Come With Me: Susan Bratton’s “20 Kinds of Orgasms” Challenge #1 of 15
“You may think you know how to have the most basic kind of orgasm, but there is much more pleasure available to you in a clitoral orgasm… so read on.”Susan Bratton, Intimacy Expert to Millions💋
The More Pleasurable Female Clitoral Orgasm
Imagine that every touch, every stroke, every buzz everywhere on your entire vulva could put you into an orgasmic bliss state. That instead of one climax, you could be in a peak orgasm state for minutes instead of seconds… Effortless pleasure without worrying if you will come… The tip of your clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg of pleasure available to you.
Discover how to become massively clitorally orgasmic.
🏳️🌈: The information in this article supports expression across the gender spectrum. There are only two sexes, biologically. XX and XY. Read the section that supports your physical equipment: penis or vulva.
If you haven’t yet had a clitoral orgasm, know that all orgasms are learned skills. Some people come to orgasm more easily than others, but everyone can achieve orgasm. And you can teach yourself how to orgasm. It just takes simple steps and practice. This article is not about how to have a clitoral orgasm. I cover that in other articles on this site. Use the search tool in the upper right corner to find more.
This article is about how to have an even more pleasurable clitoral orgasm: How to have more pleasure, intensity and duration of a clitoral orgasm. How to have a better orgasm. This is also not about how to have multiple, clitoral orgasms. Bookmark this index link to my “20 Kinds of Orgasms” Challenge. Multiple orgasms and Expanded Orgasm are part of the Challenge.
For now, we are setting in a foundation of exquisite pleasure that you can leverage in all of your orgasmic responses.
How To Have An Intensely Pleasurable Clitoral Orgasm
Updated facts you must know to explode your clitoral orgasm:
- A woman’s clitoris is just one of three parts of an entire network of vulvar erectile tissue that needs to be engorged (filled with blood through arousal) for you to feel all the pleasure potential that already exists within you now
- We have been misled to believe that orgasmic pleasure comes from focusing stimulation on the glans or tip of the clitoris, where the nerve endings are located
- Instead, spreading out the stimulation to the entire erectile tissue system will improve orgasmic intensity and ease of orgasm for both sexes
- A women’s clitoris and the other two structures, the urethral sponge (mistakenly called the G-Spot) and perineal sponge comprise the erectile system of pleasure⸺it’s not just the tip or glans of the clitoris on which to focus.
- Focusing only on the glans of the clitoris does not engorge all of the erectile system tissue which causes two problems: 1) the clitoris gets overly sensitive and then does not want the additional stimulation required to become multi-orgasmic and 2) leaves most of the orgasmic pleasure unfulfilled, reducing orgasmic capacity and sexual satisfaction.
- As you age your clitoris and all of your vulvar tissue atrophies, or shrinks⸺so you must actively reverse atrophy in middle age or you will have continued sensation loss for the rest of your life.
- Orgasmic pleasure is a “use it or lose it” proposition. The more orgasms you have, the better they get, the better they get, the more you want. Frequent orgasmic pleasure is one of the keys to ageless sexual satisfaction.
- Using vibrators, pulsators, sucking and tapping toys increases your orgasmic response. Toys do not “wear out” your orgasmic ability or make it hard to orgasm when you’re toyless with a partner.
“I’ll Have What She’s Having!”
Orgasms have been compared to sneezes because most people are caught in the Masters and Johnson, “Human Sexual Response Cycle” paradigm from 1996. That visual of the climb to orgasm that cliff dives afterward is over 55 years old.
You can take that peak moment and stretch it out like taffy if you know what to do. And you can make it easier to climb the peak and have more peaks. Orgasms do not need to be fleeting moments. You can come for hours. You have the capacity for long, intense orgasmic pleasure. It just takes knowing what to do and practicing. First you must understand your orgasmic operating system. There are three parts…
Vulva Anatomy: The Clitoral, Urethral and Perineal System
The vagina is surrounded by erectile tissue. Focusing only on the glans of the clitoris does not enable the clitoral arms (crura), legs (vestibular bulbs), the urethral sponge (G-Spot) or perineal sponge to fill with blood. The glans are not erectile and though they have the most nerve endings, the entire vulva, especially the clitoral shaft, hood and fourchette (bottom of the inner labia), labia, vaginal opening (introitus) and G-areas (internal and external urethral sponge locations) can be orgasmic when stimulated.
Orgasms don’t come from the glans, they come from the pleasure created by stimulating all of the vulvar erectile tissue. When this erectile tissue is flaccid, there is less surface area to generate signals of pleasure to the brain. When it’s filled with blood from arousal and stimulation, it’s engorged, “puffier” or “swollen.” Engorgement of the tissue makes the clitoral shaft erect, plumps the labia and swells the sponges. The more engorged the tissue, the more exquisite the pleasure.
