At this point, we could ALL use more romance in our lives.
But what is romance? What makes something romantic?-*
Do people have different romantic styles?
In 2012, I studied “romance” for a whole year by reading at least 30 books and papers on the subject. I did the research, talked to people, and discovered that there are five types of romance.
“Every time I look at your face, my heart skips a beat. The most intense pleasures I have ever had, I have had while looking into your beautiful eyes.”
Do people have different romantic styles?
More than a decade ago, I studied “romance” for a whole year by reading more than 30 books and countless studies and research papers on the subject. I made lists of romantic notions, ideas, and activities. As I scrutinized what makes something romantic, they naturally organized into five unique categories that humans generally agree are romantic.
I dubbed these categories “The 5 Pillars of Passion.”
“I got a sitter and a new romantic playlist… Meet me in the mini-van at 7 pm.” Then take her to In-And-Out Burger, park somewhere with a view, kiss her, feed her, and love her.
The five types of romance are:
The five types of romance are:
1. Mindfulness
2. Sensate Connection
3. Playful Adventure
4. Erotic Communication
5. Declarations
You can’t go wrong doing all five. But certain people like certain types better.
Kinesthetic people like body-based expressions of passion best. They want to move around and use their senses. Those who are auditory appreciate erotic communication, musical experiences and the like. More visually oriented partners get satisfaction from seeing romantic things such as art, nature, and other forms of beauty.
“These are once-in-a-lifetime romantic moments we are sharing. I treasure our ever-expanding relationship. You are my darling.”
Another way to assess romantic preferences is using the People Code, a technique from the book of the same name. It breaks us down into four types based on our core motivation: Power (red), Intimacy (blue), Peace (white), and Fun (yellow). People who are “yellow’s” love Playful Adventure. Reds like that hard-to-get table at the newest restaurant. Blues like playing intimate games such as “We’re Not Really Strangers.” Whites like a trip to a sound healing gathering or a couples spa day.
When you are partnered, knowing what romantic expressions please your partner the most is good. And it’s beneficial to notice what you like the best and share that with your partner. When you’re single, you can explain this to a new date. You can ask them what they like best, to get to know them.
“All the flowers in the park are in bloom. I have a bottle of wine, our camera, and a blanket. Be ready by 4 pm for a stroll in the garden, hand-in-hand.”
Guide your partner by telling them what is most important to you. Refrain from making them guess. Let them win by pleasing you easily.
Here is more detail about The 5 Pillars of Passion to trigger some pitch-perfect ideas you can arrange for your beloved.
1. Mindfulness
- Romance requires attention and intention
- Seeing life through your partner’s eyes
- Showing your sentimentally sensitive side
- Mutual self-disclosure
2. Sensate Connection
- Mutual holding
- Eye-gazing
- Affection, touch, warmth
3. Playful Adventure
- A spirit of adventure
- Spontaneity and playfulness
- An element of surprise
- Excitement
4. Erotic Communication
- Text, email, call, poetry, songs
- Pillow talk
- Playing intimacy games
5. Declarations of Love
- Rituals and traditions of your love
- Symbols and tokens of your love
- Homages to your past
“Your soulfully satisfying kissing has turned me on to a whole new level. It has grounded me even more deeply in my desire for you. It is dogging my thoughts. All of that goodness is culminating in me wanting more kissing, and it is bringing us closer.”
COMING UP WITH IDEAS
What are you interested in?
- Real-Estate? Look at open houses.
- Wine? Go wine tasting.
- Stand-up paddleboards? Take a lesson.
- Dutch-Belted Lakenvelder Cattle? Sounds like a field trip.
- Antique Hunting? Horseback Riding? Four-Wheel Driving?
Think about three things you might enjoy doing together and run her a menu offering her those three fun outings and let her choose. Then take her and romance her the whole time.
The bedroom isn’t the only place to have a good time. Dinner dates, Netflix and chill? There’s way more to the world than what we have right in front of us.
Sometimes we need to get up, get out of our comfort zones, and go explorin’.
Get my free ebook, “30 Romance Tricks That Work Like Magic” It is chock full of romantic ideas based on the 5 Pillars of Passion.
All information from Susan Bratton, Personal Life Media, The20, and our collective brands are personal opinions. The statements made within this email/website have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These statements and the products of this company are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Always seek consultation from your doctor.
