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Losing Your Virginity

I made this for coming-of-age teens.

My girlfriend Robin has an 18-year old daughter. She’s worried about Hanna losing her virginity and thinks it’s almost time.

If you know anything about teenagers, they don’t often like to listen to their parents. Haha.

So I made this video for all the virgins out there on YouTube, all my friends with teenagers about ready to pop their cherries, and anyone of ANY age (there is no shame in waiting until you’re ready) who hasn’t yet lost their virginity.


Please thumbs up this video so more people will discover it. Thank you.

This video aims to make your “first time” a treasured memory you will look back on fondly for the rest of your life.

There are a couple of things that you need to know if you’re thinking about losing your virginity.

First and foremost: I want you to be READY to do it.

Don’t pressure yourself, and certainly don’t let anyone pressure you into it if you’re not 100% ready.

A lot of young people put pressure on their peers by claiming they’ve had sex when they actually haven’t. And they also lie and exaggerate about how awesome it is and how much you’re missing out, making you feel like you’re being left behind. Don’t buy it.

Your sexuality is a treasure that belongs to you and you only.

It might be hard to hold onto that understanding, especially for teens who are so close and intimate with their BFFS.

But this part of your life is too important to allow yourself to be persuaded into something that’s not right for you. So take your time. Find the right person. Do it when it’s going to be meaningful.

Your virginity is a prize and you only get one “first time.”

The second thing you have to be aware of, besides being emotionally and physically ready, is how to be safe.

You don’t want to get pregnant, you don’t want to get someone pregnant, and you don’t want to give or get any sexually transmitted diseases.

If you’re a virgin and you’ve never had intercourse, you could still have a sexually transmitted disease if you’ve been sexual in other ways.

Now I don’t want to scare you, but I want you to be very careful about how you have sex and who you have sex with.

Smart people get a series of STI tests.

If you’re not comfortable going to your family doctor, go to Planned Parenthood or a clinic; these organizations typically provide services for free or a minimal fee.

You’ll find a list of all of the STD tests you will need here.

If you’ve never had sex and you’re pretty sure you don’t have any STIs, you still need to use a condom when you’re having sex with a partner.

If you’re the woman, you may also want to seriously consider getting an intrauterine device (IUD) to prevent unwanted pregnancy. The IUD is very safe. You can go to Planned Parenthood or a gynecologist and have one put in your uterus.

The procedure isn’t any more painful than getting a shot and only hurts for a few seconds. You can wear it for three to five years to keep you from conceiving a baby.

The nice thing about an IUD is you don’t have to worry about remembering to take birth control pills and taking them with you whenever you spend the night at a friends house or go on vacation.

But be aware that even if you do have an IUD, you need to use condoms when you have intercourse. That protects you from getting most sexually transmitted diseases.

If you’re the guy, it’s always important to carry condoms with you. It is your responsibility as a grown ass man to protect the women you have sex with.

Try a lot of different ones on so you get the right fit. A lot of guys think that condoms aren’t comfortable or they ruin the moment, but I can tell you that women super appreciate being taken care of in this way because they don’t have to worry about an accidental pregnancy or getting an STI.

(It also means she will be more free to enjoy the sex because she doesn’t have that worry going on in the back of her mind.)

It’s a good idea to practice using condoms. Put it on when you have a full erection so you’ll be confident when it’s time to put it on rather than fumble around, spoil the moment, and risk losing your erection.

Plus, if you practice ahead of time you won’t be stressing about getting that rubber on when your woman is ready.

We’ve talked about the importance of being ready emotionally and physically, not feeling pressured into doing something before you’re ready, and making sure you’re practicing safe sex so you don’t give or get any diseases or get someone pregnant.

I want you to be able to look back at this moment with really sweet memories.

Before you “go all the way” you should talk with your partner about it and agree that it’s okay.

That means you’re on the same page and both or you are ready. Then take your time.

You also want to make sure that you’re in a private and safe place where you won’t get interrupted. I don’t recommend doing it at a party if other people can come in the room. You want to be able to relax, especially the first time you ever have sex. Same goes if you’re no longer a virgin but your partner is.

When you find your private place, make a nice little nest that’s really sweet and cozy.

