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“Visualizing sexual energy flow.” [Mailbag]

“You just need a different way of mastering your sexual energy.”

Harry wants advice about visualizing sexual energy. I give him that along with 12 ways to feel your sexual stamina. Scroll down.

“Dear Susan,

In July of 2020, I bought Jim Benson’s Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men course (to which you recently referred in praise of your husband’s sexual abilities). I was following along with the lessons but stalled out when I got to the point of sexual energy flow. As an engineer, I can visualize electron flow, fluid flow (air & water), and granular flow (sand & grain), but I’m at a loss at visualizing sexual energy flow. I know the human mind is mighty; I twice beat chronic pain with my mind, but I think I need a different way of thinking about sexual energy.

Please, I want a little help with my current relationship too. Interestingly, I am 79; she is 80 and a recently self-discovered nympho. She said she was never that way until we started making love several times every day, but she never comes, though she LOVES PIV.

Thank you.



Dear Harry,

Here are some ways to think about mastering your Sexual Energy, what it is, and how to feel it. Once you can distinguish your sexual energy, you can begin to play with it and manage it.

Here is a series of nine videos called, The Future of Sex that I created to give you exercises for experiencing and improving Sexual Energy that will deepen your understanding.

Click Here To Watch The Video ⇐ The Future Of Sex (Mastering Your Sexual Energy)


First, you can feel sexual energy in your body. As an engineering-type person, you may be more rational in your brain than having a robust felt sense in your body. So I will describe in many ways what this feels like so you can identify it as your first step.

The big picture with sexual energy is that it’s always available to you in your body in a way that is similar to the explosive power of your muscles. Your body can spring into sexual energy at a thought. You can build sexual energy. You can minimize or control your sexual energy if you’re too turned on. And your sexual energy is like two tuning forks — one starting and the other vibrating. When your body is resonating with sexual energy, your lover can feel this, and they get more turned on by your energy. You can watch this video, The Tuning Fork Technique, to discover how vibrational energy transfer works. 

Because you are doing the Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men program, which is seven short videos averaging 5 minutes in length, I suggest you complete watching these videos. As one of the pieces of the training to have unlimited stamina and ultimately transform your sexual energy into full-body orgasms without ejaculation, Jim Benson teaches you how to connect with your level of arousal so that you don’t ejaculate before you want to. Part of the training is to measure your arousal on a scale of 1-10, where a 10 is your “PONR” or point of no return — the moment where no matter what you do, you cannot hold back your ejaculation. This concept of PONR helps you get a felt sense of your sexual energy or arousal levels.

Then you can know when you are getting close and throttle that energy, so you last longer. But instead of thinking non-sexy thoughts to bring your sexual energy down, you learn how to use the ME Breath to do this so you can stay emotionally and sexually with your partner.

The idea is that if you can feel that arousal energy in your body, you can use The ME Breath Technique taught in this program to ultimately become a guy who can have full-body sexual energy orgasms without ejaculating and ending sex. This combination of breath, pelvic muscle control, and a relaxing hip movement to slow down your sexual energy and urge to ejaculate is what allows you can last as long as you (or she) wants you to. 

Words to describe a heightening of sexual energy include desire, arousal, horniness, lust, and turn-on. There are three modalities to sexual energy—visual, auditory, and kinesthetic( body feelings).

If you can’t tell where you are with your sex energy, you can’t begin to manage it. The feelings and sensations in your body that let you know your sexual stamina is building include:
  • Butterflies in your stomach
  • A watering mouth or eyes
  • Your penis throbs more and gets extra hard
  • A tighter sensation in your testicles and perineum
  • Tension in your body or at least in your pelvis
  • Moaning or making sounds of pleasure
  • Your eyes unfocusing or rolling up in your head
  • More micro-movements of muscles throughout your body
  • Flushing blood flow in your face, neck, and chest
  • The tip of your nose itching
  • Extra sexy thoughts going through your mind
  • Your eyes seeing your partner or the scene in your mind visually makes you feel hornier

The Taoist sex trainers (ancient sexual arts) describe sexual energy as Chi or Qi. You can build Chi through breath work demonstrated by Jim in his program. Make sure you watch that video. In another video, he shows a method called, Streaming. This relaxation movement helps remove your body’s emotional upset so you can feel more sexual energy or turn on. 

The ancient Tantric sexual gurus talk of Kundalini energy rising. This is depicted as a snake coiled at the base of your spine, and when you are highly turned on, the snake uncoils, and you get even more sexual power feelings in your body. Your pleasure becomes amplified, and your orgasmic sensation expands.

The ancient masters also talk about the Microcosmic Orbit. This is a river of arousal that cycles through your body, from your sacrum, the seat of your turn-on, up your spine and over the top of your head, and back down the front of your body to the sacrum again. In Tantric lovemaking practices, a couple can cycle this sexual energy flow through each other when they are locked in coitus, and their tongues are kissing and touching.

I love this feeling of not knowing where my partner’s body and sexual energy start and mine ends when we are locked in this microcosmic orbit together.

You can also send energy out of the top of your head to connect to all beings, and you can send energy down to the earth to ground your body. Imagine the pain is gone when you were hurting. You disrupted the signals of pain from your nerve and reprogrammed them. In this case, you are expanding the energy out of your body.


It is also possible to allow this sexual energy to flow from your body to connect to the source. The source is the energy of all consciousness. And in an Expanded Orgasm practice with a partner, this clitoral stroking technique can become a conjoined trance state, similar to meditation where the couple touches the source or God or Gaia or the energy of consciousness. That’s why another name for this practice is Orgasmic Meditation. The state of orgasmic bliss is the same brainwave state as meditation.

It is one of life’s most incredible experiences feeling that we are connected to all life energy. 

Turn-on and passion are the same as the lust for life and sexual vitality. Sexual energy makes you feel alive!

Let me know if I’ve helped you visualize this sexual energy. Try learning the ME Breath and the Chi breath so you can feel these things in your body.

And as far as your wife not yet having orgasms strictly from PIV sex, I can tell you it’s simply a learned skill. Here is a playlist of ideas to help her achieve orgasms from intercourse. And I suggest you immediately start practicing another Taoist technique that I’ve updated for the 21st century called, Thrust In Time. It’s an intercourse technique that 98 times out of 100 finally gets a woman to orgasm from intercourse.

Click Here To Thrust In Time ⇐ Ancient Taoist Thrusting Technique To Bring Women To Orgasm From Intercourse (Mastering Your Sexual Energy)

After you’ve watched the videos, practiced the ME Breath, and tried Thrust in Time, you may also want to begin an Expanded Orgasm practice with your partner. If you have time for sex every day, you have time to learn this incredible technique. The technique helped me bridge the orgasm gap and start having orgasms from intercourse.

Report back, and thank you for asking. Especially thank you for being 79/80 and representing ageless sexual exploration. You make my heart happy.

mastering your sexual energy

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