Here are six breakthrough ideas for giving incredible oral pleasure to women.
These techniques acknowledge the female experience which may not be something you’ve thought of before, being a guy. Some of these concepts are mental and others are physical.
Knowing these six oral tricks will take your existing oral skills to a whole new level of ability, allowing her to surrender to her pleasure in a way she never has before.
These tips will make you the best oral lover she’s ever had… sparking in her a newfound love of oral — both giving and receiving.
All women can orgasm from oral. It’s simply a learned skill that gets better with practice. If you can help her believe it’s possible, she will get there faster.
All women can learn to have long, expanded orgasmic experiences receiving oral pleasure.
First, you help her achieve one orgasm. Soon she’s becoming multi-orgasmic from cunnilingus. And then over time, she can essentially be in one long orgasmic ecstasy experience from you going down on her.
You can begin by giving to her. Then you can try mutual, simultaneous oral — pleasuring each other and enjoying both the giving and receiving at the same time. Your skills build the more experience you have together.
Keep practicing and pretty soon giving and receiving at the same time may be one of your favorite things to do together. A growth mindset where you’re always learning with each other keeps your relationship energy exciting — avoiding the monotony of monogamy.
Here are the six components of having great cunnilingus together beyond just the actual licking, sucking, and probing with your tongue and mouth:
- Outside In and Inside Out
- Toggling and Peaking
- Awakening New Neural Pathways
- Sharing Favorite Frames
Many women are quite shy about showing their genitals to their partner, which makes oral feel even more intimate than intercourse.
Since arousal cannot begin without relaxation, the more you make her feel comfortable, the better she will orgasm. Find out what her concerns are by asking. Then help her overcome them.
The more she can tell you any worries, the easier it is to support her through them. When you can get her out of her worried state of mind, she can settle into her body and the sensations of pleasure.
Sex is a mindfulness practice too. Have her keep returning to the pleasurable feelings when her mind wanders.
Women rank good grooming at the top of their sexual desire list — even higher than emotional connection! The very first thing to do is make sure you are well-shaven and your fingernails are smooth and your face and hands are clean. Brush, floss, and rinse your mouth. She has to protect her vaginal microbiome, so your cleanliness will let her relax.
Next, set up the environment for her comfort. Make the room a good temperature for her. Get lots of pillows to prop her legs and head. Put her on a soft towel. Put on music that is sensually relaxing. Notice the lighting. Is it too bright? Slip on an eye mask so she has nothing to take her out of her bliss.
The more she can completely relax, the easier it is for her to feel into her orgasms. Comfort and cleanliness are key for women.
Don’t just dive into her genitals and start licking her clitoris.
That is too much for her at first. She needs to be slowly aroused with loving sweetness.
Before you go down on her, hold her and love her. Stroke her body. Kiss her eyelids, her forehead, her cheeks, her neck, and her lips. Let her feel and hear what you love about her. This makes her feel safe to open her body to you.
Once you start going down on her, lift your head up and speak to her for a second. Reassure her verbally by telling her again that you love her and that her genitals are truly beautiful and taste and smell good. This will put her at ease too.
Can you see now how much excellent oral skills actually rely on verbal and emotional reassurance?
If you’re a man of few words, just say, “I love you. I love having sex with you. I love that you allow me the honor of pleasuring you. Your genitals are beautiful to me. You smell good and taste good.”
Then begin to go down on her.
As a man, you want hands and her mouth on your penis ASAP.
But you can’t treat her like a guy. She needs you to start with hugging and stroking her body, then kissing her, then touching her breasts before you touch her vulva. You will give her better oralgasms if you start with kissing and breast pleasuring.
Take your time getting to her vulva with your mouth. A few moments of French kissing with your tongue while you stroke her nipples will trigger her vagina to start contracting. The lips and nipples are part of a system in lock with her clitoral erectile tissues. Playing with her boobs while you kiss her sends blood to the erectile tissue in her vulva. This gives her a clitoral erection even before your lips touch her genitals.
Stack the deck in your favor by kissing and breast play first. She will come better when you turn her on from the inside out.
Then when it’s time to go down on her, you use the same outside-in strategy.
Kissing her belly and inside her thighs at the beginning is languorously sexy. Then awaken her mons pubis and outer labia, then her clitoral hood and inner labia, before you ever put your tongue on her clitoris or inside her vestibule near her vaginal opening. The vestibule is inside the inner labia. The inner labia are the front door to the vestibule.
Just slow down and take pleasure in all her parts instead of thinking you have to manipulate her clitoris to make her orgasm. Immediate direct clitoral stimulation often creates performance pressure on her and wears out the sensitivity to her clitoris, shortening rather than expanding her orgasmic potential. Instead, getting blood flow to all the erectile tissue in her vulva is your goal.
Just as you feel more pleasure with a hard penis, she feels more pleasure with an erect clitoral structure. Give her the erection she needs and you’ll be rewarded with a woman who is massively orgasmic!
There are two major zones of pleasure in the vulva. One is the clitoral tip, hood, and shaft. The other is inside the vestibule or slit between the inner labia. Inside the vestibule, you can please the underside of the shaft of her erect clitoris, the part of her G-Spot that is on the face of the vestibule at her urethral exit, the opening to her vagina (which is a round muscle that loves to be teased gently) and the area between her vaginal opening and where her labia come together called the Fourchette.
Her vestibule is LOADED with locations that love to be tongued.
The concept of toggling — which means going back and forth from the clitoral area to the vestibule area helps you build more arousal throughout her entire genital area. Toggling back and forth from the clitoris to the vestibule keeps her from getting stimulation fatigue.
Moving back and forth from the tip of her clitoris to the hood and shaft alternately with stimulation of the vestibule and vaginal opening makes it feel even better when you return from one or the other.
Toggling increases her arousal and awakens more of the tissue all around her vulva, activating it to give her more intense orgasmic pleasure.
When you combine toggling between the clitoris and vestibule/vagina she climbs the arousal ladder more surely.
Now that you know about toggling, I’ll add in one more technique called peaking. Peaking is another dimension of oral excellence.
Peaking is a momentary rest from stimulation. It makes a body search for the missing stimulation.
When the body searches for pleasure, it surges natural feelings of lust and desire.
Did you ever have a woman say, “Don’t stop?” She was getting what she needed to achieve orgasm. So you keep it coming. Rhythmic stimulation gives her body what it needs to crest over into orgasm. But if you actually take a tiny pause as she’s climbing, she will come even harder once you resume.
Peaking consists of giving her rhythmic stimulation punctuated by short pauses to increase her arousal. If you think about it like, lick, lick, lick, lick, pause…. lick, lick, lick, lick, pause… Those tiny pauses make her body reach for stimulation, which increases her arousal.
Peaking is a masterful technique that only a few lovers know about. Try 8 pleasurable strokes with a pause. Then resume. This gives her body a chance to rest for a beat so you’re not driving her harder than you need to. You don’t want to overfill her pleasure cup. Pauses give her a chance to stay in an expanded orgasmic experience without feeling swamped with too much sensation.
Combine working from the outside in with peaking when she’s starting to come and she will be breathless with orgasmic ecstasy.
— Susan Bratton, “Intimacy Expert To Millions” is a champion and spokesperson for GAINSWave™️ and FemiWave™️ sexual regenerative treatments. She is a prolific creator of more than 35 books and programs on passionate lovemaking including The Blow Job Secret at ThreeLicks.com.