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How To Make Love Step-by-Step

How To Make Love Step-by-Step

Warning! Very sexy directions inside.

This story about how to make love to a woman has a companion video. => Check It Out on YouTube

> How do I let go of goals but still “keep eyes on the ball?”

This is a story where I tell you, step-by-step how to make love. Please take this in with an open mind, because I notice this is where guys think they know more than they do. So I tell you with a loving heart that you can DEFINITELY become a better lover reading this.

Your juicy loving words & ideas make me really look forward to fun sex every day. The way you talk about sex, it tells me how great it is for you. Plus, the articles you send out in your newsletter are beyond helpful and informative. Where were you all our lives? I also want to thank you for your FREE book on how to have More Sex More Often as loving couples. It turned my whole relationship and sex life a complete 180! Thanks!”

— Matt

So many women can’t achieve their pleasure-potential because their man has a very limited view of what lovemaking is. (If you are straight, gay, single, married, queer, poly, trans… it’s ALL good… this lovemaking game plan can be modified by you to your sexual satisfaction.)

Sex goes beyond the moment of penetration. Everything you’re doing isn’t leading up to intercourse. The whole lovemaking experience can be orgasmic when you know how to take a woman into her sexual mind state and then give her stacking, expanding orgasmic pleasure.

Women want a man with a plan — a bedroom game plan. Women ask me constantly, how do I get him to stop thinking penetration is the goal? How do I get him to take the lead to more sensual experiences? How do I get him to slow down and stop rushing me?

Side note: “Dominance Aura” was one of the top five sex techniques women said they wanted their man to learn in a recent survey I did about sexual skills.

So how does he show confidence and bedroom dominance? The first step starts with having the plan, the confidence to move a woman through a sexually escalating and then calming experience. The second step happens before you start having sex too. Step two is setting a sensual environment. The “mood setting” establishes polarity (masculine sexual leadership) by creating a safe and sexy environment that allows a woman to surrender to her pleasure with you.

Paul writes:

“Sexual mindset question… You say to let go of goals in the bedroom but at the same time to lead her to her sexual pleasure. How do I do both?”


Memorize many techniques so you have a lot to draw from. Get on my Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection VIP Notification list. I’ll let you know the next time we have a sale on Steamy. With over 200 massage, oral and lovemaking techniques and positions, you’ll be running the bedroom game at a much higher level of skill.

Use a lot of variety of finger, tongue, genital stimulation… keep her desire increasing. This is about momentum. You’re taking her from neutral to aroused but building S.L.O.W.L.Y.

Do NOT go right for her breasts or genitals… Start from the outside (hands, feet, hair, back) and slowly work your way to her breasts and genitals. Here’s my Bulls-eye Touch Technique video describing it.

You are going to be aware of moving her up her arousal ladder without pushing her too fast. Think about toggling — going back and forth from stimulation to relaxation and back, again and again. Allowing her to get turned on a little, then letting her system rest a tiny bit from it, then stimulating her again will actually arouse her faster than doing just stimulation.

This approach I’m describing is not the right way; it’s just one possibility that will give you a good feel for masculine sexual leadership. You have felt it already. When you take charge and move her body around, when you spank her butt, you take a dominant role. That increases the polarity and both of you get a direct hit of masculinity, which obviously works for her.

When guys get their hands on my Revive Her Drive program, they often start out thinking, “I’ve got to fix her.” The smart guys come back to me awhile later, saying: “Wow, I thought it was her, but it’s me I need to fix. I need to work on my polarity.”

Paul said, “I want to thank you for Revive Her Drive program, I went through all the audio books and I think I have found the problem. It was polarity.” Our connection has really improved since I started running the bedroom game plan. Yesterday my wife even told me that she had a dream in which she asked me to go to bed NOT TO SLEEP :-).”

Now let’s talk about how you ravish her in the bedroom. I’m just going to walk you through a lovemaking scene.

You want to start a day or two ahead of time. Send her sexy texts, tease her in all good ways, let her know how much you want her.

Go out and buy her some special lingerie and, when the day comes, lay it out on the bed. If she likes to wear sexy shoes, put those out, too. Here’s what kind of lingerie women like and the safest things to get.

