This is in response to a guy’s email. However, women may want to know my thoughts on how their male-bodied lovers can step up and be masculine sexual leaders in their relationships.
Does Revive Her Drive work on my (insert unique trait) wife?
That is a recurring question I get from men.
My answer will always be the same, and I repeatedly discuss this inside the Revive Her Drive coaching modules.
It’s rarely about her… it’s mostly about you and how you show up for her in her life and your relationship.
There’s a deeper problem for many troubled relationships than just a lack of sex drive. And that should be handled first before trying to revive the spark.
For example, a reader sent me an email asking, “Will Revive Her Drive work for my alcoholic wife?”
Whether or not you have a similar problem in your relationship, this will be incredibly helpful for you.
Here’s what he said (and my response) below.
Take Charge In The Bedroom ⇐ Become The Phenomenal Lover Any Woman Craves.
Revive Her Drive ⇐ Bring Back The Passion And Intimacy From Your Wife
BE THE MAN SHE CRAVES
“Thank you, Susan, for the emails and information to help me make my relationship better.
My wife and I have been going through a challenging time.
We have been married for 25 years. We came from dysfunctional families and had nasty ways of dealing with things.
We always had an intense love for each other, and our sex life was powerful and hot.
Ten years ago, we moved to MO. Several women there loved to go out and drink on Thursday nights. Unfortunately, these ladies became friends with my wife and started going out a lot.
She went wild with drinking for about 4-5 years. She admitted that she was seeking attention from other men and trying to get acceptance from them.
I confronted her about her excessive use of alcohol when she goes out. The more she drinks, the “friendlier” she gets with people.
She likes to dance, and when she starts drinking, the dancing goes from fun to seductive (concise duration) to what I see as slutty dancing.
These didn’t feel right to me to be the actions of a happily married woman.
When I found out all this, I was furious beyond anything I had ever felt in my life. I was so hurt and felt something in my heart snap!
Since then, I have started to pull away from her in my heart.
If I remove my insecurities and judgments and look at what she does through different eyes, the picture doesn’t change that much. Her behavior is what I see.
But I still love her and know we are supposed to be together. I fear that something has to happen to her to wake her up to what she does. And I believe she is an alcoholic who doesn’t see it.
So will Revive Her Drive work here? I have looked over some of the material but have yet to be in an excellent place to do it.
As I clear these up, I can enter my masculinity more and more now. I have always felt blocked by something, and I found the causes, removed them, and healed my past.
Your program is another fantastic tool for creating out-of-this-world relationships.
Thank you for listening. I am trying to find balance and health with all I have for all situations as much as possible. Thank you!
Max (not his real name).”
I am thrilled you are doing much work on yourself to heal your traumas.
It’s a lifelong process for which you will only get stronger.
There is no end. No moment of complete fix. Only the practice of healing and growth.
As for your wife, she uses alcohol to cover the pain of her past abuses.
I suggest you start going to the Al-Anon.org family group to learn what you can do to help your alcoholic wife.
Right now, she’s getting attention from outside her marriage. Once you start bringing the masculine sexual leadership INTO your sex life, her need to get it outside of your marriage will diminish… but not while she’s drinking.
For now, I suggest you focus on Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men.
That has a series of audio and videos about overcoming the grip of sexual abuse and shame and masculine sexual leadership skills that will help you make your wife feel the desirability she is seeking.
So you join Al-Anon, keep working on yourself, go through the MOL program, give her the sensual (and sexual) attention and masculine leadership she’s craving from you, get her to no more extended search for the momentary high of alcohol, and make her want YOU all over again, just like before.
And when that happens, unleash Revive Her Drive on her like crazy.
It just takes some Masculine Sexual Leadership skills to get her to see YOU and only you.
Thanks for writing to me.
Please keep me updated on your progress.