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Understanding Consentual Sex

Understanding Consentual Sex

Respectful, Enthusiastic Sex

You’ll be hearing more and more about “consent” over the next few years.

So I’m going to explain a bit about it so you’ll be informed with at least a basic knowledge.

Because it’s something EVERYONE who is actively sexual should know about.

Consent is how you make sure the person you’re having sex with really wants to.


When you have consent between lovers, and if at anytime they don’t like something, they let you know straight up.

Each lover upholds each other’s requests.

Requests include things you won’t do during sex and conditions that have to be met (such as protection from pregnancy and sexually-transmitted infections).

Before you have sex with anyone, or even touch them, ask for their consent.

“Is it ok if I touch you?”

And when you do decide to have sex with someone, and that includes oral sex, fingering… anything that involves your arousal, your penis or vulva, your morals and values, you can have the, “consent talk.”


“I’m a believer in consensual sex. You’ve probably heard about “consent.” It’s about asking other people how they want to be touched by you. And with your permission, I’d like to tell you how we can communicate during sex so we are both safe and sexy. Are you open to hearing my needs, boundaries and requests for example?”

You can print this out and put a little slip of paper in your wallet.

When you get to “the talk” you can just say you saved this because it was exactly what you wanted to capture in your integrity around your sex life and how you interact with others intimately.

You get the idea.

Just use your own words.

And make sure you have a consent discussion.

Also when you have sex with someone, it’s also good to discuss your sexual history and STI protection agreements before having sex.

Here’s a video I did called, “How To Have The Safe Sex Talk.” ⇐ Watch This


While you’re watching, please click the red “Subscribe” button so you know about my new videos.

I have some juicy topics coming up including a G-Spot and Squirting Sex Toys video series.

Tim and I have been test driving the Rolls Royce of Female Ejaculation tools.

(He’s been making me squirt like crazy and it feels as good and totally different than either his fingers or his tongue!)

So watch the Safe Sex Talk so you can see how to talk to your partner about sex.

Then also include the #Consent conversation.

Knowing each other’s boundaries makes sex even more surrendered and abandoned because you don’t have to wonder what’s ok and what’s not. And when you enjoy everything on the table, it’s a sensual buffet.

Shout out to Erin Tillman, Author of The Consent Guidebook: A Practical Approach To Consensual, Respectful and Enthusiastic Interactions.

“The Consent Guidebook is a must read for sexual educators. Erin’s stories show us how the basic consent structure holds up well across a wide range of sexual scenarios. #Consent is the foundation of today’s modern sex life.” — Susan Bratton, “Trusted Hot Sex Advisor To Millions ?”

If you’re in a long term relationship, why not share your current boundaries and desires with your partner?

As we mature sexually, our desires evolve if we allow them.

Revisiting agreements and desires is fascinating.

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