A fan sent me an email asking:
“How do I build attraction in a woman I just met?”
Guys are more nervous than ever about complimenting a woman. It’s the unfortunate side effect of the #metoo movement. But a lot of women still enjoy male attention. We like it when a man finds us attractive, even desirable.
Women who make eye contact, laugh and giggle, touch their hair, cross and uncross their legs, lick their lips, or tease a guy are usually sending signals.
If a woman is giving you attention, tell her she’s smart and pretty. If she responds, give her your card. Don’t ask for her contact information; just tell her she’s welcome to contact you. By letting her know it’s her decision whether to connect or not, you both empower her and make her feel feminine.
Now let’s talk about building sexual attraction with a woman who you know is interested. Once you know how to communicate effectively verbally and non-verbally, you can start to generate an emotional connection.
Here are five very simple ways to start building connection and attraction:
1) Solid, confident eye contact: Meet her eyes when you talk to her. (And for goodness sake, don’t pull out your phone if you hear a text alert. That alone will win her heart!)
2) Shift your posture in her direction. This sends her an important signal: “You have my full attention.” Women want your presence and attention.
3) Tell her she’s pretty. Be specific about what you find pretty about her. Genuinely appreciate her beauty rather than just flatter her. (This goes contrary to what most pick up artists will tell you. And it works to open her up to you.)
4) Look for opportunities to be chivalrous. Being courteous and masculine create magnetic attraction. For example, open her door for her. If she reaches for the door, say, “Please. Let me get that for you.” Even if she opens it before you get there, your attention will make her feel womanly.
5) Offer to buy her a drink or a cup of coffee. Seems obvious, yes? But men often miss this opportunity to give a woman the “I want you to be happy” signal.
Beyond that, just be a great guy. Women are very attracted to good men who are doing good things in the world. Don’t be shy about your achievements. (But don’t boast about them, either. Save the bravado for a night out with the boys.)
When talking to a woman about your accomplishments, mention the people who have contributed to your success. This demonstrates humility. Plus, showing her how much you respect those who helped you can arouse similar feelings in her for you.
Time and proximity are also important to build attraction. The more we get to know someone, the more attractive they become. When you take her on a date, be intentional about where you go. Take her someplace where she will meet people who know, like, and trust you. Take her to more than one place. Both of these will build desire for you in her mind.
Women are very safety-conscious. We have to be. Anything you can do to signal safety will build attraction.
Now let’s talk about what women want from a man in a relationship. The truth is: women don’t always communicate clearly what they want. And some women don’t even know what they want.
I wrote a book called, Relationship Magic for just this reason. It helps both men and women understand what they want most from a relationship. See, our relationship wants are based on our personal values.
Get this book and do the exercise. Discover your own relationship values. That will allow you to speak with authority about what you want. It will also make it easy for you to talk with a woman about what she wants. Relationship Magic will give you a whole new relationship vocabulary. (Relationship Magic is really a workbook, not a whole long book. It’s fast and valuable to know what you want most in a relationship.)
Women love to talk about relationships and what they value. This is a great conversation to have with a woman you find attractive. You might even help her understand herself better.
And when you know your values and can help her understand hers, she may find that she likes you VERY much!
Here is a discount link for the downloadable workbook about relationship values.
Fast, Easy, Conversation Trick ⇐ Walk Up To A Beautiful Woman
Now go start building the attraction!
All the things you mention are things you wish the RIGHT guy would say to you. If you’re not that “right guy”, she’ll listen to you, then throw her drink in your face like what happened in “Tootsie” when Dustin Hoffman said all the things you mentioned, but coming from an out of work actor (Dustin’s character) offended her. That’s why I have a hard time taking advice from a woman like you, you just don’t know what it’s like being a guy and getting rejected constantly.