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The Grace To Give And Receive Love

The Grace To Give And Receive Love


Practice these ideas at home. It’s time to stay IN.

If you want to increase your (or your lady’s) intimacy and desire, consider focusing your attention on the four cues that trigger a woman’s arousal. (Ladies, share what you like the most with your lover.)

In one of my favorite books, “Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life,” by Dr. Emily Nagoski, she presents research findings on a survey about factors for female sexual desire.

Researchers asked women what turned them on and found the results divided into four general categories:

1. Love and Emotional Bonding Cues
2. Explicit and Erotic Cues
3. Visual and Proximity Cues
4. Romantic and Implicit Cues


Love and Emotional Bonding Cues

Understanding how you (or your lady) feels most loved, secure and emotionally-connected and then creating those feelings for her consistently will increase her desire for lovemaking. (This is what my Relationship Magic exercise helps you put into words.)

Explicit and Erotic Cues

What turns you (or your lady) on? Does she like reading erotica? Having you tell her how sexy she is? Seeing her lover’s erect penis? There are responses to erotic cues that are unique for each woman.

Visual and Proximity Cues

What gets you turned on? A warm fireplace? A pair of the sexiest high heels in your closet? Your guy in his tight briefs? Watching his biceps flex as he takes out the trash?

Romantic and Implicit Cues

What kind of romantic experiences get you turned on? Do you love to be held? Does salsa dancing get you aroused? Perhaps a dinner you cook together? Or a verbal expression of their undying love for you?

These are the four conditions that increase couples’ desire and passion for each other.

Too often in a new relationship, the energy fades when the romantic and emotional bonding cues get taken for granted.

In Revive Her Drive, I explain to men who want to rekindle their intimate lives that they must first start with romance, then re-awaken their wives or girlfriends’ sensual awareness before moving into seduction and sexual techniques.

Men in general, have a faster desire accelerator system, so they tend to forget these all-important steps to a woman’s passion.

In my next email of this series, I’ll tell you the 8 things that cause women to “slam the brakes” on a relationship according to Dr. Emily Nagoski.

For now, pay close attention to what you or your partner needs to feel “in the mood” for hugs, kisses, and sweet intimate moments.

Every person’s desire accelerator cues are different. When you learn what makes you feel like getting more intimate, you can easily empower your lover to create that experience for you.

In my vast experience working with a wide range of men and women from around the world for over a decade, it’s great to have a checklist of things that ultimately gets them into the mood for love.

Any shortcuts to your pleasure and happiness you can give each other will help you and your partner create the feelings you both need to co-create a truly fruitful soulmate relationship… Especially in these “interesting times.”

And isn’t intimate connection one of the great joys of life?

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