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How To Revive His Sex Drive

I love him but can’t endure another sexless marriage.

It’s not always women who are the ones that don’t want sex in a long term relationship. It’s more and more common I hear from wives who want to revive his drive:

Dear Susan,

“Please tell me how to revive his passion and sex drive. I’m lost as to how to turn him on.

He says he’s been dead for six years. I’m not and would love to try to awaken him but he says it’s a limp thing. I’m ready to try anything but he seems to be like a cold fish.

Is it time for me to walk away and find someone who likes sex?

He swears he’s not gay just doesn’t have any desire. Says he loves me but I want some intimacy.

He’s almost 60 and I’m a few years older.

I want to try new things and feel the closeness sex can bring. I love him but don’t think I could endure another sexless marriage. My deceased spouse had numerous medical problems so I was understanding for 20 years.

Now I’m ready to enjoy a bonding. What do I do, please help me before it’s too late for me and

I’m in a coffin.

I’ve been reading everything I can to learn more. I want to touch feel and be felt. Am I wrong? I’m pleading for guidance.

Thank you,

(scroll down to read my step-by-step plan to revive his sex drive)


Hi Helena,

It sounds like your husband thinks that because he has erectile dysfunction, sex is over for him. It’s not. First, there are many things that can be done to reverse ED. Watch this video series with Dr. Amy to learn the causes and solutions to ED.

Secondly, start with my Soulmate Embrace technique. Teach him how to hold you. This will increase your intimate connection in lieu of intercourse for the time being.

Practice this holding technique at least five times before giving up on him or it.

Third, have him give you three genital massages per week. Get our Steamy Sex Ed Video Collection and have him follow along.

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He needs to watch and practice while he’s telling you what he’s doing and you’re giving him feedback. Remember, he has no skill, so he’s going to need a lot of encouragement.

If he shows signs of willingness to stick with this massage practice, consider “graduating” to Expanded Orgasm dates. Our Expand Her Orgasm Tonight program teaches a couple how to give a woman Expanded Orgasms. This will get you back into multiple orgasm mode, even without his penis working. Here is more information on the Expanded Orgasm Practice.

And here is a video of Tim and I talking about our Expanded Orgasm Practice we’ve been doing for 14 years straight.

Also get some sex toys and play with them together. Here are my best toy recommendations which include a Magic Wand, a vibrating G-Spot toy and two wands — a glass and metal one.  You get an ebook with our best recommendations and a free video to show you how to use them. You may also want to add a big dildo to your toy chest so that you can have your husband put that dildo inside you to fill you up while he strokes your clitoris and labia in your Expanded Orgasm dates.

And finally, start giving him hand jobs, even if he’s flaccid. My Steamy Sex Ed Video Collection also has sensual and erotic penis massage techniques you can follow along with. They will feel great to him and remind him he does like physical intimacy!

You can reverse his penile atrophy with massage as well as with a vacuum erection device (penis pump). If you pump him up a couple times a week, it may revive his penis. At the least it will feel good.

The pumps I recommend are:

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Here is a video series that shows you what to do to pump him or have him pump himself. Warming his penis with a warm wet towel first really helps.

All this touch and learning together is a fun couples project. It will get you both going in the right direction and you’ll start having intimate fun times together again.

Let me know your questions and send me a progress report!

I was the limp fish in my marriage and Tim and I turned me around and now I love sex. It can be done. Bring your compassionate heart and take these steps.

If you want more of a straight-up massage techniques program instead of a super sexy one like my Steamy Sex Ed Collection, my friend Mariah Freya teaches

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healing massage techniques.

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