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The 5 Pillars of Passion

At this point, we could ALL use a little more romance in our lives.

But what is romance?

What makes something romantic?

Do people have different romantic styles?

In 2012, I studied “romance” for a whole year by reading at least 30 books and papers on the subject. I did the research… Talked to people… And I discovered that there are basically five types of romance.

Romance falls into one of five categories.

I called these categories, “The 5 Pillars of Passion.”

5 Pillars 800x 667THE 5 PILLARS OF PASSION

The five types of romance are:

  1. Mindfulness
  2. Sensate Connection
  3. Playful Adventure
  4. Erotic Communication
  5. Declarations

You can’t go wrong doing all five. But certain people like certain types better.

Kinesthetic people like the body-based expressions of passion best. Those who are auditory appreciate erotic communication. Here is a free audio interview called Love Lines from Dr. Patti, in which she and Daka Raj talk about the Open Mind system of seducing your partner based on whether they are dominantly visual, auditory, or kinesthetic.

Once you know your Open Mind states, your romance and intimacy come alive.

Another way to assess romantic preferences is by using the People Code. It breaks us down into four types based on our core motivation: Power (red), Intimacy (blue), Peace (white), and Fun (yellow). People who are “yellow’s,” according to The People Code, love Playful Adventure.

When you are partnered, it’s good to know what expressions of romance pleases your partner the most. And it’s beneficial to know what you like the best. When you’re single, you can explain this to a new date. You can ask them what they like best as a way to get to know them.

Guide your partner by telling them what is most important to you. Don’t make them guess. Let them win by pleasing you easily.

5 Keys to Passionate Relatinship

1 – Mindfulness

  • Romance requires attention and intention
  • Seeing life through your partner’s eyes
  • Showing your sentimentally sensitive side
  • Mutual self-disclosure

2- Sensate Connection

  • Mutual holding
  • Eye-gazing
  • Affection, touch, warmth

3- Playful Adventure

  • A spirit of adventure
  • Spontaneity and playfulness
  • An element of surprise
  • Excitement

4- Erotic Communication

  • Text, email, call, poetry, songs,
  • dirty/sexy talk

5- Declarations

  • Rituals and traditions of your love
  • Symbols and tokens of your love
  • Homages to your past

Couple In Picnic


From this effort, I wrote a book for men called 30 Romance Tricks That Work Like Magic. ⇐ Gift For My Fans

Too often guys forget to romance us ladies. I wanted them to understand how to easily apply the 5 Pillars of Passion so that they can romance their woman in a way that leads to physical intimacy.

There are thirty ideas in this downloadable ebook that cost little to nothing and make a ginormous impact on you and your partner’s relationship happiness.

30 Romance

I give this away free to my male fans. If you are a woman and you get this book, you will be marked as a man. You won’t get any more emails for women. So if you DO get it and you are female, please click the link below any email you get from me and change yourself back to female in my database.

Trust me. You don’t want the stuff I send to men. It won’t be as pertinent to you. I want you to stay with me for the next decade or longer, like so many already have.


You are important to me. I treasure our connection.

Personally, of all 5 Pillars of Passion, I like Playful Adventure and Sensate Connection. How about you?

One Response

  1. Oh, I agree totally with you!! I already picked the “Playful Adventure!! I am in my early 60’s and my boyfriend and I love the adventure with a playfulness mixed in and find it so much fun when we are together!! The Sensate Connection is powerful too….we just melt into each other when we hold each other but prefer to do that totally naked!! When we come together like that we both just ooooo and aaaawe with first touch contact of our bodies. And another thing ever since we first began dating (4+yrs ago) he has always not been able to prevent himself from rubbing me all over …either my back , my arms and shoulders or my thighs….and I am the same way !!! We just become so insynch with each other, so relaxed and then so desirous of each other!!! I love that you and your husband have this site and do what you do, Im sure it halps a ton of people !!

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