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4 Plus 27 Fall-In-Love Questions Meme

“His tone of voice irks me.”

“Miss Bossypants is always lecturing me.”

“I can’t bring up the least little thing about our sex life or she either goes ballistic or shuts down completely.”

Do you get “triggered” often? Do little things others say set you off? Do you argue with your partner more than you’d like?

If so, keep reading.

Let me ask you…


Have you heard this meme floating around the Internet about the 36 questions, that if you ask them of even a total stranger, makes you fall in love?

The NY Times has even covered it, twice!

This idea comes from a study called, “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness.”

Essentially, the more vulnerable and intimate your conversation, the more it bringsdfr you together.


I’ve read the questions and only four of them are interesting enough to be insightful:  (The rest are just filler and don’t actively deepen intimacy.)

  • What would constitute a “perfect day” to you?
  • If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
  • If you knew in one year you would die, what would you change, if anything?
  • Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the the problem you have chosen.



Dr. Susan Campbell, my friend and author of a new book called, 5-Minute Relationship Repair previously has written another wonderful book that teaches you how to discuss intimate questions that are much more penetrating. That book is called, Saying What’s Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success. Her latest book, 5-Minute Relationship Repair is also excellent if you are one of those people stuck in a negative communication pattern where you get triggered by each other.

Did you see my recent interview with Susan?

What Securely Functioning Couples Do  ⇐ Watch The Video Interview


Using just a few communications skills can mean the difference between walking on eggshells and carrying around hurt like a big,fat martyr or feeling deeply understood, loved and connected as a couple.

I read a LOT of books, which you know if you’ve been reading my emails and articles for a while.

Most books are just a bunch of regurgitated crap, informational cascades and rational herding (junk that gets passed along as truth) but Dr. Susan Campbell is the REAL DEAL. She’s been a couple’s counselor for many years and her area of expertise is “getting triggered.” Find out what really causes blow ups, shut downs and being stuck in viscous cycles — it’s not what you think.

And if you want my 27 Heart To Heart Sex Talk Questions To Ask Your Partner  ⇐ Click Here5_minute_rrepair

Here’s that link to Dr. Campbell’s book about how to stop the button pushing, fights and cold, smoldering silent resentment starting today.

5 Responses

  1. the first part of number four is the only one that my husband will respond to – anything sounding scripted or from a book immediately arouses his suspicion. “did you read that in a book?”. well yes, and then he usually changes the subject instead of actually answering me. he’s a good guy, makes me dinner every night, takes care of me, so i guess i just have to accept relatively shallow conversation from him.

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