“The Truth.” A new book from world’s most famous pick up artist…
How “attachment bonding” screws with your ability to savor intimacy.
Neil Strauss, famous for authoring, “The Game” —the most well known book about the world of pick up and seduction — has written another fascinating read. “The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships,” delves deeply into Neil’s childhood to find the answers to why he can’t commit to one woman.
I RECOMMEND, “THE TRUTH.”
Neil wants to fall in love, have a family and unyoke from his constant desire to sleep with new women. But his fear of being locked into a sexual death spiral from monogamy seems like too big a life risk.
USING THE LATEST HEALING TOOLS
His journey takes him into a deep exploration of the newest psychotherapy techniques from attachment theory to somatic experience technique to chair work at a sexual addiction rehab center.
At the core of all of his strife was attachment bonding. Tim’s mother turned him into her “husband” through all kinds of controlling behaviors. His father did not protect him, he neglected him.
Did you read my post about Secure Vs. Insecure Attachments? <== Half of us have insecure attachment. Do you?
This faulty parenting created “avoidant attachment” issues for Neil such that every time he’d get close to a woman, his mind would find ways to run away.
The book describes him coming to an understanding of how he was affected so he could become aware of and circumnavigate the emotional wounds that were blocking him from fully loving and being loved.
What makes this story the most fascinating is not how he healed his attachment bonding issues, but his search for an alternative to monogamy.
After seducing many women for many years, the idea of having sex with only one woman for the rest of his life was a soul-crushing consideration.
WHERE THIS BOOK GETS FUN
And that’s where this book gets fun. You go on his wild ride from Ecstasy and Viagra-fueled “Eyes Wide Shut” swingers parties in Las Vegas…
..to Tantric pujas (sexual celebrations of the Goddess) hosted by those who follow the polyamorous practice of “many loves…”
In this fast-moving book, Neil Strauss bio-hacks his brain maturation through the latest in body/mind psychology while familiarizing himself with the current, most common forms of non-monogamy.
There are a lot of couples who can create a foundation of deep intimacy and turn-on in their monogamy, lovingly mature their children, and then open their marriage together once the kids are established. That’s why the bulk of successful polyamorous and open relationships occur when couples are older. There’s a mostly unresolvable dichotomy between child rearing and screwing around for fun and love that 99% of traditional couples cannot navigate.
The good news for Neil is that there is still hope that he CAN continue to explore his sexuality in the future, in the safe container of his marriage and with his wife. And there can be a lot of fun along the way for this couple if they are willing to speak, “the truth” in all things.
I’m anticipating the sequel.
“The Juice: The Story of One Couple’s Life-Affirming Adventures In Polyamory.”