If she’s having trouble letting go and enjoying a sexual experience with you because of any number of resistance issues, an excellent way to help her surrender to her body’s sensual potential is to lead her with words.
If she struggles to orgasm, expecting her to “let go” is a mistake. Here’s why.
For many women, it helps for her to hear what is happening, and to lead her by telling her what is about to happen.
For women who struggle to climax, talking her through the experience can help relax and turn her on.
Understand this, orgasm is your body’s way to let go of tension and recharge. So your words should be encouraging and arousing to her.
How To Talk Her Into Sensual Surrender
There are four common kinds of communication that work best on most women.
Experiment with what your woman responds to and remember, there is no such thing as failure, there is only feedback. Keep trying new things!
#1) Declarations of Love
#2) Noticing What Is
#3) Dirty Talk
#4) Leading Her
Declarations of Love
“You are my darling, my love, my life.” “Just relax and let’s carve out some time to enjoy one another.” “Let me take you into a bliss state.”
Noticing What Is
“You are getting very engorged. I can feel your clitoris getting a little hard on.” “Your breathing is getting deeper. I feel you relaxing.”
“Daddy wants you to let it all go, baby. Come for your Daddy.”
“I’m going to be touching you here baby, and this is what you’re going to feel.” “Remember how you are always glad when we are done making love and you ask me why we don’t have more sex?”
An example used by David Van Arrick in the “Sexual Sticking Points” module of Revive Her Drive is:
“I’m going to be touching you here baby, and this is what you’re going to feel. You’ll feel me massaging your G-spot. And as I massage your G-spot you’re going to notice it feels really good but you’re also going to notice a feeling almost like you have to pee. I’m going to tell you right now honey, that you don’t have to pee, you’re getting ready to ejaculate and I want you to hold that. And when you can’t hold it anymore I want you to push it out as hard as you can.”
Now just that simple little preframe takes all of the anxiety, all of the worry, all of the past negative programming she’s had regarding squirting and it puts it out of the game, because now all of the sudden you’ve shown her that you’ve been there before, you’re all about her, you know what’s going to happen and you’ve told her how to handle it. So the minute she starts to feel that pressure it validates everything you’ve just said. She’s more willing to let go, she’s more inclined to follow instructions and have the massive emotional and erotic experience that ejaculatory orgasms can give her.
Use your words to calm and lead her as her protector.
This is sexual leadership at its best.
Please comment on our blog to let others know how this worked for you.