!

      Your “goal” is for her to get an engorged vulva and have orgasms. It doesn’t matter how that happens… you involved or not.

      Also offer to hold her and pleasure her breasts after the sensual massage while she uses her vibrator on herself. If your mouth is fresh and clean and you are closed shaved and smell good, she might also want you to kiss her while she uses her vibrator to give herself orgasms. Incorporate breast pleasuring where you can. Get my breast massage master plan here.

      You can also let her watch her TV programs the first couple times you massage her. Soon enough you will have her rapt attention. All she has to do is lay there and receive while she watches a show. I know that might seem weird, but the easier you make it for her to say yes, the more she will allow you access to pleasure her.

      Next, get my program, Revive Her Drive. You have been doing a lot of things throughout your marriage that are accidentally driving her away from wanting you for sex. This is very, very, VERY common. It’s actually the norm. Guys treat their women they way they want to be treated and then get mad because she never initiates or wants sex enough.

      I just got an email from a guy this week who bought Revive Her Drive three years ago. I told him if he didn’t try my 4 Keys To Revival, he’d never know if he could turn her around. He ended up emailing me that he tried, it worked, and he and his wife are having the best sex of their lives.

      I have hundreds of testimonials for this program. Unless your wife NEVER liked sex, Revive Her Drive will give you the steps back to her loving sex with you again.

      The Yoni massage is only part of the plan. And if she balks at your massage offers, then you REALLY need Revive Her Drive even more.

      Get the program, start doing Step One of the 4 Keys to Revival as you go through the rest of the program. It’s mostly audios you listen to on your phone or computer that explain what you don’t understand about women and our sexual appetites. The program gives you a working model of what to do and many options for the ways to do it based on what you think will work best in your relationship dynamic.

      Guys often buy Revive Her Drive to fix their wife and realize it was all the things they were doing by accident that were actually what caused her lack of desire. This means it’s easier than you think to fix, because you are in control of your own actions.

      And, since you showed me that you are the kind of man willing to invest in your sex life because you bought Steamy Sex Ed AND you commented on this post, I know you are committed. So let’s also handle your premature ejaculation.

      Because one of these days she is going to come so hard and so long from your Yoni massages that she is going to want your manhood inside her. And when that happens, the last thing you want is to come as soon as she slides down on you with her rich, full, ripe vagina dripping with lubrication.

      Soooo…. the other foundation to shore up is your own ejaculatory choice. I want you to last as long as she wants you to. Stamina for days! Hard as a rock.

      To that end, our ME Breath technique uses a way of breathing, combined with a very specific pelvic move and squeeze that slows down your urge to ejaculate. You learn it while you masturbate. The ME Breath technique gives you unlimited stamina AND it trains your body to have multiple full-body energy orgasms without ejaculating until you want to.

      I publish this excellent program by international men’s sexual trainer Jim Benson. It’s called Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men. There are 7 short videos that show you the steps to teach your body the ME Breath. We also have a very robust Facebook group called The Sexual Mastery Inner Circle where guys who are learning the ME Breath convene to share their questions and experiences and triumphs.

      To recap.

      1) Work on your stamina by learning the ME Breath as an extension of your masturbatory practice. Then when she’s wanting you, you’ll deliver.

      2) Go through Revive Her Drive and start working the 4 Elements of Revival. You will see her perk up as soon as you start doing the steps.

      3) Begin offering her foot massages, full body massages and Yoni massages with no strings attached. This is what I call Awakening Her Sensually and then Sexually in Revive Her Drive.

      You will start to see amazing responses happen.

      Oh, and before I go, I want to give you the links to the lubes to get. I highly recommend the Hobe Avocado oil for intercourse and for inside her vaginal canal. It’s the most viscous and emollient of all. Use the Organic Sweet Almond oil for outside of her vaginal canal massage everywhere on her body including her vulva. And the BeeFriendly is a very good addition for when you are stroking her clitoris or she’s masturbating.

      Never use any lubes that have chemicals or words you don’t know. The vaginal mucosa is as delicate as her mouth (oral mucosa). If you wouldn’t eat it, don’t put it on your genitals. Toxic chemicals lower your hormone and neurotransmitter production.

      And FINALLY… (this was a long one, haha) since neither of you have been very sexually active, you both have a fair amount of genital atrophy. I recommend you get your wife a Vfit at-home vaginal restoration device. (The great news is that it increases the engorgement up inside her vagina so when you have sex it’s going to feel a LOT better to her.) And I recommend you get yourself a Whopper penis pump and do a 13-week penile rejuvenation routine. Here is the article that explains both along with a link to my FLOW Nitric Oxide supplement made with organic ingredients. The FLOW you both take to improve blood flow to your penis and her vulva. FLOW will increase your erectile rigidity and penis volume when erect. FLOW will increase her clitoral engorgement and intensity of orgasmic pleasure. Plus FLOW is super good for your vascular system, your heart and cognitive function as well as your immune system.

      OK. 1. 2. 3. There is your plan to have a renaissance of your sex life.

      Please keep me informed about how everything goes or if you get stuck. You can reply to any of my emails. I get all replies personally.

      Have fun!!!!!


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