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How To Revive HIS Sex Drive

Men’s low libido explained.

“She isn’t sexually adventurous enough for me.”

When I analyzed this data, the results shocked me.

You are not going to believe what the real reasons are that men are no longer sleeping with their wives.

What I’m about to tell you is the story of how the brain’s inherent biases cause people to guess wrong about reasons why their partner is not sleeping with them.

There are as many men who suffer from diminished libido as there are women.

It’s not all tied to hormones, that’s just a small part of what might be surprising a man’s desire.

Here are the reasons men state they stopped having sex and the number in parenthesis is why women think their partner stopped having sex with them.


The first percentage is what men report as the reason why they stopped wanting sex with their woman. The second percentage (in parenthesis) is why WOMEN THINK their man stopped wanting sex with them.

It’s important to notice the difference between the two for each reason. Sometimes they are close, but sometimes they are wildly different. When they are different it means that what the woman thinks is the reason is NOT what the man says is the reason. Look closely at these fascinating results!

According to Why Men Stop Having Sex, the reasons men say they stopped are NOT most commonly because of erectile or orgasm issues.

Erectile Dysfunction 30% (39%)
Premature Ejaculation 16% (20%)
Delayed Ejaculation or Inability to Ejaculate 15% (27%)

Illness dampens a man’s vitality:

Depression 34% (57%)
Medication that Lowers Libido 21% (26%)

It’s not that these men are gay:

Gay 1% (2%)

They are not busy:

Too Busy 6% (18%)

They sometimes were not interested in sex to begin with 3%

Some are not as interested in connecting with another individual:

I prefer to masturbate, but not online 25%* (27%)
I prefer to masturbate to porn 25%* (27%)

* According to the study, these figures may overlap.

The large majority of reasons why men do not want sex have to do with their partner:

She isn’t sexually adventurous enough for me 68% (14%)

She doesn’t seem to enjoy sex 61% (10%)

I’m interested in sex but not with my wife 48% (25%)

I’m angry at her 44% (45%)

I’m bored 41% (31%)

She is depressed 40% (36%)

I no longer find her sexually attractive 32% (40%)

I am/was having an affair 20% (19%)

She is/was having an affair 9% (19%)


Men generally do want sex according to the book’s authors.

What this means is that if you have a partner who’s desire is diminished, it’s best to start talking…. and LISTENING.

“We found that ED, depression, anger, discovering a computer downloaded with pornography, or even an affair was usually not reason enough to call a divorce lawyer.”

The small population that did divorce said they were ANGRY.

“They were also more likely to identify as bored, on medication, and depressed and to believe their spouses were unfaithful. They reported slightly less sexual dysfunction, perhaps indicating that they weren’t as fearful of competing in the world of single men.”


Look at the data.

When you compare what she thinks the issues are compared to what he reveals, the big disconnect comes from these key areas:

She isn’t sexually adventurous enough for me 68% (14%)

She doesn’t seem to enjoy sex 61% (10%)

I’m interested in sex but not with my wife 48% (25%)


The same reasons women stop wanting men are rooted in boredom.

Lack of passion can be reversed.

The same steps that work in my Revive Her Drive system work for him:

  1. Get Your Polarity Back (at least in the bedroom)
  2. Return To Romance (remember why you fell in love)
  3. Re-Awaken Your Sensual Selves (get out of your heads and into your body sensations)
  4. Begin To Seduce Each Other Again (move toward pleasure together)
  5. Sexual Mastery Skills (learn new sexual techniques to get better in bed and avoid boredom)

Knowledge is power… inside and outside the bedroom.

If you are no longer attracted to your wife…. or you suspect that your husband is not longer attracted to you, you can start with LISTENING… and these steps back to passion.

This is a solvable problem.

My program Revive Her Drive is made for men who want more passionate sex with their wives. However, everything in the program goes both ways.

Reawaken Romance and Intimacy <== Revive Her Drive (Works for Him Too)

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The researchers did not take into account issues such as sexual abuse or the shame that comes from religious or familial repression. If this is your situation, an AASECT sexual therapist could provide breakthrough support for you.

17 Responses

  1. He has a small penis and only can last about 3 minutes… oral forplay for me is great for him he can’t handle it if I go down on him for more than a few minutes…now we’re not having any sex.. newlyweds of 3 months…help

    1. Oh boy. Sorry, Linda. That sucks. But premature ejaculation can be fixed. Guys can “learn” to last longer. We have a program called, “Multi Orgasmic Lover For Men.” It’s by men’s sexuality trainer, Jim Benson. There are 7 short videos averaging 5 minutes in length that show your guy how to do a body-based technique that slows down his urge to ejaculate. And they go along with a series of audio dialogs that explain HOW PE happens and what to do to reverse it.
      Not only that but 96% of the women we surveyed said they’d be delighted to support their partner through this learning process. If you learn together and support him he will have much faster results.
      Secondly, this technique, called, The ME Breath” can be used DURING lovemaking.
      Here is a link to get the program on sale. The sale is over and the date is past. So ignore the dates on the page.

      Now, for his penis size. That can also be improved. Watch this video called, Blow and Grow: Suckling Makes It Bigger. And seriously consider getting him a penis pump. Penis pumps work. They grow the tissue. And you can pump him up and play with him and make it fun.

      I’m writing a book on penis enlargement and reversal of atrophy using vacuum erection devices. This is the brand and system I recommend.


      Email me [email protected] after you purchase the pump and I’ll give you the manuscript with all the directions and details.

  2. My problem is the women just lay there with no reaction or emotions until she feels she is going to cum.Hahaha.I always asked for sex and I tired of it and told her that I don’t like sex anymore.I love to go down under but I grew tired and loose interest because of it like a one-way street!!

