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Why Doesn’t She Feel Horny?

Why Doesn’t She Feel Horny?

Here’s a note from Harry that he said I could share with you.  Many men experience this same confusion. Perhaps you have had the same concerns about your partner?

Susan,

I’m trying to share what I’m learning from you with my wife (gradually) about sexual anatomy, arousal, erectile tissue and engorgement. I asked her if she has ever felt the physical sensation that comes from “engorgement” when we have sex (I describe what it is and how it feels to me when I have an erection).

She says she doesn’t know. She cannot distinguish the physical feeling (which I would call the feeling of being “horny”) from her emotional desire for intimacy.

I’m sure she gets engorged (is it possible that she doesn’t?) but just doesn’t recognize that feeling (that’s so hard for me to imagine!)

Does it feel the same to a woman as it does to a man?

Why do you think she doesn’t feel this, or doesn’t recognize the feeling?

How can I help her to recognize it so I can better gauge what feels good to her and what doesn’t?

It seems like nothing I do (and at least some of what I do should be working…I really think I’m doing it right) gives her that physical turn-on that comes with engorgement.

Do you think I’m moving too fast for her?

Have you any advice?

Thank you so much.

Harry

Dear Harry and Anyone Else Who Has Ever Been In Support Of Another Being Opening To Their Sexuality,
I’m very pleased to hear that you are talking about these issues with your partner. These conversations can be very loving, sexy and fun — it’s called, “pillow talk.”
No one person can ever know another’s experiences, no matter the sex. But I have a theory about why men, in general, have so much self-understanding about how their genitals FEEL compared to what we hear from women. First of all, women’s genitals are fairly hidden, while men’s fit in the palm of their hand. We are not encouraged to explore our vulva.  Men spend more time touching their penis than women do their vulva.
Your wife is simply on the first leg of a beautiful journey of self discovery. I love the way you are opening her to her feminine beauty.
Here’s another reason why she may not yet feel all the sensation you do in her genitals — and why she likes the “intimacy” and closeness to you nearly as much as the orgasmic pleasure.  We humans have a number of nerves that send signals to our brain about what we feel in our bodies. The vagal nerve is one of the fattest and longest in our body. This vagal nerve, which is our nervous system’s information super highway for emotions, runs all the way from a woman’s brain into her genitals, but for men, the vagal nerve stops in their abdomen and is not hooked up to their manhood. The emotional super highway doesn’t stop in Dick Town. (couldn’t resist)
And you love holding her as much as she loves being held. This desire for intimate connection that seems to be equally important to your wife is actually an area for your sexual maturation, Harry. The more time you spend being present with her – expanding your feelings beyond your penis and into your heart – the more intimacy and sensation you will both feel.

The great majority of men, even if you include sexual men who have a lot of experience and numerous lovers, never gets beyond very simple sexual technique. Most men, probably 99% of ALL men on the planet, never acquire the skills to have an Expanded Orgasm practice with a woman, learn how to give her ejaculatory orgasms, or even learn to properly escalate her arousal over a long enough period of time for her to get engorged.

If you are reading this you are in the upper echelon of men who put their attention on being particularly excellent in lovemaking.

And it takes a special woman to want to explore her sexuality with a lover. Harry, your wife is slowly blossoming in front of your eyes. I’m thrilled for you and I know from our past correspondence, that you have been study how to open her.

Here’s another facet. . .
If she’s been disconnected from her pussy, get out the mirror. Turn on the lights. SHOW her what a beautiful, amazing bouquet she has between her legs.
Bring her awareness to her genitals.
She will start feeling more.
And as you peel away the layers of disconnect and start touching and kneading, rubbing, stroking and massaging her belly, thighs, mons, labia and sweet cheeks, she will start feeling even more.
As she accepts your full attention on her pleasure, she will begin to taste the sweetness herself.
No. You are not moving too fast. This is a good thing to ask, but the way to always know the answer to that is to learn the Four Keys To Seduction.
This model teaches you how to offer a your lover choices so they can pick the small, medium or large choice and you’ll know they’re at their comfort level.
You just ratchet up the offers as your husband or wife becomes more confident, more experienced, more connected sexually to themselves and to you.
I hope you find this a bit of comfort and you take in my appreciation for being on the those guys on his way to the 99% club.
What I most appreciate about you, Harry, is that you’re taking your woman there with you.
Take her to the pleasure dome.
It’s there. Waiting for you.
Love,
Susan
P.S. Rub her pussy every night and day if she’ll let you. The Expanded Orgasm strokes are the core set of strokes to engorge her.

Click here to read my advice about this question:

“It seems like nothing I do (and at least some of what I do should be working… I really think I’m doing it right) gives her that physical turn-on that comes with engorgement.”

 

P.P.S. Harry’s reply:
Susan, when I read this my eyes clouded up with tears of joy, feeling like you were talking to me, one-on-one.  Thank you, a thousand times!  Beyond all I’m learning from you, your support is priceless.   I can’t thank you enough.
Love,
Harry

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One Comment

  1. I have met several women in my life who I would call horney. One was in school with me and she always wanted my hands on her. She really enjoyed being felt up regardless of where we were. Another I met when I was in the Armed Forces in Europe. She was without a doubt the horniest I ever met. She enjoyed allowing men to undress her and fondle her. She came from a marvelous family and I’m sure her parents were very distraut with her Another woman wanted to ride to Paris with the hockey team. She was allowed,and, on the way to Paris she had sexual intercourse with every man. I cannot tell you what motivated these females but I’m quite sure if they ever got married that their husband should be on the lookout for extra marital affairs. I know that if sex doesn’t happen often enough for a normql wife that she will look for it elsewhere. I will quote the bible only once. Jesus said,”any man who divorces his wife , causes her to commit adultery” I expect that Jesus knew that women had some sort of sexual need which had to be implemented.If anyone can explain the information I gave please write it down and explain it.
    George

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