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Wife Cheated On Me

Wife Cheated On Me

If you think your wife has cheated on you, first let me say I’m sorry…

And let me suggest that there might be a silver lining, even in the troubled cloud of infidelity.

Distance yourself from your hurt for a moment…

Remove your judgement about “what should be” and look at what IS…

Consider the possibility that IF your partner had an affair, they might simply have been trying to get their needs met while staying with you in your marriage.

Often, cheating is a way a partner tries a “work-around” in a sexless marriage.

Sometimes the platonic relationship into which your marriage devolved is still pleasurable enough to stay, even if your partner compromises and gets their physical needs met elsewhere.

I’m not ADVOCATING infidelity – please don’t misunderstand my intention here. I’m offering you an alternative perspective. What if your spouse did you a favor by cheating?  Why is it a favor?

If you can keep the “green eyed monster,” which is jealousy, in check, you will see that infidelity can create many openings for deepening your understanding of each other’s ever-changing needs within your partnership.

Because infidelity is both a wake up call AND a call for help.

Perhaps your partner tried to get their needs met AND stay with you.

The more you can stand for yourself in your marriage and be truthful about your needs as independent people, the more chance you have of working back to a pleasurable connection.

Another benefit of your partner’s infidelity is their additional sexual experience.

When you are with a new lover it can be exciting experiencing the fresh terrain of a new sex partner.

This excitement can be brought back to the marriage, if you are willing to learn new ways of loving.

What would it take for you to be physically intimate with your partner again?

Go deep inside yourself, disconnect from the hurt you are feeling and the judgements you are holding and answer yourself honestly.

What would it take for you to be physically intimate with your partner again?

Then share this with your partner and see if you can build a bridge back to a love relationship starting with compassion for your partner’s situation and compassion for yourself.

If your issue was a mismatched libido – you or she wanted more or less sex than the other partner – check out Revive Her Drive which is a turn-around solution for couples who used to have good sex but lost their way to each other.

Either way, standing up for yourself will improve your marriage and improve yourself in the process… with or without your partner.

It’s Not ALL About You.

With love,
Susan Bratton

6 Comments

  1. hey that is awesome. inveite her to bring her partner and you all can make out and learn from each other. Then youll have one big family and friends for life, her pussy is her’s and you are lucky to be able to shareit. it’s certainly not yurs so lighten up man!

  2. I will begin by saying my wife and I were in the lifestyle together several years where it was not unusual foe either or both of us to have other partners for recreational sex. Having sex is not the same as making love with your primary partner. We found as many other couples have found that the experience enriched our relationship as a devoted couple. We became more intimate with each other on many levels and our communication with each other became much better. I consider it a very generous act of love to encourage my wife to explore and experience more of her feminine sexuality, Honestly, I did have ambivalent feelings the first time she had sex with another man we had agreed upon but her obvious pleasure and the independent affirmation of her femininity eliminated any feelings of jealously. Her additional experience and mine enhanced our lovemaking and made us more loving as a couple. I fell in love with my wife all over again. As the previous comment suggested we later did invite friends to join us for a shared experience.

    • Thanks for the thoughtful comments. This is a very painful subject for a lot of people, so it’s good to see some helpful discussion about it!

  3. I respectfully disagree with this author or blog article on cheating and Infidelity alternative perspective ..no no no..people who cheat men and women for .what ever reason …I beleive it still lie ,fraud and deception…People are afriad to communicate to their partner and address issue. that effect their relationship or marriage..and the out coming can be devastating and even led to death….solution :way your options seek professional counsling or help…let stop lying to our partners and be truthfull..we all deserve the truth..peace

  4. I am really shocked by this article. How can anyone promote infidelity as being OK? Infidelity and unfaithfulness are the major reasons why marriages fail. Stop teaching lies, it will only make you lose credibility. Humans are not animals, morals is the major thing that make us superior to the animals and I am really alarmed at how our thinking is becoming more and more animalistic.

    • Thanks for your comment, Rex. I hope you notice that I did strongly say that I do not advocate infidelity. But it happens. And then you pick up the pieces and try to figure out what went wrong and how you can show up for each other in a better way going forward, or in many cases, you divorce. It is not my place to judge what the heart needs at that point. I am here to offer alternative perspectives.

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