Spend a few minutes connecting with your partner and honoring the moment. Then take your time with foreplay: kissing, oral sex, touching each other’s bodies, playing with each other’s genitals with your hands, feeling each other, holding each other.

It’s important that you get comfortable and connected with each other. Look in your lover’s eyes, breathe together, and feel your heartbeats.

Don’t feel like you have to rush the moment should you feel nervous.

Everybody’s nervous the first time they make love. You’re entering unknown territory. And believe me, a lot of people are a little nervous every time. There’s a little bit of a performance anxiety that comes with sex no matter how many times you’ve had intercourse, and no matter how many orgasms you’ve had. Don’t worry about it. Just know that part of what makes losing your virginity exciting is the newness of the whole experience.

If you’ve talked with your partner, gotten your agreements about what you’re willing to do and not willing to do, don’t worry about ruining the moment by talking asking for what you need. If you are straight with your person that you’re having sex with, and they care about you enough to be intimate with you, they’re going to want the best for you, and you’re going to want the best for them.

A big part of losing your virginity is actually having the confidence and the comfort and the communication with the person that you’re going to have sex with.

Spend time making out, holding each other, getting each other turned on.

If the woman gets scared and she can’t get turned on, back off and wait. She might be mentally ready, but her body needs time to catch up.

You definitely don’t want to try and enter her if she’s not eager to have you inside her.

And I recommend using lubrication. Categorically you can use silicone, oil or water-based sexual lubricants.

Remember: Oil breaks down LATEX condoms. 10% of people have a known allergy to latex anyway. Latex are the cheapest but most allergenic. I say, why risk it! Get polyurethane condoms instead.

I recommend polyurethane condoms with organic avocado oil for intercourse. Why? The condoms are hypoallergenic, protect you against STD’s and you can use a natural oil, like avocado or coconut and it won’t degrade the material. If you use a good oil, you can eat it right off of her and it will be chemical free.


Condoms made from AT-10, polyurethane, and lambskin (animal intestines) are compatible with oil-based lubricants, but polyisoprene condoms (a latex that allegedly has the allergens removed) are only compatible with water and silicone lubes. Lambskin and other natural animal products will not protect you from STD’s.

Then, of course, all you have to do is slip a penis into a vagina and move it around however feels good.

But even getting his penis in her vagina can be tricky the first time.

It’s best to LOOK where you’re going and for her to help him guide his penis inside.

Breath deeply, reconnect your hearts and don’t worry! Humans have been doing this for two and a half million years. You are genetically wired to be excellent at this!

It’s great if the guy can take his time and he doesn’t feel like he has to have his ejaculation quickly, and you just enjoy each other.

If the guy comes very quickly the first time, don’t worry about it. It’s very exciting for him, and he probably doesn’t have much practice.

If there are no orgasms this first time, don’t worry. Sex takes practice. Practice makes perfect.

There’s also the hymen… Some women have a membrane that covers the vaginal opening or entroitus. For some women it’s barely or not-at-all noticeable and for other’s it a thick membrane that makes it hard to get a penis to penetrate.

Again, take your time. If it’s hard to penetrate your vagina with his penis, you may want to get a mirror and take a look at the opening of your vaginal canal. See if it’s covered by the hymen.

If it is, sometimes with gentle penetration and plenty of lubrication, you can get the penis inside.

If you happen to be a woman with a very thick hymen, you may want to go to your gynecologist and talk to them about how best to proceed.

And yes, the first time you have sex, if you do have a hymen that gets a little torn from penetration, you may see some blood. That’s also perfectly normal. And the hymen allegedly doesn’t have any nerve endings so it is not supposed to be too painful.

If there is pain, refrain!

Do do anything that hurts, OK? Remember, this is your first time but it can be postponed and you can always try again.

Make this a happy, pleasurable experience and be good to your hearts!

Okay, if you have any questions, I want you to post them below my video.


I check back on my YouTube channel frequently, and I’ll respond to your questions.

I’m sure you have something in your mind that I didn’t answer, and I can’t guess what it is but I can definitely reply if you post a question below the video.

Please be kind in posting your questions and remember that I’m here to help you and everyone else have a really beautiful experience the first time you lose your virginity.

I hope you have a fantastic day and a fantastic sex life.

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