Dear Dr. Patti,
When my wife and I do attempt to have a good sexual relationship — and this may be only once in a couple weeks because of our family situation — she may not be able to have an orgasm despite considerable stimulation.SHE BECOMES DISAPPOINTED AND FRUSTRATED
She has often said that she would rather not have sex at all than attempt to have an orgasm and fail.
Usually I could give her a clitoral orgasm orally, but now that does not seem to be successful either.
This is all the worse now because of my erectile dysfunction.
It just seems to end in frustration.
It would seem to me that we have two major problems here:
(1) her failure to have a truly satisfying orgasm and
(2) my failure to have a proper erection.
First I feel that there is not enough foreplay for her to be truly aroused or stimulated.
I would love to extend this greatly and I think there is a lot for us both to learn here, but she becomes impatient and wants penetration quickly.
Very often she will be reading a novel while I am trying to to stimulate her and arouse her, as if she is not too interested in what is going on.
And then when she is a little aroused she wants to try for orgasm also stimulating herself clitorially.
I don’t think she is really ready yet. I don’t think there is any visible engorging of blood in her vulva, as your teachings indicate that there should be.
I have tried to stimulate her G spot manually but have never been successful to give her an orgasm in this way.
She finally asks me to stop.
I think that I need to learn more about how such G Spot stimulation should be done.
She thinks, on the other hand, that she is just too old for such sexual pleasure.
If I could be successful in giving her great G Spot orgasms, even multiple orgasms, I think she would greatly appreciate this and begin to love to have sex much more often.
My problem of erectile dysfunction has not gone away. I am working on it but at this stage I am not confident that it will be totally effective.
I would appreciate your opinion on these matters.
You and your wife are perfect candidates for an Expanded Orgasm practice. I believe that once you get the hang of the stroke techniques, she will want you to come her a couple of times a week or more.
I’m so excited to introduce you to the notion of having an Expanded Orgasm practice.
It’s a practice because it’s something you do together as an intimate recreation. You as the stroker get as much, if not more, out of coming her than she gets from the orgasmic pleasure.
This extraordinary genital stroking experience with first and foremost arouse your wife in a way that she has not allowed before. Because she will finally slow down and truly receive the loving sensuality that pours from your fingers into her pussy.
Plus, because you are doing this couple’s project together, you will begin as beginners, learning together how to find her spot and get her to orgasm each time. When you two have the opportunity to connect in sensual play, as opposed to “having sex,” it takes the pressure off both of you. That pressure is a big factor in your mutual dissatisfaction.
A couple nights a week you make your little nest after the kids have gone to bed and you stroke her genitals and get them plump and feeling fine. Over time, you learn how to use the Expanded Orgasm stroke patterns to get her up onto a climactic plateau and keep her coming and coming. It’s wild. It’s fun. It’s satisfying. And it’s incredibly intimate.
Secondly, having a DO date (another word for an Expanded Orgasm stroking session) a couple times a week will finally engorge her genitals to the point where she can feel sensations that have eluded her.
If you talk to her and tell her what you are doing as you do it, she will throw that novel in the trash and be hooked on your stories of how beautiful her pussy is and how it’s changing as you stroke it.
Once you get her engorged with the strokes, your semi-erect penis will feel good inside her because her tissue will be plump.
In the near future, as you two are coming her for 5 or 10 minutes straight, she may well want to also have some G spot pressure.
You can always continue giving her a DO date and putting your finger inside her and stroking her G area as well.
She’s not involved and she’s frustrated with herself. I’m so sorry that your sex life has come to this.
It is possible to turn it around and have the best sex of your lives even in advanced ages of life.
The 21 erotic play dates inside Expand Her Orgasm Tonight break down the learning of a DOing practice into manageable and pleasurable chunks.
As you make progress and start to see her vulva twitching with orgasmic contractions from your strokes, you will both feel the satisfaction of learning a new sexual skill.
There will be some moments of sheer delight and triumph as you notice your progress.
Give Her The Best Orgasms
Expand Her Orgasm Tonight is an online program that you can download to your computer or just watch in bed together on your laptop if you have one.
The program comes with a series of videos where you watch Robert giving Camilla an Expanded Orgasm date. I narrate as the couple illustrates the strokes.
There is also a workbook that explains the practice, as well as an ebook with the 21 erotic dates so you can break down the learning process into fun dates.
In addition there are some classic video clips and audio dialogs so you can learn more. You see, this Expanded Orgasm practice has been around since the 1960’s when it was created by Victor and Susie Barranco at More University. That’s one of the methods I studied, in addition to Tantric lovemaking, which I blended into the program.
If you start now, you can do this for easily the next 30 years together. This is a practice that draws couples in their 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s. You will continue to get better and better together and it’s such a healthy way to keep your hormones and love chemicals coursing through your bodies.
Expanded Orgasm is a slow, thoughtful and sensual experience that will get your wife involved in her sex life again, confidently multi-orgasmic and fully engorged so that even when you are semi-hard, you can still penetrate her and find mutual pleasure.
The Expanded Orgasm practice is something that draws men who want to be master lovers. It’s a never-ending pleasure ride for the two of you.
If you sign up below you can get my three free Pleasure Reports: What Is Expanded Orgasm?, Peaking For Pleasure and Touching For Rapture.