Men have the benefit of “hemodynamics.” They have a suspensory ligament that lifts up their penis as the three spongy chambers of the penis fill quickly with blood. Add to that the fact that penis-owners are testosterone dominant, and they generally start out more turned on and ready to go than a woman in the same arousal period. Women’s vulvar erectile tissue fills more slowly. Think of her vulva as an english muffin with butter melting on it. It takes a while for the butter to fill in all the nooks and crannies of the muffin, just as it takes a while for the blood to seep into all the arms, legs, sponges and shaft of her erectile system. That’s why women’s arousal is a slower process.
Add to that the fact that you can see a man’s erectile status more easily. She has the same amount of erectile tissue wrapped around her vagina but only the tip of her clitoris peeks out from under the hood. Most women have never even experienced their clitoral erection, where the shaft of the clitoris gets hard like the mini-penis that it is.
Most women have erroneously been focused on stimulating the tip of the clitoris rather than the entire vulva. And they have been matching the pace of their male partner. This leads to sex that happens too fast, before she’s fully engorged, if she even has the chance to get fully engorged. Given a choice, a man would not have sex if he were flaccid. Touch feels better when he’s fully erect. This is the same for women. Stimulate her vulva to erection. Her clitoris will get an erection and her vulva will become pillowy when engorged. This creates more surface area that sends increased pleasure signals to her brain.
She Has As Much Erectile Tissue In Her Vulva As He Has In His Penis
Think of a banana. Imagine the fruit inside the skin is all erectile tissue. A man has three erectile chambers in his penis that fill rapidly with blood. She has the same amount of erectile tissue inside her vulva, but it takes longer to engorge. Proper engorgement is the key to enhanced clitoral orgasms. Knowing where to stimulate to get the vulva engorged is the key to enhancing clitoral orgasms. Here are all the parts of her erectile system. They are right under the surface of the skin.
Everything in the image above is erectile tissue except the tip of the clitoris (glans), the vaginal canal and the Bartholein’s glands. The vagina does not have glands that provide sexual lubrication. The Bartholein’s glands are thought to be anti-bacterial. Women’s vaginas are lubricated by fluid from her blood plasma seeping through the many layers of the vaginal skin called the mucosal lining. Using lubrication at any age needed is helpful, but watch for ingredients that do not pass the EWG.org non-toxic safety requirements. You can use organic, refined oils such as avocado, sweet almond and jojoba. Here are my recommendations. If you’re using condoms, use polyurethane or polypropylene instead of latex. Coconut oil is naturally antibacterial, and therefore not recommended for internal use as it may disrupt the fragile vaginal microbiome.
Women Need Blood Flow To Our Genitals As Much As Men Do
As we age, our body’s ability to send blood to the pelvis diminishes. Our body uses a gaseous molecule called Nitric Oxide to shuttle blood where we need it: Our brain when we are working, our stomach as we digest, our muscles as we exercise, and our pelvic bowl when we make love.
We produce half the nitric oxide at 50 that we did when we were 25. When women complain of low libido and think it’s their hormones, I suggest they first top up their Nitric Oxide stores to improve vaginal lubrication improve their ability to engorge to feel more intensity of sensation.
Nitric Oxide supplementation is so vital in midlife and beyond that, I’ve made a NO supplement from organic fruit and vegetables to support cognitive function, heart and organ health, the vascular system, and genital engorgement. You can take two capsules nightly and an additional two 20 minutes before lovemaking to increase your blood flow to your genital system.
Our blood flow supplement is called FLOW. You can find it on Amazon and directly from us at http://the20store.com. Use promo code SUSAN to save an additional 10%. Consider adding our daily multivitamin/mineral with methylated B-complex that includes libido botanicals called DESIRE. They work synergistically to support your arousal and desire.
“I say, use every tool in your toolbox to get yourself engorged for maximum pleasure. Manual genital massage, oral pleasuring and vibrators all help the vulva get engorged so orgasms feel better. “Susan Bratton, Intimacy Expert To Millions💋
How To Intensify Your Clitoral Orgasms
Now that you know there is all this wonderful erectile tissue sitting right under the surface of the vulva waiting to bloom with pleasure, it’s just a matter of stimulating that tissue. The more you stimulate all the tissue, the more orgasmic pleasure you will create.
I want you to get to the point where you can stroke along the edge of the inner labia as light as a butterfly kiss and she will come… Or you can have intercourse and have orgasms without even touching your clitoral glans.
Wouldn’t it be nice to have hands-free orgasmic penetration every time you make love?
Every woman can, just by engorging and enlivening this tissue.
How To Activate Your Clitoris and Erectile System
The best ways to activate your entire erectile system are by using specific tools and manual stimulation. Sex toys and Yoni (a Sanskrit Tantric sex word for sacred place) Massages are key. A woman can use the tools herself and she can give herself a massage. But it’s always preferable to have a partner help with the activation so she can relax into the sensation and guide her partner verbally.
