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The Wrong Way To Stroke A Woman (And How To Get It Right)

“Dear Susan,

She found it helpful that I had done my homework and studied her anatomy. She loved Patti’s videos and thought the squirting looked fun, but she just ended up sore when we tried Tallulah’s material.

So now we’ve decided to patiently go through Dr. Patti’s program no matter how long it takes because my wife’s appreciating that I’m putting her first and being patient with her.

And you’re right, she wants to “pay me back” even though we haven’t hit the jackpot yet, but she’s very appreciative of all the thoughtfulness and effort.

I have a few questions regarding the silicone lubricant. Should she need better lubricant just for a while to guard against soreness? I think I made the mistake of doing the opening three strokes too much because she said she liked it, but then I guess it was her urethra hole that got sore. Could that be? 

Anyway, thank you very much for your help and Dr. Patti’s.” — John (not his real name) 

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For Women Who Want To Discover Squirting ⇐ Click Here To Check Out Female Liquid Orgasm

Click Here To Expand Her Orgasm Tonight ⇐ The Most Pleasurable Orgasm Women Can Experience 


Hi John,

Your questions about her vaginal soreness from the Expanded Orgasm and Female Liquid Orgasm stroking techniques will help many other guys. So I’m going to share your question in a Mailbag.

I’ll get to the soreness and what to do about it, but first, you said you are doing the “three opening strokes” from EHOT too much, and that’s what got her sore.

The three opening strokes are not meant to be repeated. That’s why they’re called “opening” strokes. You do them in a series once and then move to the bread-and-butter “DOing stroke” on her clitoris. That’s the one that prevents her from getting sore or exhausted because of how we teach you to do it.

Now that you’ve learned your way around her pussy through your anatomy study, you know that the DOing stroke goes up under the hood of her clitoris and is very gentle… like a butterfly or when you remove an eyelash from your eye.

Watch the “Stroke Techniques Workshop” and notice how to move from The Three Opening Strokes to the Continuity and The Stroke.

EHOT Module List 580


Let the goal be pleasure, not performance.

Now, why is her “urethra hole” sore?

I’m not sure if you mean her pee-hole got sore — the hole above the opening to her vagina and below her clitoris — or if you mean her vaginal opening?

Her vaginal opening is called her introitus.

It’s a sphincter.

For many women, the skin there gets irritated due to friction. And as a woman ages, her estrogen levels drop. This lack of estrogen contributes to thinning tissue – especially in her vagina – and the most right at the opening or entrance to her vagina.

I suggest you get her the

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and a prescription for vaginal estrogen. That will bolster the thinning tissue and get her vagina prepared for intercourse and fingering.


Review the Touch for Rapture ebook ⇐ Free From Dr. Patti

Review the ‘Touch For Rapture’ book again. You are fine-tuning your touch techniques at this point, and you’ll be able to get her off with barely any friction or pressure as your fingers master the strokes and she begins to awaken to the sensation.

Try the ‘Touching With Feedback’ exercise on page 22 of the Sensual Practices Workbook from EHOT.

Also, review the ‘3 Kinds of Touches’ 5-minute video tutorial.

And make sure your hands are well-aligned with her genitals. And use an emery board to file your nails smoothly after trimming them short. Also, are YOU sitting comfortably, John? Is her Yoni in a position that doesn’t cause your wrists to twist weirdly, or you to strain your body?

The DOer’s position is as important as the receiver’s.


I don’t like silicone lubricant as it’s a petroleum-based chemical. I don’t think chemicals should go onto vaginal mucous membranes – at least not mine. Tim and I prefer to refine avocado oil or organic sweet almond oil. We get ours at H&B Oil Center

You have a choice, but I’d suggest you spend more time warming her up… more time engorging her… The more blood there is in her vaginal tissue around her urethral opening and her vaginal sphincter, the less friction will bother her.

Ask yourself if you are going too fast and not warming her up as well as you could.

Re-read the section on Tumescence and Engorgement.

If you are getting her engorged enough, then the lubricating properties of the nut oils I mentioned above are all natural and usually suffice.

Avoid stroking the skin of her vaginal tissue; instead, focus your attention on massaging her subcutaneous tissue. Lower the friction and increase, as per her liking, the pressure below her skin on her body.

A DO Date does not require that you go inside her vagina. So on the days, she’s sore, just do the clitoral strokes.


So if you take the time to get her engorged, follow the DOing steps, use plenty of lube, and send your intention into her body without much skin friction. You are in a comfortable position where you can stay on her spot when you find it… the only thing left is to bring your masculine energy to the whole date.

Are you getting her turned on? Talking sexy? Moving her body around? Tell her how much you love her and how sexy she is. 

When you lead her so she can relax into your strokes… when she can ride your ride… it’s going to be incredible!

I’m so proud of you and your wife for taking on an Expanded Orgasm practice.

Yay for you!

You two will have hot sex now for the rest of your lives with this practice.

Honestly, John, it makes me feel so fulfilled to see how your passion together blossoms again.

I could cry in gratitude that our work is helping couples reignite and go deeper into more intimacy and eroticism together.

Keep me up to date on your progress, and let me know if you get stuck. 

Download “Female Liquid Orgasm” Here ⇐ Give A Woman The Most Intense Squirting Orgasm She’s Ever Had

For Women Who Want To Discover Squirting ⇐ Click Here To Check Out Female Liquid Orgasm

Click Here To Expand Her Orgasm Tonight ⇐ The Most Pleasurable Orgasm Women Can Experience 

Here’s an update from them. All is well with John and his wife.

“Susan, thank you so much for your detailed response. My wife feels well taken care of. It was her urethra opening, as far as we can tell, but it makes sense that overdoing the opening strokes was the problem. She was fine the next day. Thanks again.” — John

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One Response

  1. Nice to see this laday in good sex postion so liking and want to follow in personal experience and success in Sexual life and thank you very much for sending me again, the second mail detail dear Susanbrattan, Good Evening to you and your laidies in postions.

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