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Supreme, heart-connected sex is a process… (Mailbag)

Many women email me about their struggles to get back into an intimate state of physicality and mind. 

They may have had a negative sexual experience with a past lover. Maybe she’s even gone through some sexual trauma. 

Or they’ve lost intimacy with their partner for so long, and now that they’re trying to come back into it, the whole thing seems too hard. 

Please, don’t RUSH back into intimacy. It’s a process, just like lovemaking. 

It shouldn’t be a quickie unless all you want is a quickie. 

There are small steps women can take to ease their bodies and minds into a more aroused, sexually open, and adventurous state. 

Here’s a beautiful email from a fan who’s gone through that same struggle.

Check out her email below.

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I am 74. I have had two partners. I married my first love in the late sixties—the ‘free sex’ time.  But due to fear of getting pregnant, I stayed a virgin until I got married. Around twenty years into our marriage, my husband strayed. 

For many reasons, mostly fear, we stayed together. We were ‘married’ for almost five decades, 47 years! 

After he died, I wanted and prayed to know love. Little did I know that an acquaintance slowly became a friend, a helper, and became my lover over two years. He is much younger—younger than my youngest son.

As you’ve always said in your articles, the key is communication. 

Sex with my late husband was based on his needs. Now I was with someone who wanted to please me. However, full sexual penetration took months.  But it was so worth it!

Initially, his penis was only on the outside of my vagina.  And then just his penis tip.  Always slow.  Looking back, it created the perfect setting for growing intimacy.

To connect, we had to discuss what was or wasn’t working. Talk, or sometimes laugh.  It was the perfect storm to create intimacy!

I was enjoying the journey, exploring each other and being connected. I was having fun and giving and receiving pleasure. My love initially took me out of what I could not do and into enjoying the moment.

Looking back, it was an incredible exploratory journey. I experienced firsthand my lover’s patience and caring for me. The intimacy created as we confronted over 30 years of neglect is something that I could never have imagined.

After having full penetrative sex, I would exclaim, ‘You make me so wet. Once, after exquisite sex at the edge of the bed, I created a puddle. And my head was so foggy. Unlike I had felt before.

It dawned on us that I had been ejaculating! It was ejaculation. We still chuckle when it happens. 

Please continue to let people know that the journey toward sexual health is worth it.  

Recently, I began self-love almost daily to increase circulation and wetness.  With plenty of lube, first with one finger. Then two. Then toys.  I bought a dildo, but it was too big and too hard. 

Slowly, vaginal tissues responded. 

You help so many people have more pleasure in their lives.  

Blessings to you for all you do for so many.” — Stella (not her real name) 


I just love this story. Thank you so very much. It will give others hope.

I am working on getting my health back.

It’s a process, but one that pays great dividends in joy.

Much love, and thank you for making my day.

Stella wanted to share her story that as long as you keep pushing forward, even if the progress is slow, working on your sexual health will be worth it. 

Here are some suggestions if you find yourself in a similar situation as Stella, needing better circulation and wetness for lovemaking. 

FLOW is our Nitric Oxide supplement made from organic fruits and vegetables. We formulated this to help promote healthy blood circulation.

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One Response

  1. What a surprise to read my email to you. It has been about 2+ years since I wrote the email. I will be 77 in 2 months. We still are broadening our sexual boundaries. It is such a physical and emotional high.
    Last week we tried ‘grapefruiting’.
    He always enjoys anything I do with his penis- but he said it was not worth the fuss Maybe I messed it up because we talked about it before. I didn’t want to just do it without asking. Since communication is such a foundation for us.
    But it was fun. We laughed a lot.
    And chuckle at the memory.
    A private joke.
    I marvel at the 4 decades difference in our ages. But feel blessed to experience Love and intimacy at this stage of life.
    A few weeks ago, after making love, I was telling him I never stop being amazed at how easy it is to get ‘wet’ thinking about him. And how erotic it is to experience the copious amounts of saliva my body produces now. It never happened before. Did 3 decades of celibacy give my body a rest?
    Was it just waiting for him?
    Thanks to a comment by you sometime I bought a Liberator
    ‘sheet’. So necessary!
    We love it so much I bought a second one, in a different color ,
    to always have a fresh one, and change in mood with the dramatic colors.
    I will close again with gratitude to you for all you do for sooooo many.
    You will never know the thousands of lives you have touched, and improved with you refreshing, loving sharing of your journey.
    Abundant appreciation.

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