People ask me all the time to tell them the, “ONE THING” that can make their sex life better.
It’s such an unfair question because everyone is in a different place and relationships mature over time to become better if you put your attention on it as you do.
But if pressed, I’d say, Passion Playdates could be the #1 way to have better passion and intimacy for almost everyone.
Passion Playdates (we often call them Sandbox Dates or Erotic Playdates) are when you and your partner set aside a specific time for passion play and sensual “private” activities where you both come in as beginners, assuming you know nothing and proceeding to learn new things and experiences together.
These are little exercises and activities you can do as a couple to expand and deepen your satisfaction and pleasure together as a couple.
Think of it as a fun “couples exercise” that grows and enriches your intimacy –physical and emotional.
Singles can even learn these Passion Playdates to be ready when they find someone they like and want to invite into their lives, or for when they find their future partner.
Now, for our Passion Playdate #1, let’s do “Sharing Frames.”
When I say frame, I mean it like a frame or border around a picture —a snapshot in time, a short time sequence, or a single moment.
For this Playdate, you and your partner will be sharing a special moment of a recent experience you had together.
What’s fun is, this is the kind of playdate you can do while driving in the car… or at dinner together. It doesn’t have to be done IN the bedroom and its sensual talk that can increase your desire for one another.
What you’re going to do is share, in as much physical and sensation-based detail as possible a moment of lovemaking where you experienced something very sublime or sensual or erotic or anything that was extra special for you.
“For example, the other day I came back from a swim and my whole body felt dry. My husband laid me down on the bed and he massaged organic coconut oil into my whole body. He started with my arms and legs, then he gave me a breast and belly massage, then he did my back and my rear end. Then he finished with a foot massage. And then I took a 2 and a half-hour afternoon nap. His hands, shimmering with oil, rubbing my entire body just felt so nurturing and sensual. I went from dry to lubricated. It felt so luxurious. And I loved that he did it just to make me feel wonderful, without expecting anything in return.”
There, I just shared a frame with you.
People truly enjoy re-living specific date experiences, and they also find they can enjoy new details they missed the first time around. You may have a different look at it than your partner, and they may be surprised at your point of view.
There are even times that when even YOU share your own frame of one of your favorite experiences together, you’ll remember new details from your subconscious mind. FUN!
These frames can be about events happening both inside and outside the sensual privacy of your bedroom. Topics can range from tame to erotic. You decide. Have lots of fun with this!
For example, you may say to your partner, “There was a time when I kissed your neck back when we were still dating, and it may be because you’re very ticklish, but you twisted your body, curled your head down, and your arms came up to touch and hold my face. And that felt very sensual and warm to me at the time.”
You may sometimes even share frames that are non-passion related, such as your partner waking up early to cook your favorite meal on your birthday, or when they volunteered to take on the housework while you get your work done.
These are all going to be very personal frames for both of you, and I know you’ll have a lot of fun sharing them with each other with the mindset of complete beginners.
This will start to grow your appreciation, respect, and love for each other, and make your relationship bloom.