I believe there are two kinds of people. One group is intimacy-positive and open to discovering new ways of co-creating pleasure. Then there is the other group. These are people who haven’t had the good fortune of having a partner to enjoy exploration, or they have been wounded or repressed.
Women are as sensual as men. There is NO question about it.
RAW DATING WORKSHOP
Many people have written to me that they love the person they are with, but intimacy just never happens. They instigate, but it doesn’t stick. They get tired of initiating. They want to be wanted. Then intimacy wanes. People drift apart. A platonic relationship ensues. And a lot of love, touch, affection, and pleasure gets left on the table.
There’s a belief that people’s sensual desire plots along a bell curve. Some are always super intimate; others are just not ever into “cavorting” under the sheets. That seems to pan out as accurate from my experience helping millions of people over more than a decade.
So if you’re one of those on the positive side of your sexuality, how do you make sure you pick someone who matches your libido?
Check for health because libido and wellness are two sides of the same coin. If you don’t feel well, you won’t have a healthy libido. If health issues have impacted your relationship, download my Magic Pill Method free. It is a system that helps you re-establish intimacy again.
Look at them. Are they taking care of themselves? Are they groomed and well-dressed? These are signs that they value themselves and how they appear to others. Do they wear sexy clothing? This is another simple sign.
Next, you want to get a sense of the person’s attitudes. This is critical. When “making love” comes up, do they mock or scold you? Do they pretend to be disgusted? Do they use surprise emoticons? If shame creeps in early during a conversation, this person has baggage.
If a guy (typically) is at the other end of the spectrum and is too sexually aggressive in how they speak to you about intimacy, they probably overdose on porn and have lost their heart as it pertains to connecting with real women.
Another excellent clue that a person is both sex-positive and trustworthy is an early conversation around safe sex. If they have STD testing and covid safety on their mind, they are mature and capable.
When you get together, a good sign is if you naturally gravitate toward each other and the touch feels easy. People comfortable in their skin make for the best lovers. If someone is uncomfortable or shrinks from touch or is pulling at their clothes to hide their body, chances are they will never be able to relax enough to achieve real heart-connected arousal. If they verbally denigrate themselves, this is a warning flag.
If they can talk comfortably about intimacy — what they like, things that have been good for them, stuff they’ve always wanted to do — then they are more likely sex-positive.
If you’ve found someone you like and you’re considering getting intimate with, it’s fun to go through the discovery process.
How do they want to be touched? What are their fantasies? How do they imagine being with you will be? What would make them feel safe? (⇐ This is especially important to women.) How often would they like to be intimate? Do they want to try new things such as positions, role-play, dressing up in lingerie, making love in unusual places, learning new pleasuring skills, and introducing toys?
Getting a sense of their appetite for learning will give you tremendous insight into their capacity for continued sensual development. Natural curiosity and willingness to begin as beginners to learn pleasuring skills are a sure sign they are sex-positive and will continue to evolve.
The best way to support a rare gem like this is to keep offering them new things to do, try, and experience. When you make offers, think of small, medium, and large. That way, they can choose from multiple choices, the one that is “right-sized” for the relationship and their desire for more
Do you want to give each other sensual massages with body butter?
Do you want to practice giving each other erotic genital massages?
Do you want to make love outside on a blanket in the sunshine?
If you’re not great at running menus of sexual and sensual offers, our program, The Seduction Trilogy, gives you the steps to get crazy-good at it. So good your partner just keeps saying yes to everything. Menus are the key to seducing a lover. To learn more about menus for free, here is a download:
Discover How To Run Menus for Sensual Pleasure ⇒ More Sex More Often (A free ebook from the fantastic Dr. Patti Taylor)
When you get good at running menus, your lover will keep up with you. This beautiful trick ensures you deliver the intimate adventure you both need to stay sexually vital.
When you are sexually vital, you live a life of full creativity and vitality.
Remember, I also make DESIRE, a daily multivitamin/multi-mineral complex with the three most potent libido botanicals in the world. A 90-day supply cycles you through Tongkat Ali, Tribulus Terrestris, and Fenugreek. The complete B-Complex is activated to be highly-bioavailable. It is libido support for everyone across the gender spectrum. Couples can take it together. Two capsules each morning.
Stack it with FLOW, my organic blood flow supplement, and you will maximize your libido, desire, and arousal potential—just two capsules at night. Keep it by your bedside
LIBIDO VITAMINS
Thanks to Patrick James from Raw Dating Advice for the prompt on how to know if someone is good in bed. I’ll be speaking at his live men’s workshop in Phoenix, Arizona, in June. Email me if you want an invitation. We do a no-holds-barred sex talk as part of the plan.
