Have you been hearing more about Yoni massage?
It’s catching on with the thirty-somethings. I’ve been teaching these massage techniques for decades to men in relationships who want more physical intimacy with their partners than they’ve been getting.
A Yoni is a Tantric lovemaking word for a woman’s private parts. The male equivalent is called the lingam. I like the term Yoni better than the more anatomical terms for a woman’s genitals because the intention of using the word Yoni suggests that it encompasses all of the erogenous zones of her vulval, vaginal, and urethral systems, not just one or two little spots or places.
When you want to increase the frequency of intimate moments with a reticent woman, a soft and sweet approach works better than direct offers. When you take the initiative to offer your partner unlimited Yoni massages whenever she wants them, you’re offering something very pleasurable to help her relax and remember why she adores you.
Yoni Massages are the gateway to her arousal. Her libido baseline is lower than yours because of your higher testosterone levels. She’s more responsive to being aroused than she is spontaneously desirous. That’s why foreplay is vital for women. You’ll find Yoni massages easier for women to say yes to than kissing or other forms of foreplay.
Two conditions make this arousal technique work when you initiate a Yoni massage practice into your love life.
First, make sure she knows Yoni massages are “unlimited.” She can have as many as she wants. Second, there is no “quid pro quo.” This means she never needs to feel like she has to do ANYTHING after you pleasure her.
She will never ask for one or say yes to your massage offers if she feels you use them to “get something.” The best thing that can happen in the early days of your Yoni massage practice is that you give her one, and she’s so tired she doesn’t want more. When she goes to sleep, and there are no repercussions for her not warming up to enjoy more intimacy, she starts to believe that you are willing to give her selfless acts out of love.
You are fine. You are not mad. You are just as loving and adoring as it leads to other forms of physical connection. When you do this, then she can TRUST YOU. This is HUGE.
Women don’t give themselves the time they need to warm up. They are trying to keep up with their partner who is ready to go—ultimately, you net MORE intimacy in the long run, even when she falls asleep once or twice.
Your woman is happier. Her Yoni is healthier. She’s more turned on in general. And she feels closer to you.
Yoni massage is vital because it allows her to relax and her body to become aroused, lubricated, and feel great. Massage increases blood flow. Blood flow plumps the tissue. When her erectile tissue is plump, it’s bigger and has more surface area. When you pleasure a plump Yoni, it sends more pleasure signals to your woman’s biggest pleasure organ… her brain.
The spot with 10,000 nerve endings is just the tip of the iceberg. The Yoni massage gets under the surface to the whole iceberg of pleasure tissues. Women have as much pleasure tissue as you do in your male anatomy.
You have a banana-sized amount, which is easy to imagine. Now turn the banana into a circle with a point at the top. That’s her buried treasure. It’s a lot of exquisitely sensitive tissue that never gets enough stimulation. And it’s all under the skin of the lady parts, just waiting to get plumped for pleasure.
A Yoni massage is designed for a few outcomes:
- To relax her so she can let go of her mind chatter
- To bring flow to her privates so they plump up and feel extra good
- To learn to receive and stay in pleasurable moments for longer
- To activate new neural pleasure pathways in her brain
- To enliven more tissue so no matter where you touch it feels good
- To intensify and spread her pleasure potential
- To get her not to feel like you’re trying to “get something” from her when you touch her
- To bring her heart and body more intimately closer to you more frequently
- To increase her desire for other forms of physical intimacy by reminding her body that she likes pleasure when she slows down to receive it
It’s best to set down a clean towel, get out the massage oil and make the lighting, temperature, and music excellent so she can relax. This is called “setting the loverspace.” Women need things to be clean and orderly. When you set the loverspace with all needed to settle into the experience, she will respond much better to all that comes next. Over time, as she sees you trimming your fingernails and warming up the massage oil, she will rub her legs together in anticipation.
If she needs something massaged before the Yoni massage, that’s an excellent time to check in and connect hearts. Sometimes she can’t completely relax if her feet or neck hurt. Soothe her first before putting your hands on her Yoni. Move slowly and deliberately. Don’t make any sudden movements. You want to feel in the flow.
Use pillows to support yourselves. Allow yourself to drop in and take your pleasure by giving her pleasure. You can make this Yoni massage as sensual as she’d like. Ask her what her mood and Yoni are asking for each time you settle down for a session. It changes from day to day.
This will make your partner better at asking for what feels good, increasing overall bedroom communication. Whenever she gives you feedback, say, “Thank you.” This will encourage her to keep telling you what is working and what isn’t, so you can dial in your touch, pressure, and movements to what her body wants.
Start with her thighs, groin, belly, and above her Yoni first. Work your way from the outside in, very slowly. Put a lot of emphasis on the areas under the fur, as that is where the iceberg of tissue is below the surface. Don’t go inside unless she asks you to. This is 80% a slow, languorous external massage. Ask her for feedback while sliding, tapping, kneading, and pulsing. You two will develop a rhythm together. You can also create a vocabulary of touches. If there’s something she likes, name it together. The next time, she can ask for it by name. Over time you’ll build a repertoire of techniques.
Fifteen minutes to half an hour is a reasonable timeframe for a massage. Longer, and you might get fatigued. Your comfort is a priority so she can focus on enjoying, not worrying about you. Experiment with positions that work with your body dynamics. The position my husband and I have used for twenty years is a good one. He leans against the headboard, sitting on a sturdy pillow. I lie perpendicular to him with my legs butterflied open. He puts one leg across my belly. He can use both hands, and I can rest my hand on his back and leg.
We often start conversing, but the chatter ceases as the pleasure takes me over, and I drift into bliss with him.
These are the intimate, physical moments that build your sensual connection. Yoni massage will increase her overall pleasure while bringing her closer to you. She will be more open to your touch and pleasuring when you put deposits into her pleasure bank. This is how you earn a woman’s trust, love, and desire.
Try out a Yoni massage tonight. Men will enjoy giving this to their lovers. Women will enjoy receiving this erotic and sensual kind of pleasure even more.
