Sometimes the feminine just wants to be taken. Sometimes she enjoys a good pounding.
Romance novels abound with lusty wenches being taken by scalawags. Sometimes she wants you to tell her what to do and when to do it in the bedroom. She wants to get out of her head and into her body. She wants to hand over the wheel to you. She wants you to hold the vision for a great sex date. Just like you, she wants to know she is desired. You know how sometimes you want to lie back and let her take her pleasure on your tool? She often wants the same from you. Then there are other times where you both meet in the merging of bodies and souls… where you play off each other’s desire, cycling it upward into more passion.
All three of these scenarios offer great sex: she runs the game, you run the game, or you both co-create the experience in real-time.
RAVISHING EACH OTHER
Polarity means two things that are magnetically attracting each other. Masculine and feminine are opposites that attract. You take the lead and allow her to surrender to you in the bedroom, which establishes polarity and increases your masculinity. You provide the vision and strategy for the lovemaking date. She must trust that you are always moving in her best interest. Show her that you always make sure she is safe and taken care of during intimacy. Trust is the foundation on which she can surrender to her pleasure.
It’s a gift to her when you show up in your complete masculinity. Some of the attributes of polarity you can invoke include:
“You are my woman, and I want to give you incredible pleasure. I love and adore you, and I’m going to show you how much.”
This can include grasping the hair at the nape of her neck or even holding her down by her neck. (However, you don’t want to choke her or reduce her airway. Grip on the left and right side of her neck with your fingers and thumbs, leaving the soft web of your hand lightly touching the front of her neck. You’re going for a hold, not a chokehold. Think “security,” not roughness.)
“Put on this lingerie and these sexy heels now and dance a little for me.”
“Let go, baby. I’ve got you. I’m going to make you feel so good.”
“Your body turns me on so much. Those long legs of yours get me instantly aroused.”
“Relax and feel how good it feels when I do this to you. You don’t have to do anything but feel good for me right now.”
ROLE-PLAY
When you start dominating her and running the bedroom game entirely, you may have to pretend you’re doing role play. Many men have shied away from being dominant because they are afraid to cross a line they can’t pin down. They never want to upset a woman. That’s why you must start with trust. She needs to know you won’t do anything to hurt her in any way. You may need to pretend “as if” you’ve done this domination-type behavior before. Stay in your role. You won’t pull this off if you act awkward or lack confidence.
Many easy-going, mild-mannered men show up as confident lions behind closed doors. You don’t need to act like a goon or an Alpha male. True masculinity is simply the self-confidence to handle control and anything that happens. Over time, as you practice holding the entire vision for a lovemaking scene, she will also be able to let go more and more into your suggestions.
Like all sexual skills, they are learned through practice. The best lovers are the ones who keep trying new things and getting better at them over time. Being a masculine sexual leader is a skill nearly all women secretly pray their lovers will embody. The more you are in charge and handling things, the more we as women can relax and start orgasming.
Think through what you will do before you bring it up to your woman. Visualization is one of the secrets to great athletes. And sex is an athletic endeavor. It takes vision, stamina, and skill, just like any great sport. It’s a body/mind/spirit experience if you cultivate it as such. Once you have a basic plan — which of course, you can adjust during the incident — tell your woman about it. Walk her verbally through the dominant sex date as a fantasy while you’re giving her a sensual massage. Get her feedback and buy-in. Let her know you want to do this with her and let her digest your ideas.
Next, set a date night where you will practice your polarity. Then as time leads up to the date, start teasing and tormenting her.
“I’m going to have my way with you and make you come so hard on Thursday night. I can’t wait to get my hands on you. Are you going to be my good little girl and do everything I say?”
After the date, get feedback from your lady. Have her use a technique I call Sharing Favorite Frames. Frames are snapshots of moments from a date where you share your favorite part. It’s insightful to see what you did that thrilled her the most. What she liked best will surprise you. Take notes and include those things the next time you make love. Share back the moments you got turned on by the polarity too.
Ravishing her has binding energy to it. It’s calm and controlled and in charge. But it’s also passionate. When you ravish her, you are hungry for her. You desire her badly. She can feel your desire for her. This lust is what you want to convey with your words and actions. Ravishing her with your masculine sexual leadership is a thrilling adventure you create together.
I can also show you how to turn the tables and take control with her Dominate Him Tonight program if you’re the woman.