Women who are given unlimited Yoni Massages by their partners become much more sexually confident and fulfilled. Especially when the massages are not given to get anything in return. The payoff for the effort is tenfold when there is no quid pro quo. Instead of, “I’ll do you and you do me,” consider, “I’ll do you anytime you want, offer it to you all the time and never expect anything in return.” That way she will want more massages which will encourage her sexual pleasure and increase the overall net amount of great sex you have.
The two tools I recommend are the Wand from WeVibe for strong all-over external vulva activation and the Kurve by HotOctopuss for switching on your internal sponges. Since the urethral and perineal sponges are accessed through the top and bottom of the vaginal wall, having a tool that goes inside is very helpful. The Kurve has a very soft tip and is designed as a G-Spot tool. It works equally well to activate the deeper areas of the vaginal canal to make it easier to orgasm from penetration. If you can only get one, get the Kurve as it’s internal as well as external. It has a Treble and Bass™ technology that offers buzzy and rumbly sensation, and it feels marvelous inside and out.
The best way to learn a myriad of vulva/Yoni/pussy massage techniques is to watch our Steamy Sex Ed™ Video Collection. Over 100 sensual and orgasmic massage techniques demonstrated by relatable couples will show you so many techniques you haven’t even thought of. You can put the video on and follow along with the demonstrations until you have muscle memory.
You may also want to try the Beducated Yoni Massage course.
Engorge, Enliven and Expand Your Clitoral Orgasm
The combination of frequent toy use and massages will get the tissue in the vulva responsive and orgasmic.
The more frequently you engorge all three erectile systems and the lighter you are able to stimulate and have an orgasm, the more intense your orgasms will be. Then you can begin to “ride” the climax wave and stay up in that wave longer.
I’ll teach you more about riding the wave and extending your climaxes when we get to the Expanded Orgasm technique.
For now, start with enlivening, engorging, and honing your ability to have an orgasm without even touching your clitoral glans.
Now let’s move on to the Ejaculatory Stamina Orgasm for Men.
How To Ejaculate With Stamina, Male Ejaculatory Orgasm That Lasts Longer
Most men are satisfied with one orgasm with ejaculation. Few ever explore additional orgasms. However, there are twenty kinds of orgasms a male body can experience. And in this Challenge, you can come along for the ride and try them all.
The biggest issue men have is lasting long enough. If you can get to the point where you come when you want to, and not a second sooner, we call this Ejaculatory Choice. When you can last as long as you want, you feel pleasure longer. Learning how to dial-up and down the intensity so you can keep from coming too fast is simply a learned skill… or a process of unlearning the way you’ve trained your body to ejaculate too quickly.
A very small percentage of men have “wiring” which makes them premature ejaculators. Their glans are overly sensitive and they often benefit from a small bit of botox on the glans to tone down the sensation signals to their brain. Promescent, a topical “delay spray” can also help men last longer. Other men have issues of delayed ejaculation which you can find solutions to in articles on this site. Just use the search box above.
The Most Intense Orgasm
To intensify your orgasms, first, you must be confident that when you take yourself close to orgasming, you can pull yourself back so you don’t go over the edge and ejaculate. When a guy takes himself almost to the Point Of No Return PONR, but has the technique and practice to pull back it heightens the overall pleasure he gets in his session. This is commonly called ‘edging.’
Think of your arousal as a ladder with 10 rungs. You can train yourself to accelerate and decelerate your arousal. Then as you get close to coming, you back off. There is a technique called The ME Breath which uses a combination of pelvic muscle control, breathing and a rocking thrust together that lets you speed up or slow down your orgasm and ejaculation.
Women love the rocking thrust. So you can use the ME Breath during sex after you’ve set in the muscle memory practicing it while masturbating. Not only does this lengthening of duration increase your orgasmic pleasure, it increases your partner’s pleasure too. When you don’t have to worry about coming too fast, you can be more present with your partner.
The Tuning Fork Technique for an Intense Orgasm
Imagine you are holding two tuning forks in your hand. Now strike one against the table. Hold it up next to the second fork and that one will also start vibrating. Now think about how showing your pleasure turns your partner on even more.
I know you want to give your partner the most incredible pleasure. You’d give up your own pleasure to make them have the best sex of their life with you, wouldn’t you? Most men would.
Yet if you’re holding yourself back so you don’t come too fast, you are not fully experiencing your pleasure. You are also denying your partner their pleasure potential. With a few weeks of practice, you could be moaning and signaling how great sex feels with your partner just by mastering the ME Breath. Watch this video called, The Tuning Fork Technique to learn exactly what the ME Breath is.
Having Ejaculatory Choice is a foundation of advanced sexual mastery. Showing your pleasure because you have the technique to sustain the sensations and not come too fast is what we will be building on as we go through the 20 Kinds of Male Orgasm Challenge. Start on your journey now because I have a lot of pleasure in store for you!
Bookmark this index link to my “20 Kinds of Orgasms” Challenge and try them all.