I saw a hilarious video online of a reporter-in-the-street asking men if they knew where the vulva was. Only one guy knew it was in the vicinity of the female genitals but didn’t know precisely where the vulva was located.
The vulva is the anatomical term for the entire outer area of the female genitals, though it’s a term socialized to mean the whole genital system of the female body. Some women prefer the Tantric sex word, Yoni. Pronounced “yo-knee,” the term refers to the internal parts, like the vagina and 95% of the clitoral structure, and the external, including the labia, vestibule, and vaginal entrance.
Modern women want to know all the names of all the parts of their genital system. They no longer want you to call their genitals a vagina because that is merely the birth canal and place for your penis during intercourse. Women feel that you are not an informed nor up-to-date lover when you reduce their genitals to the vagina or think that the tip of the clitoris is the only sensitive part.
Imagine if a woman never touched the shaft of your penis, focusing only on the tip or glans? Imagine if she never traced her fingers lovingly over your testicles.
We ladies need you to involve all the parts of our genitals in your sexual attention. The more you pleasure our entire Yoni, the more you awaken new neural pathways in our brain, which increase our overall pleasure and expand our orgasmic potential. Some women can orgasm from being touched anywhere on their Yoni. The tip of the clitoris is the most sensitive part but not the only orgasmic part of our Yoni. As we experience more focused attention on all the genital tissue, it is easier to orgasm from all kinds of touch and stimulation.
Further, every woman can orgasm from intercourse, even without direct stimulation to the clitoral tip. The clitoris goes deep inside and wraps around our vagina. The more stimulation we get to the entire clitoral structure, the more likely we will be a woman who can easily orgasm during penetration. And you want us to orgasm from penetration because if we don’t think we can or don’t get enough stimulation and engorgement, we won’t want to keep having intercourse with you.
A woman can climax from intercourse as much as and even more than her male partner! She just has to get fully engorged to cross that ‘gasm chasm.
The “Orgasm Gap” is a term coined by Dr. Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate, that describes the difference between how easy it is for a man to climax from intercourse and how common it is for women to struggle to achieve orgasm from intercourse. I call the gap the orgasm or “‘gasm chasm.” And you can help her cross the ‘gasm chasm through Yoni massage.
Every woman can orgasm strictly from intercourse. It’s a learned skill. She has to believe it’s possible. Her belief comes from her understanding that her erectile tissue is all around her vagina, not just the tip of the clitoris above her vagina.
The orgasm gap comes from a simple lack of understanding of how important engorgement is for a woman to feel the same pleasure as her penis-owning partner. Massage and vibration before penetration with verbal encouragement during intercourse make a HUGE difference in getting her to climax while being penetrated.
A woman’s erectile tissue is like a donut wrapped around her vagina, whereas a man’s penis is like a banana down his penis. It’s the same amount of tissue that needs to get erect. She just needs to get a hard-on in her donut before being penetrated.
A penis benefits from straight lines of three erectile tissue chambers that quickly fill up with blood. A Yoni has seven erectile tissue chambers that take longer to get engorged or filled with blood. When the tissue is full of blood, it’s physically larger and has more surface area. This increased surface area sends more pleasure signals to the brain, making it easier for her to orgasm when she has a “Yoni erection.”
Is it better when you’re erect and touched or flaccid and touched? Same for us gals! This is why giving us a Yoni massage before intercourse makes penetration feel orgasmic.
Before getting most women to relax and receive a Yoni massage, they must understand why their engorgement is so essential. Then they have to feel comfortable allowing you to touch them all over their genital area. And they have to be willing for you to see what you’re doing. A woman’s genitals respond differently daily, whereas you generally like specific types of stimulation on your penis. They must be willing to guide you verbally to tell you what is feeling good and when they want a different touch or for you to concentrate on different locations.
What does all of this have in common?
Trust.
Women need to be encouraged to relax and enjoy themselves. Women need to be encouraged to allow themselves to receive. This is your number one job — encourage and relax her. Let her know you are here to please her. There is no hurry. You want to learn what feels good to her. You will build her trust over time.
Now here are some general rules for an addictive Yoni massage.
#1 Create a comfortable space for the massage: Clean towels. Organic oil. Nice lighting. A suitable temperature for her comfort. Relaxing music.
#2 Tell her you love her and how beautiful she and her Yoni are to you. Hold her and kiss her before starting.
#3 Think of her Yoni as a bullseye where her clitoral tip and opening to her vagina are the centers. Work from the outer area. Don’t start at the center. You have to warm her up slowly.
#4 Use soft touch and stroke, knead and rub all of the outer mons pubis and labia first before ever touching her external clitoris or going inside her vaginal canal. Your “goal” is to bring blood flow to her entire Yoni.
#5 Get a lot of feedback from her about what feels good. The more comfortable you make it for her to tell you what she likes and doesn’t like at the moment, the better job you’ll do.
#6 When you’re done, pat the oil off and then offer foreplay such as kissing, oral pleasuring, or anything she’d like. The Yoni massage should never be considered foreplay. If she is satisfied with the massage and doesn’t want to go further sexually, honor her body’s responses. That way, you can offer her unlimited Yoni massages. If she can have them without feeling like she has to have sex with you because you gave her a massage, she’s more likely to say yes to Yoni massages.
Ultimately, you’ll have way more sex in the long run when you give her as many Yoni massages as she wants. This kind of stimulation is what she’s been missing to be as horny as you are.
Yoni massages are the magic secret of great sex. They give her the engorgement she needs without the pressure to have sex. Removing the pressure and increasing the engorgement is the key to a super hot, turned-on woman who can orgasm from intercourse. A woman who can orgasm from intercourse is a woman who wants a lot of intercourse!
Now check out all the other life-affirming sex techniques we’ve put together for your pleasure and satisfaction.