Set the temperature in the room just the way she likes it. You don’t want her rustling around for a blanket or pair of wool socks because she gets cold. Put on a playlist of romantic music you know gets her turned on. I recommend Ellen Eatough’s Sex Music. This is what women find very romantic and it has special auditory processing that puts your mind in the Theta brainwave state — which is the orgasmic brain wave state too.

Have some candles ready or just pop in one of these orange party bulbs so the lighting encourages her to get naked. Heat up some organic coconut oil so it’s melted and warm, and have some organic avocado oil to use on her when she’s ready for a yoni massage.

Make sure you have a pitcher of water by the bed and a couple of glasses. You might want to throw down a waterproof mattress cover (especially if she squirts or if you’ve been working on the female ejaculation techniques inside Female Liquid Orgasm).Put another sheet on top of the mattress cover. Then when you’re done having sex you can just pull it off and throw it on the floor until morning.

Have a stack of towels near the bed.Hand-towels and washcloths for wiping off lube and fluids. Bath towels for putting under her if she wants more absorbency.

Do whatever you need to do to get the bedroom ready for lovemaking. I give detailed instructions on how to create the most sensual lovers’ space in this audio: The Orgasmic Fantastic Sex Date. Go ahead and grab a copy with my compliments and commit it to memory. You also get a transcript of the audio for later reference.


Next you’re going to start warming her up while the two of you are still in the living room. Give her a foot rub or a neck rub. Stroke her hair, tell her how sexy she is and how much you want her. Then say, “After dinner, I want you to go into the bedroom, I bought a surprise for you. Don’t go in until I let you.” This is you leading with your masculine, taking charge. By now she’s getting excited. She knows you bought her something. She loves that. Girls love a present, especially one that makes us feel sexy.

During dinner, tell her how much you love her. Be playful. Tell her you’ve planned a very nice night for her. When dinner is over, give her direction. Say, “I want you to go in the bedroom. Your surprise is on the bed. Better yet…” then just pick her up and carry her to the bedroom.

When she sees the lingerie spread out on the bed, say: “I want you to put this on. I want to see you in it.” Take off her clothes and help her put on the new lingerie. Step back and admire her.

But don’t get busy right away. Say, “Come let daddy love you. Let me hug you and hold you for awhile.” Sit against the headboard with a bunch of pillows behind you like a throne and draw her into your arms. Say, “Let’s just relax for a bit; we’ve got plenty of time.” Holding her like this calms her nervous system.

Start to synchronize your breaths. You’ll both start breathing slower and deeper. When you feel her start to let go, pull her around toward you so you can look into her eyes and ask her if there’s anything she wants to talk about. If she needs to get anything off her chest, just listen. This is not the time to try to solve her problems. Just being there you will soothe her. Keep telling her how sexy she looks in her new lingerie. Give her specifics, like, “Your breasts look so gorgeous in that bra. I love the way they’re so pert. And your nipples, I have always loved your nipples.”

Say whatever is real for you. Go inside yourself and notice what’s coming up for you. Then start giving her a body massage. This is where you may want to remove some pieces of the lingerie. You’re in charge, remember. Move her body where you want her, saying, “Okay, baby, I want you to lie here. I’m gonna give you a massage.” Get her very loose and fluid. Then roll her around and start kissing her a little bit. Shift your weight on top of her, but not all at once. She’s lying back on the bed. You get closer to her, drape your leg across her body. Kiss her face, her forehead, her neck. Then rise up over her and play-act pinning her down so she knows she can get out from underneath you if she wants to. Kiss her chest and her shoulders.

Then move toward her mouth, but just brush your lips and then go back to her neck. Brush her lips again, and come back. Brush again, and head for her ears. Then maybe kiss her again, this time giving her a little lick, then back to that erogenous zone—her ears. Your job is to move around and give her a lot of variety. Just let her relax into the sensations of making out. Then go for the deeper kisses, however, she likes it—french kisses, deep probing make-out kisses, and start running your hands all over her body.

What you’re doing is awakening her sensual grid. You’re firing up her skin so she can start to feel her sensual nature. You’re essentially making her body come alive by running the palms of your hands and fingers all over her whole body. Try and cover as much of her skin as you can. You’re reminding her body of its outer edges.


