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Passion Playdate #11: “Fantasy Fishbowl” Lovers Game

Passion Playdates are when you and your partner set aside a specific time for passion play. You plan for (and look forward to) sensual “private” activities where you come together as beginners to learn new things together.

Think of Passion Playdates as fun “couples exercises” that grow and enrich your intimacy —physical and emotional.

This is hot monogamy at its best and it’s also great for singles who date!

Here is an intimate fantasy game and exploration tool that combines discovery and a taste of adventure.

Write some hot, fun, sassy fantasy ideas on small papers or cards and put them into a fishbowl or similar container. They don’t all have to be intimate or sensual. You can make a lot of them just fun scenarios and experiences you would like to try.

Then —taking turns —select a paper from the bowl and read it aloud.

You might experiment with reading the fantasies in different dramatic voices — shy, coy, flirtatious, outraged, zany.

You might share about how the fantasy affected you as the reader or listener; maybe play with the fantasy (by building it out round-robin style into a story and noticing what develops).

You can both indicate whether you’d consider “ever doing them.”

Let your partner know if any of these suggestions might be on the menu for tonight.

In addition to being a fun way to connect and learn, Fantasy Fishbowl is another way for you and your partner to train each other to your tastes.

Your fantasies might be about something you’d like tonight… or at some other point… or perhaps you don’t know whether you’d ever want to try it and you’re “just exploring.”

Your job as the masculine is to create this “safe container,” so that the feminine knows they can express their desires and needs safely.

You’ll be doing both of you a favor by making it completely safe for your partner to reveal their deep relationship, intimate, and sensual desires… and at times, inviting them to consider taking on new more daring personality traits.

Finally, you will also be sharing with her your own ideas for how to have fun behind closed doors, without being pushy (a strategy that may backfire and close doors that you would rather start opening).

It really is okay to ask a lover what they want!

They are hoping you will… trust me.

With your asking, you demonstrate your sincere interest in their pleasure.

Re-read that last sentence about demonstrating your sincere interest in their pleasure—you are showing that your attention is on your lover and not on your ego.

Are you getting the point of incubation? You’re generating a library or bank of turned-on experiences, and this building is fulfilled (in the imagination) in the act of sharing them.

Done properly, you will also acquire valuable information about what your partner might like.

Take advantage of these opportunities to discover what your partner does want and might want. And feel free to make suggestions too!

Some of them can come true, and some of them are a great turn on, even if they remain strictly in the realm of fantasy-land.

All this is is just a way you and your partner can grow closer together, be more heart-connected, and discover new and exciting ways to be intimate with one another.



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