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Asking For Changes (Passion Playdates #7)

Passion Playdates are when you and your partner set aside a specific time for passion play. You plan for (and look forward to) sensual “private” activities where you come together as beginners to learn new things together. 

Think of Passion Playdates as fun “couples’ sexercises” that grow and enrich your intimacy — physical and emotional.

This is hot monogamy at its best, and it’s also great for singles who date!

Remember our last Passion Playdate all about “Touching For Feedback?” 

This next one plays well after that and is called “Asking For Changes.” 

One person asks the other for changes regarding how they touch, kiss, hug, speak, or anything else they feel is essential in their relationship. 

Most of the time, we don’t want to ask our partners to change how they’re doing because we don’t want to hurt their feelings. Or, when we do ask for changes, the other party doesn’t receive the request or doesn’t implement them. 

This Passion Playdate ensures an open communication method for both partners to give and receive requests for changes. 

Again, I will use the terms “Giver” for the one giving the pleasure and “Receiver” for the one receiving it. Both roles can be switched as often as you want. 

Here’s what you and your partner should do. 

GIVER ASKS THE RECEIVER 

The Giver (for example, the masculine) asks the receiver if she would like small changes in the amount of pressure he is giving her when they hug. 

Start with easy-to-answer and straightforward questions. The simpler, the better. Because then it would be much easier to apply. 

Here’s a basic formula I love to use: 

“Would you like me to use more (or less) X?”

X can be speed, pressure, intensity, friction, frequency, or anything you want to talk about. Your partner should simply say yes or no to the answer. Then the Giver says “thank you” as a confirmation they received and understood the Receiver’s response. 

THE RECEIVER ASKS THE GIVER 

Now it’s time for the receiver of the pleasure to do the asking. 

They ask:

“Would you use more (or less) of x?” 

X can be pressure, speed, intensity, friction, and other details. The receiver can also ask to move the pleasure point to the right, left, lower, or higher. 

The giver then says, “Thank you,” and implements the message. 

Then the receiver says, “Thank you. That felt good,” or “mmmm, that’s nice.” 

Remember, keep these requests small and easy to start. Then as you both get used to doing this Passion Playdate, gradually move your way up. 

This paves the way to a more responsive feedback loop for partners and ensures both of you have a chance to give, receive, and ask for any changes you want to improve your relationship and intimate life. 

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