Ken has some hearing loss in one ear but craved the verbal feedback from his new partner Katie. When they first started dating, he expressly requested that Katie make a lot of noise for him during sex. She had previously been almost silent behind closed doors. But she really wanted Ken to know what a great lover she was, so she made the effort to give him auditory signals that what he was doing felt great to her. It turned out that she honed her feedback skills and actually enjoyed — even got more turned on — by making sexy sounds. She says she would never go back to being quiet again. She loves the noisy sex she and Ken have. It’s taken her to new levels of sexual satisfaction to be an excellent moaner.
Ken, seeing how much being verbal added to their sexiness, started being even more expressive too. Now they are going crazy for each other, having the hottest sex of their lives for hours in the mornings.
Today’s verbal techniques are part of my Making Whoopee 3.0 series about how to have off-the-hook mutually orgasmic intercourse. Today’s technique incorporates the helpful feedback of moaning and sexy talk during sex. When you moan and convey your pleasure verbally, your partner not only knows they are making you feel incredible, and that you’re enjoying yourself… but even more importantly, your moans and verbal expression make your partner get even more turned on. You are adding more overall sexual energy into the field, which reverberates into your partner to heighten their arousal. Everyone comes more, harder and better.
There are six verbal sex techniques you can play around with before, during, and after sex:
- Focus on the effect your partner is having on you
- Say what you see
- Share how you’re feeling
- Tell a sexy story
- Moaning and verbal biofeedback
- Sharing Favorite Frames afterward
Below I lightly explain how to do these six sexy verbal techniques. Inside my free downloadable book, Dirty Talk, I give you lots of verbatim languages you can personalize for yourself.
Talk Dirty To Me
“Last night he came up behind me kissed my neck and said ‘Mmmm… I love the smell of your hair,’ in his deepest, hottest voice. My panties evaporated and I can’t thank you enough for showing us how to talk dirty without feeling weird.” — Mrs. Z.
- Pillow talk
- Sensual whispers
- Worship
- Adoration
- Devotion
- Appreciation
- Encouragement
If a woman read this list she would thrill to the idea of you speaking these kinds of thoughts during sex. But you may be “a man of few words.” It’s likely this kind of talk doesn’t come easily for you. So here are some secrets, tricks, and techniques for becoming a super sexy dirty talker.
Most people rarely want the kind of bedroom talk you hear on adult media. There’s a time and a place for the more guttural approach. But expanding your dirty talk to become more sensual improves your skills as a lover. When you speak to our minds, you are hitting the #1 sex organ, our brain.
“Two years ago dirty talk was something we didn’t even consider. But your teachings made us discover the beauty of this. When you create your own private love language there are so many benefits it brings you. It helps you learn what you are comfortable with, it keeps your partner in an excitement loop, it keeps creative juices and other juices flowing, it leads to better sex and it’s awesome foreplay. Dirty talk has been so good for our relationship”. –Mary Grace
And whether you are straight, gay or flexible in your sexual orientation, we humans are romantically wired. Yes, there is probably a moment where your partner might want you to be their daddy, talking to them like a little girl. But most of the time, lovers’ prefer encouragement over dirty talk. “Good little girls” of all persuasions still want to be adored, revered and reassured that they are sexy and desired by you.
You want to give your lover incredible pleasure. You want to be respected for your skills. You want to know you are desired and wanted so you are sure you are not overstepping or pushing yourself onto a partner.
The feminine craves encouragement and reassurance. The masculine craves respect for a job well done. Everyone wants to be adored, worshipped and desired. Few are the messages that bond you to a lover as powerfully as “I want you, and I want you to want me.” If you peel away all the words, what dirty talk is really all about is giving your lover encouragement. It’s the gold standard of dirty talk.
“You make me feel so hot and turned on right now.”
“When are you going to stop torturing me with your hotness and ride me?”
“When you get home I am going to devour your sweetness.”
“I want you to put it in me like you mean it.”
“Let’s drown in each other’s kisses tonight.”
“Come for me, baby…” “Come for me harder…” “You’re so hot…”
“You turn me on so much…” “I want you to do me…”
“I can’t wait to feel you inside me…”
“I’ve never had a lover who turns me on like you…”
“I love feeling your strength when you pound me…”
“Your fingers make my body feel so good…”
Just focus on what effect your partner has on you and say it. You don’t have to get fancy. Simplicity is still sexy.
Another technique is to say what you see. Your lover’s body in the moonlight. The strength of their thighs. The shape of their butt. Verbal appreciation for their physical appearance is also reassuring.
You can share how you’re feeling. Does your lover’s touch send shivers across your skin? Does the softness of their body feel delicious under your fingertips? Do they smell so good it turns you on even more?
Sexy stories are another kind of dirty talk that can be thrilling. Perhaps you tell a fantasy story to your partner as you’re giving them a luxurious genital massage with warm almond oil. Walk your lover through a sexy fantasy as you stroke them into orgasmic ecstasy.
Moaning is another form of aural pleasure that accelerates desire. The more you communicate your pleasure through sounds, sighs, and moans, the more your partner knows they are doing a good job. Your audible turn on turns them on. The entire date can be enhanced when partners make a commitment to verbalizing their pleasure. Even if you are not good at making noises during sex right now, you can get great at it with practice.
Whether you’re telling sexy fantasies, moaning for your lover, sharing your feelings in the moment or through Favorite Frames after a date, describing what you see happening right in front of you, or encouraging or reassuring your partner to move them toward more pleasure, there are many kinds of positive pillow talk that are not dirty at all. Devotion, respect, reverence, and more are waiting to be added to your sex life. It’s all there for the taking.
