“Sacred Container” Agreement
DIY ‘Sacred Container’ Agreement
To achieve full sexual surrender…
Sometimes the only way to feel safe enough to let all your sexuality out to play is through establishing a sacred container.
Say you want to do something really taboo… (always with consensual agreement — everyone is a verbal yes)
Something you don’t want anyone else to know about but the person or people you did it with…
Here’s a way to create an explicit agreement between all members that everything said or done during this experience will be kept completely private.
It’s called creating a sacred container.
You can create a simple and fast sacred container even on a first date. Just create it, get agreements and boundaries and close it at the end of the night. This will increase your potential to play full out sexually knowing that it’s going to “disappear” into the ages.
Sacred containers are also fun with your closest friends at house parties.
The Sacred Container
Open the Circle > Get Agreements > Open To Your Experience > Know You Are Held > Close the Circle > After Circle Rules
A sacred container is used to create trust, ensure privacy, allow members of the container to unyoke from societal pretense, live more fully in truth and have unfiltered experiences of self-realization within the container both alone and in parallel with those inside.
Open The Circle
Two or more people agree to form a sacred container. This is a verbal, shared intention for exploration and growth. Sacred containers have also been called, circle of privacy, cone of silence, insider’s club, pinkie swear, what stays in Vegas… the concept has many names… and they all mean, protect your own and all other’s privacy and process.
All members agree that the sacred container will be effect for a specific time period. At the end of that time you will close the circle as a group after you “get complete,” which means, have time to process your emotions and to share favorite “frames” or experiences in a closing circle. More on frames below.
Agreeing to be part of a sacred container means that you will keep everything that happened during the time period of the container COMPLETELY PRIVATE, even your own experiences never to be discussed with anyone (see agreements below regarding spouses, etc.) outside the sacred container.
An alternate privacy option is that you can share your own experiences in the first person narrative with NO mention of names of anyone else, nor any personally identifiable, time or location-based information that would allow someone to believe they gained insight into the behavior of another person inside the sacred container that is not you. Speak only from your own experience. Do not project your imaginings onto others. State only non-identifiable facts.
For example: “I had incredible sex with another man and woman. It was a life-affirming growth experience. Everyone got tested before we made love and we had fully-surrendered, wet sex for a whole glorious weekend together.” — This makes no mention of the other people involved and was kept to her own experience.
The sanctity of the sacred container is better maintained if you just don’t talk about anything that happened in the container with people outside the container. Talk with people who were there if you need to process further.
Agree on the timeframe of the container in advance. If you need to close a container and then open another to extend time, do that.
Agree on who is IN the container. Just the people present? Spouses? People who were involved the last time you did this? Members of your community? Specific people identified and agreed upon by all members of the container who are present only in spirit?
Under what conditions can photos be shared?
Are there any restrictions? Unacceptable behaviors or boundaries? (No unprotected sex, no intoxicants, no cell phones, no cameras, et cetera.)
Open To Your Experience
The sacred container is an energetic space of expansion and complete privacy. Sacred containers encourage nurturing, growth and healing to occur as well. Many times in the opening to MORE, people go through emotions that need to be processed.
Know You Are Held But Own Your Own Safety
Part of the agreement of a sacred container is that as a member of the container, you will take your part in caring for others as they open or express.
Shame is to be minimized. Expansion is to be nurtured. The sacred container is a supportive space.
If you feel emotionally triggered —express it —but be kind to others who are having their own experience. Make room for your own and all other’s growth.
Generate a feeling of support for all members of the container.
Own your own safety, both physically and emotionally. Don’t put yourself in harm’s way. Keep others out of danger. If you feel excluded, ask to be brought into the fold.
Close The Circle
Gather the people of the sacred container. Closing Circles can be done online afterwards by group call or video, but the best closing circles are done in person.
Choose a Circle Leader and time-keeper. Agree on a time limit for each member’s shares. Go around the group in order or popcorn style and share your most valuable experience or frame*, express gratitude to your container-mates, and witness other’s shares as they often provide vulnerable and expansive gleanings for your own growth.
*Frames are a descriptive snapshot of shared experience. Frames expand and deepen your experience. A frame is like a border around a picture —it’s a snapshot in time (or a short time sequence).
Often frames are a reflection of an individual’s personal experiences both in emotion and physical sensation. So when you share frames, you explain how a situation impacted you personally, emotionally, spiritually and corporeally.
People find they can enjoy re-living specific experiences through sharing frames. They find they can also enjoy new details hearing other’s frames.
Each of you shares one specific frame (or snapshot in time) of the experience that relates to something you felt in your body, that you found extremely powerful.
The Circle Leader reminds everyone of the privacy considerations and then officially closes the circle.
After Circle Rules
DO NOT SPEAK about what happened in the container except for with those who were inside with you or whatever your agreements for the container are. Alternately, follow the first person narrative rules as above after the container is closed.
Savor your memories. Look back with fondness on your self-actualization. Keep growing.