In addition to the 3 Kinds of Sex Couples Have, there are also the 3 Sexual Mind-Sets, which are more a psychological dimension of your experience.
“The Kama Sutra discusses sixty-four coital positions plus subtle nuances of biting, scratching, and sexual noises,” says David Schnarch, PhD author of Passionate Marriage. “Taoist texts consider ‘nine styles of moving the Jade Stalk while inside the Female Crucible.'”
Once you’ve tried all the positions that interest you, the way to keep your sex life spicy in the bedroom is to embrace the 3 Sexual Mind-Sets.
The ‘3 Sexual Mind-Sets’ are…
This sexual style is like an altered state of consciousness. You tend to be particular about having a Loverspace that is dark and quiet. It may take you a while to let go of day-to-day distractions and settle in. You may not like kissing when in this state. You like to go “inside yourself” to better focus on the sensations. You like slow touch that helps you feel the sensation and instead of playing off each other in the moment, the sexual trance lover likes to take turns giving and receiving. If both partners are not aligned in a mutual trance state, the partner who is not in trance may be disconnected. If you are “gone” in trance and they are trying to have Partner Engagement sex with you an Expanded Orgasm practice can help both of you achieve this kind of trance-like orgasmic bliss very well.
This is when both partners are connected together and present with each other. The mutual pleasuring goes back and forth between you. You will look into each other’s eyes and be open to more intimate connection with your lover. You want to know, see, feel, taste and touch your partner. Simultaneous orgasm is a large component of Partner Engagement style sex. There is more kissing, more conversation and a path to “becoming ONE.” Spiritual sexuality can be evoked in this state. You can connect with your humanity and achieve that sense of connecting to the higher spirit that binds all of us together.
Acting on your fantasies is the third sexual mind-set. You create scenes together and take on roles. As you do this more often, it’s easier to try on roles that are less like you. You might want to start with something like Daddy and His Little Girl or The Naughty Librarian, French Maid, Doctor and Nurse, pretending your lover is a stranger and picking her up in a public place and taking her home and making love to her. From there you might move to a light tying-her-up scene or something that feels a little more edgy. The more you do role play, the more fun it gets. Use the Her Sexual Trainer guide to learn how to elicit each other’s fantasies in a way that is safe and productive, instead of confronting and anxiety-producing.
By learning how to enjoy all three of the psycho-sexual mind-sets, you can expand your pleasure and connection with each other. Soon you’ll be fluidly moving from one style to the next and back again during a lovemaking session. If you want to make love to a woman completely, lead her into all three styles so she feels safe and excited about maturing her sexuality with you.