This three-part series is for men to understand the female arousal system, but it’s just as crucial for women to know what WE need from our partners to have orgasmic intercourse.
When you understand the difference between the feminine operating system and yours, you have much more luck getting laid.
Why is it that your partner isn’t asking you for sex as much as you want? Why does it seem like you have to do all the initiation? Don’t let it frustrate you. Deal with what is and get great at setting up opportunities for hot sex so your partner can easily participate.
So many men get mad and feel rejected or undesired when it’s just how women are… not anything your partner is doing specifically.
Once you get into her world and realize how different her sexual operating system is from yours, you’ll know she needs YOU to start the party.
Trust me. She wants you.
She wants sex.
She loves sex.
The typical woman is simply not biologically programmed to be the sexual leader in setting up opportunities for making love. When you hone this skill and realize it has nothing to do with how desirable you are to her, you will get way more great sex together.
Understanding how different she is from you sexually will give you the empathy to meet her where she is and move her toward pleasure with you.
Here’s Tip #1: Slow Down
First, if you’re healthy, you’re horny all the time, but she’s not, and that’s normal.
Sex isn’t on her mind as often as it is on yours. You get turned on fast, whereas she takes a comparatively long time to reach your arousal levels. (About 20 minutes before intercourse will feel as good to her as it does to you.)
Moreover, she’s up in her head thinking about a million things, and you’re gunning full speed ahead like a heat-seeking moisture missile for penetration.
You can “finish” comparatively quickly during intercourse compared to her. This is because she likely hasn’t ever gotten the engorgement to the erectile tissue inside her genitals she needs to orgasm from intercourse.
This is a BIG ONE, my friend.
Slowing down to give her body time to get the blood flowing is the most critical piece of knowledge you’ll ever learn about ensuring she’s sexually satisfied.
She’s picky about the atmosphere for having sex. Dirty laundry and noisy kids keep her from surrendering to her pleasure.
She needs a lot of verbal encouragement and appreciation to know you love her before she’s interested in having sex.
If you’re scratchy or stinky, it turns her off (and you probably are a lot of the time).
She gets performance anxiety… worrying about if she will be satisfied.
She’s not sure she’s attractive because of all the images she sees in the media, to which she cannot compare herself adequately (even though you think she’s sexy as all get out). And she is the one that worries about how she smells and tastes, if she’s going to get a vaginal or urinary tract infection, or if sex will be painful to her.
Women start in that mindset, a deep hole out of which you need to help her crawl. You, as the horndog, have to become Mr. Romance.
Slow down, turn around, and come back and get her. You have to charm her verbally. She needs to know there’s no pressure, but that you’d love to hold her in your arms, and if she wants more, you are there for her.
When you hold her, she needs to be held so long that it allows her to bring up her emotions and get them out so she can relax. Arousal for her must begin in relaxation. Get her giggling and hugging you, which will form the step up the first rung of her arousal ladder.
That should be a good enough start for now. Try this out tonight. Then get back to me on how it goes. We’ll continue with the other tips next week.
There’s one more thing…
I want to meet up and hang out with you! Let’s get together at KetoCon Austin 2023.
This annual gathering is an incredible opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals seeking to optimize their health and wellness through nutrition and lifestyle.
There’s no limit to attendees. Anyone and everyone are invited!
Meet me in person from 1:50-2:30 on 4/22 on the KetoCon conference floor. I’ll have giveaways and hugs for you!
So grab your ticket… use my promo code to get a $50 discount… then reply to this email letting me know you want to hang out with me.
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— Susan Bratton, “Intimacy Expert to Millions
