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How To Ask For What You Want In A Relationship

Here’s a nice tip to help you get along better with your partner… So you can avoid these relationship mistakes:

“He should know by now how much that upsets me.”

“Why can’t he try to figure it out? Why do I always have to tell him?”

“She can’t take a hint.”

“If he loved me, he’d know what I mean.”

Do you expect your partner to read your mind?


According to Carolyn N. Bushong, author of The 7 Dumbest Relationship Mistakes, this strategy is doomed.

It’s unfair to your partner and yourself because you will continually be angry that you don’t get what you want.

You will begin to feel like you are not loved — all because you are not communicating.

Carolyn warns that because women generally talk about their feelings more efficiently, they must give their guys time to respond instead of steamrolling over them.

Here are her suggested Four Steps To Healthy Communication.

1. Express yourself. “I feel [a specific emotion] whenever you [specify what he or she does].”  

Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ Why Treating Your Partner How You Want To Be Treated Is Making Things Worse


2. State what you want. “I want [a specific behavior].”

3. Ask for a commitment. “Will you [give me what I want – be even more specific]?”

4. Outline the consequences of your mate’s reluctance or refusal to commit themselves to change: “If not, I will [state specifically what you will do].”

If this feels like you’re issuing an ultimatum, be careful not to sound threatening. Be kind, compassionate, and even-keeled in your emotions.

It’s essential to clarify that you hold yourself and your partner accountable for their behavior. Eliminating the fear of the unknown removes significant stress between you two.

Try this and ensure you don’t miss all seven mistakes even intelligent people make to ruin their relationship.

One of my favorite things to initiate intimacy and warmth with your partner is the Soulmate Embrace. This unique way of holding your partner perfectly puts you in the mood for understanding, presence, and openness.

I’d also love for you to check out Relationship Magic. It’s one of my most foundational books on communication techniques to create love and intimacy in your relationship or re-sparking lost romance. 

Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ Why Treating Your Partner How You Want To Be Treated Is Making Things Worse 

Print this cheat sheet out:

All information from Susan Bratton, Personal Life Media, The20, and our collective brands are personal opinions. The Food and Drug Administration has not evaluated the statements made within this email/website. This company’s statements and products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease. Always seek consultation from your doctor.

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