For our last lesson on our intimacy Checklist, we’re going to talk about a common problem in thousands of couples I’ve helped throughout the years.
We don’t know how to find out what we don’t know.
And we don’t know that there’s a multitude of things we don’t know.
We’re trapped in our little bubble, our tiny world. And we don’t know there are hundreds of different ways to kiss your lover, hundreds of ways to touch for some secret rapture, hundreds of ways to tell them you love them, and much, much more.
Sure, we know the basics. And we have TV shows and movies to teach us a few things.
But all these are just the tip of the gigantic iceberg.
The question to ask ourselves is…
What don’t we know, that we would love to know, that we might see if we started having fun and communicating in different ways?
Our society and upbringing have failed to address our real underlying needs.
We’re taught to suppress being in deep connection with our true desires. One result is that we (unconsciously) withhold words, emotions, and sensuality from ourselves and our partners.
We’re told not to be selfish. To always think about the other person.
However, if the other person feels the same way and is always blindly trying to please the other without knowing what they genuinely want…
It will all be for a lost cause.
That’s why it’s so important to ask for what you want and let your lover understand your needs and desires. This can be accomplished easier when you both have developed your love language, both verbal and non-verbal, and learning new things you’ve never thought of or even imagined before.
Always keep learning. Those who find ways to keep learning and continue practicing will discover they will continue to learn more…
And they will continue to grow more and more in their love lives and relationships.
When you both learn to adopt a beginner’s mind in these things, strip yourself of the pride and the curse of knowledge, beautiful things will be possible.
What can I learn today?
What can my partner learn today?
What new things can I show and teach my lover?
What phenomenal experiences will you have tonight?
Always be searching. Always be learning and constantly expanding in love.