To achieve full sensual surrender…
Sometimes the only way to feel safe enough to let all your sensuality and inner tigress out to play is through establishing a sacred container.
Say you want to do something adventurous… (always with a consensual agreement — everyone is a verbal yes). Something you had never done before but always wanted to try.
Something you don’t want anyone else to know about except the person or people involved…
Here’s a way to create an explicit agreement between all members stating that everything said or done during this experience will be private.
It’s called creating a sacred container.
You can create a quick and simple sacred container even on a first date. Just create it, get agreements and boundaries, and close it at night’s end. This will increase your potential to playfully out sensually, knowing that it will “disappear” into the ages.
Sacred containers are also fun with your closest friends at house parties.
Open the Circle > Get Agreements > Open To Your Experience > Know You Are Held > Close the Circle > After Circle Rules.
A sacred container is used to create trust, ensure privacy, allow container members to unyoke from societal pretense, live more fully in truth, and have unfiltered experiences of self-realization within the container and in parallel with those inside.
THE SACRED CONTAINER
Open The Circle
Two or more people agree to form a sacred container. This is a verbal, shared intention for exploration and growth. Sacred containers have also been called a circle of privacy, a cone of silence, an insider’s club, pinkie swear, and “what stays in Vegas”… the concept has many names… and they all mean protecting your own and everyone else’s privacy and process.
All members agree that the sacred container will be in effect for a specific time. At the end of that time, you will close the circle as a group after you “complete,” which means you will have time to process your emotions and share favorite “frames” or experiences in a closing circle—more on the frames below.
Agreeing to be part of a sacred container means that you will keep everything that occurred during the period of the container COMPLETELY PRIVATE, even your own experiences, never to be discussed with anyone (see agreements below regarding spouses, etc.) outside the sacred container.
An alternate privacy option is that you can share your own experiences in the first person narrative with NO mention of names, nor any personally identifiable time or location-based information that would allow someone to believe they gained insight into another person’s behavior inside the sacred container. Speak only from your own experience. Do not project your imaginings onto others. State only non-identifiable facts.
The sanctity of the holy container is better maintained if you just don’t talk about anything that happened in the container with people outside the container. Talk with people who were there if you need to process further.
Agree on the timeframe of the container in advance. If you need to close a container and then open another to extend the time, do that.
Agree on who is IN the container. Will it be only the people present? Spouses? People who were involved the last time you did this? Members of your community? Specific people identified and agreed upon by all members of the container who are present only in spirit?
Under what conditions can photos be shared?
Are there any restrictions? Unacceptable behaviors or boundaries?
Open To Your Experience
The sacred container is an energetic space of expansion and promises complete privacy. Sacred containers encourage nurturing, growth, and healing to occur as well. In the opening to MORE, people often go through emotions that need to be processed.
Know You Are Held But Own Your Safety
Part of the agreement of a sacred container is that as a container member, you will play your part in caring for others as they open or express.
Shame is to be minimized. Expansion is to be nurtured. The sacred container is a supportive space.
If you feel emotionally triggered — express it — but be kind to others with their own experience. Make room for your own and everyone else’s growth.
Generate a feeling of support for all members of the container.
Own your safety, both physically and emotionally. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way. Keep others out of danger. If you feel excluded, ask to be brought into the fold.
Close The Circle
Gather the people of the sacred container. Closing Circles can be done online afterward by group call or video, but the best closing circles are done in person.
Choose a Circle Leader and timekeeper. Agree on a time limit for each member’s shares. Go around the group in order or popcorn style and share your most valuable experience or frame*. Express gratitude to your container mates and witness their testimonies, as they often provide vulnerable and expansive gleanings for your growth.
*Frames are a descriptive snapshot of shared experience. Frames expand and deepen your experience. A frame is like a border around a picture – a snapshot in time (or a short sequence).
Often, frames reflect an individual’s experiences, both in emotional and physical sensation. So when you share frames, you explain how a situation impacted you personally, emotionally, spiritually, and corporeally.
People find they can enjoy re-living specific experiences through sharing frames. They find they can also enjoy new details upon hearing other’s frames.
Each of you shares one specific frame (or snapshot in time) of the experience relating to a sensation in your body that you found extremely powerful.
The Circle Leader reminds everyone of the privacy considerations and then officially closes the circle.
After Circle Rules
DO NOT SPEAK about the events in the container to anyone except those with you or follow the agreements decided upon for the container. Alternately, follow the first-person narrative rules above after closing the container.
Savor your memories.
Look back with fondness for your self-actualization.
If you liked this Sacred Container Agreement relationship technique, you’ll love this one.
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