Next, set up pillows so she’s completely relaxed and go down on her. Here’s my cunnilingus pillow plan. Remember that you’re working your way from the outside in. You’re not going straight for her clitoris. Tell her how beautiful her pussy looks. Again, listen to your internal voice and tell her something specific you like about her private parts. By saying these things out loud, she’ll get more and more turned on. I know it’s hard for some guys to voice their thoughts. Make the effort. It’s as important to her to HEAR your affirmations of desire as it is for you that she dresses in lingerie. (No, not all men care about the visuals, nor do all women care about the verbal feedback, but generally most do.) Tell her when you notice her yoni turning a darker color, getting plumper. Tell her you want to lick her pussy and hear her moan with pleasure. Tell her you love seeing her orgasm face and it makes you feel like a stud.

Dear man. Listen up. Don’t be goal oriented. Your job is not to give her an orgasm, just to give her pleasure. If she comes, that’s great. If she doesn’t, don’t worry. Let go of any attachment to an outcome. It just creates performance anxiety for both of you. And confident men are good with whatever happens. So just let things happen instead of trying to force it.

If you’re not sure how to give her cunnilingus or don’t have a wide variety of moves to come her really well, get on my Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection VIP Notification list. There are over 90 oral pleasuring techniques and 40 or 50 different hand techniques. Especially if she doesn’t like oral and doesn’t let you give her oral, get these videos. If she doesn’t like cunnilingus, there’s a 99% chance you’re just not that good at it. When someone knows how to eat a pussy well, their partner wants it all the time. (Same with blow jobs.)

While you’re going down on her, use your fingers and hands as well. You want to get inside her vagina to stimulate the urethral and perineal sponges of erectile tissue and the sensitive vaginal nerves and clitoral legs (crura). Rub and gently knead the tissue underneath her pubic hair areas too. That’s where her vestibular bulbs are. And at the top, across the mons venus where the pubic hair is has tissue that needs to be softened for her to fully ejaculate. If you can give her a pussy massage while you’re licking her labia, her clitoris (including the hood and shaft), her urethral opening (pee hole) and her vaginal opening and G-Area up inside her vaginal canal you’ll be stimulating that whole clitoral structure.


What you’re doing is getting as much blood to her genitals as possible. You want to get her fully engorged. Most men don’t realize that a woman has a penis, too. The female structure that’s similar to your penis is inside, not outside. Her entire clitoral structure is more than the little button guys think of as her clit, there’s also the shaft, the legs, the vestibular bulbs. You want the entire area to be full of blood so she basically has a hard-on in her vulva.

Then you will start moving her around on the bed. While you’re eating her pussy, move her legs, lift up her butt, jiggle her a little on your face. Pay attention to her responses and adjust. You can even have a discussion beforehand and set up a feedback loop that I discuss at length in my new free ebook, The Sexual Soulmate Pact. This is one of the six essential skills for connected sex from my new #1 international Amazon best-seller, Sexual Soulmates. Can I get a hell yeah?

The main thing to remember is that you’re in charge.

You move her.

When you move a woman’s body, you move her emotions. She is going to have so much fun. You might flip her over and give her a couple little smacks on her bottom. You know, a spanking is really nice. It doesn’t have to be hard slap; your aim is to enliven her sweet cheeks with sensation. It can be little tiny pats, it could be squeezes. It doesn’t have to be a spanking, but that will get most women going because it’s something new that is a little naughty.

Then say to her, “I want you to go down on me now.” Give her direction. This is not a time to be needy or timid. Remember: you are leading her. Tell her to get on her knees. Tell her you want her to give you three little licks on the tip of your cock… just a little tease.

You don’t want to have her deep-throat you just yet. If she’s not big on going down on you, make it super short and easy for her to comply. “I want you to give me three little licks.” You can learn all about teach these techniques in Sloane’s book, The Blowjob Secret. The book goes into all the benefits of giving head for women. I won’t go into that now, but you can go here to get the full download. Right now, I want you to grip her hair gently from the roots and slowly have her give you a couple of little licks. She may surprise you once she gets a taste of your cock.

To increase your chances of getting good head from your woman, pay attention to your grooming. Shave back your pubic hair. If you have those straggly hairs that dangle from the bottom of your penis, get the two grooming tools I recommend. Shaver 1 is a better version of a beard trimmer. It will remove the long hair. Shaver 2 is an orbital trimmer that will make your skin smooth without stubble.These shavers are great for men and women. You don’t have to wax or shave with a razor. These tools are like a beard trimmer and a close shaver. Get your pubic situation manscaped and she’ll be much happier going down on you. She’ll take it as a sign that you’re taking the lead by making the whole experience work for her.

