Important issue: Spouses are separated and he has an opportunity to have sex with another woman.
Should he do it?
Read my advice:
Here’s Greg’s story:
“My wife of 21 years and I are having some issues and are currently separated. We are trying to work it out but she does not want to have sex until she knows what she wants. She is the love of my life, but I am really frustrated. It has been months since we have had sex. These should be some of the best times of our lives. Our kids are older and we should be taking advantage of the opportunities we now have for great sex that we did not when we were younger.
“The reason she became distant is that with our busy lives with work, kids, she went back to school and got her nursing degree, we quit spending the quality time we needed together and grew apart. She said that I was not there emotionally and she felt like she had no one to talk to anymore.
Someone else is interested in me. My wife and I ARE separated. But I don’t know if I’m ready to get intimate with someone else as long as there is a chance to work things out with my wife.
I am a man and I have certain needs that are not being met. What do I do? I am so confused. Please help.” — Greg
It’s impossible to give you the “perfect” answer because I have almost no information, of course.
But I can tell you this:
You could gain some sexual skills by making love to another woman and learning from the experiences as long as the women you make love with know that your heart still holds an open door for your ex.
If, on those conditions, a woman would still like to enjoy her sexuality with you, then augmenting your experiences can actually improve your sex life if you get back with your wife.
It could either backfire on you and drive your wife further away if she is testing you or it could have her realize she’s jealous and doesn’t want to lose you. Or it could result in a million other potentially good, bad or ugly scenarios… as who knows how any person will respond. Sometimes the result depends on when her last meal was and how her blood sugar levels are, you know what I mean.
Here’s what I am SURE OF.
You have not been meeting your wife’s needs to the point where she no longer wants to be with you.
For many women, but not all, this frustration is centered around two big areas.
1) Not bringing enough financial stability and security into her life and
2) Not being present with her, attuned to her, emotionally connected and available for more than just sex.
The only way to find out what her issues are and how you can be the man she needs to stay with you is to do the exercise in our ebook called, Relationship Magic.
This is a simple exercise that helps you understand what she wants that she is not getting.
Then you can decide if you can provide it.
The good news is that it also helps you pinpoint what you want if you stay in the marriage with her. You can explain that physical intimacy is something that is very important for you and that you and she must rekindle that passion for you to be happy.
When you enter into a “needs” conversation, each partner can ask for what it is they truly need.
Up until now, you’ve simply been guessing or going off of a little information and with this exercise, you can get true clarity.
Because another woman is interested in you, I’d suggest you download the workbook, do the exercise yourself. Then take your ex out to dinner and ask her if she’d be willing to do it too so you know if you CAN satisfy her.
If you cannot, because she’s asking for things that you can’t provide, you two will have closure and you can move on and start having other sexual experiences.
Nonetheless, in the grand scheme of things, you can certainly masturbate for as long as it takes to be sure.
Try not to be too grumpy about the lack of sexual release. I’m pretty sure your wife is extremely disappointed in the situation and the last thing she wants to do is service your sexual needs.
Keep it all in check. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Get the book. Do the 4-page exercise and see if you can get her to do it to.
Then you will know.
Likely a lot of her behavior will become miraculously apparent when you understand what her Relationship Values truly are.
You’ll see where the disconnects occurred and you can decide if it’s in you both to “make it right.”
Email me back if you get stuck.
Thanks for trusting us enough to ask.
We do have four coaches on staff to provide one-on-one support. You will probably need it sooner than later.
Learn More About One-On-One Coaching <=== Someone Experienced To Talk To
Let me know when.
“I realize we have a lot to work out before sex is a possibility, and I will try the Relationship Magic workbook to better find out where we are at and where to go from here. And just so you know, it is not all about the physical aspect of sex or just “getting off” that I miss. I miss the close emotional connection with my wife, and to me it is the time I feel closest to her. It is truly all about the satisfaction I get making her happy and feeling like I am her man and that I am all she needs (if that makes sense). Thank you again Susan for taking the time to give some very insightful, desperately needed advice. With the little info I gave you, you really made a lot of sense.”
Relationship Magic is only $9.95 for a limited time Introductory Special Offer.
For less than ten bucks it’s high time you pinpoint your needs exactly so that your partner can give you what you most want.
Give and Get Your Needs Met <=== Download Relationship Magic Exercise NOW