We use the word “energy” frequently when talking about passionate sex and yet it’s an unfamiliar term to many men. Let me explain, in a number of ways, what sexual energy is. Once sexual energy is more tangible to you, you can deepen your emotional and spiritual as well as physical connection to your body.
A simple way to explain Sexual Energy is as a feeling you get in your body that you cannot see. You feel your sexual energy as arousal or turn-on. You can gauge your lover’s arousal by your senses.
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Cyndi Dale, author of The Subtle Body says, “Everything is made of energy: molecules, pathogens, prescription medicines, and even emotions.” Each cell pulses electrically, and the body itself emanates electromagnetic fields. The human body is a complex energetic system, composed of hundreds of energetic subsystems.” She goes on to explain that all energy vibrates. Vibration comes from amplitude and frequency.
What does this have to do with better sex?
In this context we are working with “subtle energy fields.” The Subtle Body explains that there are hundreds, if not thousands of subtle energy fields. Dale says the primary fields are the:
- Auric field
- Morphological field
- T-field (thought fields)
- L-field (subtle electrical field)
- Universal Field
- The Universal Light Field (called the “zero-point field” which consists of photons that regulate every living thing)
Even if you can’t SEE energy, it’s with us all the time. Knowing about these energetic fields can help us tune in to them more easily.
These fields inform our sensitivity to others’ feelings and our intuition. Energy is involved in everything from our brain waves, including the Theta state in which we make love to the Chakra system and the Meridian systems used in acupuncture. The body’s energy can be measured because it emits light, sound, heat, electromagnetic fields and has a gravitational field, according to Cyndi Dale.
My friend Jim Benson explains orgasmic or sexual energy as being like two tuning forks. If you tap a tuning fork and hold it next to another tuning fork, the second fork will begin to reverberate at the same frequency as the first. This happens sexually when your woman picks up on your sexual energy and gets turn on because of it.
We often write about Polarity, or the magnetic pull of the masculine/feminine. In ancient Asian sexual energy traditions such as
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Bruce Frantzis, author of Taoist Sexual Meditation: Connecting Love, Energy and Spirit says, “Sexual energy is the single most powerful, natural internal force that is readily available to a human being to foster his or her spiritual development.” A couple can reach their highest human and spiritual potentials through sexual union with Taoist energy techniques that Bruce outlines in his book.
There are three levels of Taoist sexual practice according to Bruce. To paraphrase, the first level is ordinary sex or “the way of love.” The intermediate level is sexual QiGong or “the way of energy” and the advanced level is sexual meditation or “the way of Spirit,” which Bruce calls an accelerated path to full enlightenment.
Dr. Patti’s Expanded Orgasm practice combines Kashmiri Shivist Tantric techniques into orgasmic stroking that allow a couple to advance through all three levels, achieving connection with Source, Spirit, God or The Universal Light Field – which ever you prefer to call it. It teaches you how to feel each other’s energy and connect in ONENESS. Part of the Expanded Orgasm practice includes learning how to give a woman “intentional down strokes” on her clitoris. When you can bring a woman’s energy up or down with your subtle energy systems, you can expand the length of her climax and string multiple, long climaxes together so she can lie there and come for an hour for you (once you get good at it).
What Bruce teaches in his book Taoist Sexual Meditation is how to use Qi (also called Chi, Ki, and Prana, though you can simply think of it as your “life force”) to supercharge your feelings of pleasure, connect with each other more deeply and be more attuned to one another as well as make you stronger and healthier.
Taoist Sexual Meditation: Connecting Love, Energy and Spirit
Over time, men and women who may initially be mediocre of even lousy in bed can use sexual qigong to become excellent lovers. — Bruce Frantzis
Breath, touch and looking into each other’s eyes are three of the skills you sharpen when tuning in to sexual energy. Start looking your lover in the eyes and become aware of how that makes your body feel more connected to hers. As you’re approaching orgasm, breathe deeply together and think about spreading the pleasure throughout your body, especially drawing it up from your loins to your heart and head. When you touch her, see if you can put all your desire for her into your fingers and notice if he body senses what you are doing. When you are inside her, see if she can feel the difference when you send your sexual energy through your penis and into her body. Begin to focus on feeling her, rather than thinking.
A great way to begin feeling is to practice Touch for Rapture. ⇐ Get the free eBook from Dr. Patti here.