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How To Stop Killing The Vibe During Hot Sex

“I always make sure she comes first.”  

That might seem like a noble thing to do. 

Making sure your woman achieves pleasure first. 

However, putting her pleasure ahead of yours is a reasonable beginner-level sexual mindset. But for genuinely phenomenal, passionate lovemaking — not just good sex — giving and receiving equal amounts of pleasure, bouncing off each other, and amplifying it is the domain of the masterful lover. 

Here’s why… 

When your ego is tied up in how great you make her feel, it creates two problems. 

When you focus on thinking and strategizing rather than being present with her, you rob her of your attention — the thing she craves most. 

Great sex is more about being than doing. When trying to create an effect, rather than interacting with her in co-creative pleasure, you accidentally generate performance anxiety for her. 

She’s secretly worrying that she will be able to achieve satisfaction because of the pressure you’re inadvertently putting on her by focusing on her pleasure. 

What makes her experience heightened full-body sensations more easily is witnessing your pleasure. She wants to know she turns you on. 

When you tell her how sexy you find her… When she can hear the pleasure you’re getting from being with her… It intensifies her pleasure.

Check out these resources on Presence. 

The Tuning Fork Technique That Triggers Her Intense Orgasms ⇐ Presence Explained

The Come Together Workshop Experience ⇐ A Presence Technique

The 87% OFF Multi-Orgasmic SALE Is ON! ⇐ Discover The ME Breath (Gives You More Stamina, Triggers A Woman’s Vaginal Orgasms, And Lets You Have Male Multiple Orgasms)


Imagine the difference between a woman who is intent on getting you off and a woman who is taking pleasure at the same time she’s pleasuring you. If she’s going through the motions of a particular style of stimulation…. If she’s watching you for signals… It’s like she’s doing a task.

Now picture the woman nearly out of her mind in orgasmic joy from being with you. She’s greedily using your tool for her pleasure. Your body makes her feel so good that she’s moaning and going wild.

Which turns you on more? Her doing you or her taking her pleasure with you?

Here’s another analogy… 

Think about a pair of tuning forks. When you hit one tuning fork against a hard object and hold it next to the other tuning fork, the second fork begins to vibrate from the sound waves. 

The second fork’s vibration is called the sympathetic vibration. This is how sexual energy works. You create more sexual energy in your woman by vibrating with your sexual energy. Your limbic systems begin to create a resonance together. This is when you feel attuned to each other. The more you feel like you’re on the same wavelength, the more she relaxes. Her body will mirror your ecstasy. 

When you ensure “she comes first,” you are inadvertently stealing her orgasmic potential pleasure at your expense! Funny how that works, huh?

But wait! There’s more… 

Here’s another facet of maximizing her orgasmic potential… 

Relaxation is the foundation for arousal. Relaxing and letting go of your goal orientation helps you both notice the pleasure during the moment.

Ultimately she will have more intense orgasms when you first calm her nervous system before taking her up the arousal ladder.  Instead of intently turning her on from the get-go, hold her in your arms and let her relax. Allow her to get any emotions off her chest. Then use full body touch to settle her before touching her erogenous zones. This is when you begin to tune into her.

When you surrender to the interaction between the two of you… When you meet her emotionally and are focused on the sensations you’re generating together, this also lowers your performance anxiety. 

You’ll have more stamina and the ability to last longer when you slow down, relax, and react in real time to the sexual pleasure dynamics. Instead of an agenda, you feel your way together… stopping, starting, hugging, laughing, stroking, kissing, loving…

I’ll leave you with a funny saying. I’m originally from Pennsylvania. The Amish say, “The hurrier you go, the behinder you get.” 

Slowing down and relaxing has a net positive effect of creating more arousal than going directly for turn-on. Take a deep breath into your heart. Look your lady love in her eyes. And beckon her to nestle in your manly arms.

So, for now, take the time to learn about Presence and how to use it in your intimate moments. It’s going to change your sex life for the better, for sure.

The Tuning Fork Technique That Triggers Her Intense Orgasms ⇐ Presence Explained

The Come Together Workshop Experience ⇐ A Presence Technique

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