Welcome to Part 9 of my Romance Challenge Series.
Each week I’m dropping one of my road-tested Romance Tricks That Work Like Magic to add a dash of zing to your love life. Practice this tip on friends with minor adjustments if you’re solo, so it’s less intimate but still loving. Your friends want to be actively loved by you too.
Romance Trick #9: Sharing Frames
One effective technique to continually expand the passion in your relationship is Frame Sharing. Frames allow your partner to understand what it’s like for you when the two of you are together.
Because we all enjoy hearing and talking about special moments, this is a particularly powerful romantic experience for your lover.
Here’s how to share Favorite Frames with your significant other.
The Favorite Frames technique expands and deepens your experience together, making it an even more meaningful memory.
I like to share favorite frames after being intimate so my partner can take even more pleasure in experiencing my experience as I tell him about it.
But you can do this anytime and anywhere.
People find they enjoy reliving specific date experiences, and also they find they enjoy new details they missed at the time.
You might think this happens only when you hear your partner’s frames, but I think you’ll find that when you share a frame, you will recall something you missed at the time.
Talk about your experience during (if appropriate), and afterwards in a specific way:
Each of you shares one specific frame (or snapshot in time) of the experience that relates to something you felt in your body, that you really enjoyed.
For example, John might say, “Sue, when I hugged you more tightly as we kissed, I noticed you relaxing and letting go. I felt a warm rush of energy and love for you.”
And then Sue might say, “John, when you took me in your arms, I felt my whole body sink down to a new level of letting go and opening up, and this rush of sensation came up through my pelvis, that then shot right up into my belly, like white-hot heat.”
You can share frames about the following sorts of details:
- How the room looked or felt
- The music you liked and its effect on you
- Specifics about your partner’s appearance that pleased you
- And your experiences during the physical and communication components of the date
At other times, you may find it fun to share frames around non-date moments, such as how delighted you were when he fixed your computer or how much you enjoyed being surprised when she cooked your favorite dinner — and even cleaned up afterward.
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