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How To Overcome Your Sexual Insecurities

Hey Susan,

I’m a 21 year old senior in college and I need some advice.  For whatever reason, I have yet to really figure out how to get the attention of women…

I understand that I am fairly attractive and from research I guess I have a fairly large penis at 7.5 inches and 4.8 around.

One time I messed around with a woman and she said I was tiny. It really messed my head up. The next time I was able to woo a woman, I kept losing my erection, condom or no condom.

Rarely ever does someone say something bad about me whether its family, friends, coaches, or teachers. I guess I care about my name so much I can’t live with rejection.

My best friend’s girlfriend told me that the way I speak turns off women at school because it sounds like I’m trying to hard or I am not talking simple enough. I can’t help it, I read the dictionary as a child. I never wanted to be a dumb person, especially since I’m black. I’ve made it a personal conquest to be knowledgeable so that no one would ever doubt my intelligence, period.

But now I realize those efforts were admirable, yet a waste in successfully socializing with women.

How can I get past my social and sexual insecurities?

I am far too capable of great things to sit in the back. I just need to know how to get past myself.  I have yet to find out how to talk to women the way I want to.

Please help.

– Name Withheld.


Dear Name Withheld,

Thank you for writing. Try this. Get out of your head and connect more intimately with people in general and sexually attractive women specifically:

Be yourself.

Focus on others.

Know that vulnerabilities are appealing to others because they realize you are human with a frail ego like theirs and they actually like you MORE for being real with them.

Catch yourself every time you are behaving for what you imagine someone else expects of you.

Then RETHINK your actions and do what your heart tells you, not what you project others expect of you.

Remember, stop thinking so much and self analyzing.

Start focusing on the positive things you’re doing, like working on your degree, figuring out your life’s ambition, being loving to your friends and family, opening your heart to love.

Love yourself. Love others.

Finally, forgive and forget that girl who said your dick was small. What if she was totally intimidated by you and just mean enough to want to belittle you to make herself feel better?

You know most guys would kill for a 7” dick. Well, so would all the women out there.

So pull yourself up, mature into who you are becoming and go out and exercise your heart muscle and your penis.

Once you stop the voices in your head by focusing on positive momentum, you will be magnetically attracting women who want a good, smart man.

And enjoy this time in your life to play around with a lot of women.

Find SMART brainaic women who will respect your intelligence, not try to bring you down to their level.

One of my favorite quotes is from Janis Joplin. She says, “Don’t compromise yourself, you’re all you’ve got.”

Be yourself. Get some experience. Just do it out of love and respect.

I respect you for being smart enough to know to ask for help.

I hope I’ve helped you. Let me know how you do.

Much Love,

Warning: Don’t ever go without a condom unless you’re in a fluid-bonded, std-tested relationship. Read our Reality-Based Safe Sex Guide now because if you do what I outlined above (write it down and put it in your wallet). . .  You are about to have some great sex that just keeps getting better.

STD Testing 2

8 Responses

  1. What i don’t understood is actually how you are now not actually much
    more well-favored than you might be right now.

    You’re very intelligent. You know thus considerably in terms of this topic, produced me for
    my part consider it from a lot of varied angles.

    Its like men and women don’t seem to be involved until it is
    one thing to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your individual stuffs outstanding.
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  2. To: Name withheld it sounds complicated but its really not just be yourself. Great advice from Susan, noticed you did say you were Black So am I, find that if I don’t make my race an issue others won’t either. Just be yourself around women and let it flow naturally. Your in college enjoy and most of all when in college CAST A WIDE NET and Practice Safe Sex.

  3. I need your teaching and i am ready to clean and clear all my mental blockages and barriers viruses… so that it brings profound and lasting effect on my sex life thank you for your kindness.

  4. Dear Name Withheld,

    The thing about social and sexual insecurities is this: Everyone has them. No one is perfect. And, no one is universally liked by everyone.

    As one example: You know who Oprah Winfrey is, right? Almost everyone does. But not everyone likes her; some people do, and some don’t. Another example: How about president Barrack Obama? EVERYONE knows who he is, and I can tell you he would do the crazy happy dance if he could get 3 out of every 4 people in the USA to like him. When you think about it, most politicians are professional butt kissers. So, if the best of the best can’t make more than 50% of the population happy at any given time, why should you worry if you’re not doing any better?

    Same thing with every other celebrity. But, celebrities don’t perform for the people who don’t care for them, they perform for the ones that do. Figure out what (and who) you want in life, and target your efforts to appeal to them. If it doesn’t work, then you can make some adjustments. I would build on Susan’s comment: Be yourself, but also be your *best* self. Lots of guys are not doing this, and it doesn’t take too much work to set yourself apart from the pack. Then you’ll have plenty of options to choose from. Just don’t become someone you’re not in order to win over a particular girl, as compromising your integrity is not attractive, either.

    In the meantime, just remember some women have terrible taste in men, and it’s not your job to educate the idiots. Unless they are paying you really well, of course. 😉

  5. I have a comment for name withheld. Practise enjoying being where you are, and being in your skin. Don’t initiate verbal communication. Only acknowledge proximity to others near you. Banish all thoughts of needing contact. Do lots of smiling with your eyes, and admire the people you are with, openly. They will find you utterly charming.

    1. Charm. It goes a looooong way. Most others are energy vampires and need more energy from charming people.

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