When you wash up beforehand, be sure to rinse thoroughly. Some soaps have a bad taste and that’s the last thing you want her to experience when she takes you into their mouth. Women are very sensitive to flavors, smells, and textures. How you taste or smell can make or break the mood so use deodorant if you need it. You want the entire experience to be friction-free for her so she can relax and enjoy.

Once you can see that she is aroused, tell her she’s gonna have to beg you for sex. You’re not gonna give it to her until she wants you inside her so bad she guides your cock between her legs and begs you to enter.

When she does, pick her up, lay her down on the bed, open her legs, and push her down. Make sure she’s down, hold her with one hand, and then hold your penis with the other one, and tap your penis on her vulva. Tap it on her clit, rub it around. Go above her clitoral hood and tease the slick tissue that’s there with the tip of your cock. Hold the head of your penis in your hand and use it as a massage tool to stroke all the way down to her fourchette and perineum. (NOTE: Don’t let your penis get anywhere near the anus if you’re planning to put it in her vagina, but you know that.)

Get her wanting you to penetrate her. You want her to plead, “Oh baby, come on, you’re driving me crazy, let me have him, I want your cock inside me so bad.”

Be easy on yourself, and on her. No-one expects you to do this perfectly. You’ll know you’re in the zone when she surrenders to your masculine leadership and decides to have a great time with it.

You’re stepping into a new role sexually. She might even give you feedback and say something like, “That doesn’t feel good.” Stay in the leadership position by saying, “Thanks baby.” Shift your focus, pressure, or tempo then ask, “Do you like this?” Your willingness to course-correct will make her trust you even more to take her into exciting new sexual terrain.

When you are making love to her, try a few positions. Bend over the bed, “Baby, I’m taking you from behind. Put those high heels back on.” The whole time you’re telling her how unbelievably sexy she is to you, how much she turns you on, how no other woman does it for you like she does. Just keep giving her positive feedback and being the guy in charge.

After you’ve come, she might still have a few more orgasms in her, so put your fingers inside her and stroke her G spot. She might want to hold her vibrator on her clit to have a few more orgasms. You might be satisfied, but she’s got a few more orgasms in her. Have the vibrator clean and ready at the bedside table.

When you can’t wring one more orgasm out of her, hold her close and tell her what an amazing lover she is.

That, my man, is masculine sexual leadership. She doesn’t have to wonder what the plan is or figure out what to do. She doesn’t have to tell you what to do. All she has to do is follow along, get fantastic sex and lots of orgasms from a man who adores her.


The more you play with this and the more you listen to what’s inside you, the more you’ll trust yourself and the more she’ll trust you. You’ll start coming up with things you’d like to do, and she will, too. Tap into yourself, and you’ll find that your zest, your vitality, your connection to yourself and to your woman, will grow and grow. And your life outside the bedroom will start to change in surprising ways.

And Ladies, I hope that you can find the words to describe any and all of the parts of this that you’d like in your sex life. And please feel free to post under the video on Youtube words of encouragement for the guys.

Post Your Comment Here => My Opinion of How To Ravish A Woman

I hope that gives you a picture of how to ravish your woman… Or how you want to be ravished.

I really appreciate you being part of my world. If you have any questions, post them under the video on YouTube.

I mentioned a lot of products in this email. Wherever I have additional resources I want to provide them for you. Trust your gut to lead you to the areas of interest that will be most valuable to you as you go on your journey of sexual exploration.

Because what is awe inspiring about your sexuality is that it has no upper limits of pleasure.

This story about how to make love to a woman has a companion video. => Check It Out on YouTube


  1. Mrs.Susan this article is not good is GREAT thank you for teaching me notice that I said teaching me because I am not talking about other men I feel that you are talking to me guiden me to be more manly THANK YOU.

    • Francisco,
      Thank you for your kind compliment. I hope this scenario I’ve laid out for you helps you take your woman on an erotic, orgasmic adventure!

  2. I loved the article. Many thanks. The true definition of love making…

  3. Nice article

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