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Healing Old Emotional Wounds: Insights from Mailbag

healing old emotional wounds

Have you heard that old saying, “You’re putting the cart before the horse”? 

That means doing things in the wrong order.

Over many years, I’ve been helping singles and couples improve their relationships and intimate lives. Going back to the foundation of the relationship and building on a solid base helps couples get on an upward pleasure spiral.

Take Katherine, for example. She wants a passionate relationship but talks about 22 years of piled-up resentment. Scroll down for her story and my advice.

Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ Why Treating Your Partner How You Want To Be Treated Is Making Things Worse 


Dear Susan, 

I received the email about your special sale on your Steamy Sex Ed® video collection. I’m willing to try it even though I’m not sure my marriage will make it. There is so much hurt and resentment looming over us. We’ve been married 22 years. 

What I have seen, thus far, in all the videos I was able to watch, is that they are incredible! You’re a class act, Ms. Susan Bratton! P.S. Your husband is adorable too!

Many blessings!” — Katherine (not her real name)

When you’ve been together for 22 years of hurt and resentment, no amount of passionate lovemaking will make it better.

The problem lies deeper. I’m talking about your core values. 

When a person’s core relationship values aren’t satisfied, they will seek it elsewhere or force it from their partner by acting negatively. Neither of these actions will solve the root problem.

That’s why I believe it’s better to start with the foundations of your marriage than try first to fix your intimate life. The best place to start is by doing the Relationship Magic exercise.

Doing this lets you both discover each other’s core relationship values. You’ll know what your partner truly wants, and vice versa.

You’re probably not going to end up having the same values. Don’t worry. Most couples only match on one of four values. It’s not that you have to be aligned. You must know how to treat your partner so they feel happy with you… and they need to do the same for you.

When you have a simple list of your partner’s wants and vice versa, satisfying each other’s needs is much easier. There will no longer be any guessing—no more mystery.

Relationship Magic also puts you both in a “commitment” mode. Both of you have agreed to open up and get vulnerable with each other, thus multiplying the chances of your relationship working out.

If you can get your spouse to do this worksheet with you, you will repair your marriage and return to emotionally positive intimacy 1,568% faster. It’s just a joke, but it is the first step — clarifying what you want and operating from that plan going forward. 

THEN, you can follow my heart-connected intimacy techniques on the Steamy Sex Ed® video collection and have a renaissance in your new life together.

Click Here For Relationship Magic ⇐ Why Treating Your Partner How You Want To Be Treated Is Making Things Worse

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