  3. Hi Susan.
    My boyfriend of 3 years says that he doesn’t want to have sex with me for now, that he can wait months or years. He hasn’t enjoyed sex with me for the past year because he claims that I am greedy and have a distorted view about sex with the one that you love.

    When we used to have sex, he would try to please me and it would take forever because for many years I used a vibrator to pleasure myself and the vibrator actually made me numb sex with any man wasn’t enjoyable, I felt nothing unless I used a vibrator. We spoke and I threw out my vibrators to see if anything would change. It did, after a few months I started to feel again and for awhile sex was great!

    Now I am so sensitive that it took him not even 5 minutes then I orgazum to the point where I can’t have him touch me, in pain, literally pushing him away curled up into a ball. He used to wait almost an hour and then would get upset with me because I wouldn’t touch him (his turn). Then he would go home.

    He believes it stems from my past history of being a stripper (17-40 years old) that my views of sex with men are distorted becacuse of that job. He feels my sexual needs are that of once I get off then I can’t wait for him to leave, without any thought that he too would love to be touched held and made love to. I told him that I do want to please him not because he wants it but because I want to and we tried to figure it out on our own, but we are right back were we started.

    I’m 47 and extremely sexual, I was brought up with very liberated views of sex by other dancers not my parents (they were very proody), as I mentioned I was a dancer for most of my adult life and was in the swingers lifestyle on and off for the past 10 years with men I really didn’t care about. Past experience with my history is I can turn it on and off like a light switch. Because it was a job. Now I am wondering if I am unintentionally doing it to my boyfriend and how do I stop?

    My boyfriend is 40 and brought up in the Muslim faith bor inot Iraq raised inot Holland. So he’s like a virgin eager to learn anything, I brought him (he asked so he could understand me more) to strip club to show him that (most) strippers don’t have sex wit clients. They just remove clothes and dance for money (he said that he was discusted before but understands that it’s not a brothel as he originally we were good.

    He asked me to go to a few swingers clubs because he thought that I wanted a woman (I don’t I am extremely more than happy with him) he got upset about me not wanting to share myself with a woman and claims that I went with other people in the past but for him it’s different. I explained that before I didn’t care about the men I went with, and I love him so much that it would hurt me to. So we stopped going.

    We love each other very very much. We can talk about anything. How do we get through this?

  4. Your articles are a hoot. Too bad what you write was not around in 1972. In those days, Master & Johnson ruled. I was not interested in intercourse. That drove my wife batty. No matter what she tried or said moved me. Then, in 1978, we went to a sex clinic, run by Domeena Renshaw, MD. We had homework, ala Masters & Johnson. At finish, my wife was told she had three choices:leave things as they are;get a divorce;take a lover. Things basically were unresolved. In 1992, I asked for a divorce and moved out. If RHD been available, in the 1970’s, I doubt anything positive would have come of it. I am in that 3%, not interested in sex. So, I do not see that I can be talked into intercourse.

    1. Yes, there are people who just don’t like sex. Too bad you and your wife didn’t find a way to have an open marriage so she could have your friendship and her sexuality too.

  5. I’ve tried all of your advise on my boyfriend, I’ve even sent him links of some of your certain articles to save the relationship, however he exclaimed to me eventually that since I was pregnant that put him off having sex with me because he felt freaked out at the idea of it and after i had given birth to our baby, he says that he is even more put off at having sex as the baby came out the same hole he used to once per his sick into. Or daughter is 1 and a half years old now and we have had sex once after 8 months of her birth and that was the last time that we also had sex too. So to put it bluntly in over 2 years, we have had sex 1 time. I’ve lost hope and have recently now stopped all efforts and it is obvious that he has either fallen out of love with me or is not attracted to me in that way any more.

  6. The author should ask the same of women. I’m up for almost anything in bed and the most my man can give me is 4x a week. It always has to be when we go to bed or wake up. And it’s been that way for the past 1.5 years. Boring! I’m actually going to break up with him over it and told him so last night. He rarely initiates and tells me it doesn’t matter who does. I disagree when it’s 1 person initiating the majority of the time. He thinks I should level off my sex drive for him. Are you kidding?! In 10 years menopause hits and who knows if I’ll even have a sex drive. I don’t want to waste it on a guy that wants me to sit it out for him. So we’ve had fights for the past 2 years about it. He’s 32 and I’m 44 and he just can’t keep up with me. In fact, the past 2 relationships I’ve had plus the one Im in, none of them had a high enough sex drive for me. I’m waiting for the guy who is awesome plus has a super high sex drive for me.

    1. Courtney,
      I think it’s a good idea to find your sexual match. And while you’re looking for “awesome and sexy,” you can still have safe sex with guys who may not fit every need you have for a boyfriend but you have an amazing chemistry with. Don’t hold out for perfect… Have some hot sex with hot lovers WHILE you’re manifesting your perfect man. That way you won’t squander your sex life waiting… instead you’ll gain new experiences and become an even better lover.
      Read these articles:

    1. Don’t take it personally.Your partner is suffering from limiting beliefs, shame, lack of experience, fear, illness, emotional issues… something. You need to figure out what it is and solve, fix or work around it.

      1. Margaret,
        Sometimes guys just need to be trained to love you the way you need to be loved. Remember, he may not have had any loving models in his life, nor might he have been touched or held since he was a baby. Tell your guy what you need. Give him specifics. Show him how you like things. Write it down for him. Make it as easy as possible for him to make you happy. If he’s unwilling, that’s a different story. But first, TRY to explain to him what you need to feel loved and not lonely.

  7. …Reminds me of the cause of my divorce. There’s always one side to every story, My Ex’s Side, which led to End Of Story…

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