When starting a relationship, how do you approach sex if someone wants to take it slow and the other is ready? Is there a way to talk about this and not end a relationship over it? Learn about sexy intimacy.
When one partner is ready for sex and the other isn’t, you move at the pace of the slower person. Expanding your view of “sex” also increases intimacy and improves connection. When sex doesn’t just mean intercourse and becomes more inclusive, this also takes the pressure off.
There are many ways to enjoy physical pleasure, including:
- Holding hands
- Stroking or brushing one another’s hair
- Head massage, Face massage, Foot massage, Body massage
- Telling each other what you admire and appreciate about one another
- Holding each other in a long hug, I call my Soulmate Embrace
- Enjoying nature through a picnic, a bike ride, a hike, or a boating experience
- Dancing, contact improve or partnered yoga
- A guided tour of each other’s genitals
- Manual genital massage
- Playing with toys such as vibrators and womanizers, vibrating penis rings, and other pleasure tools.
All of the above activities are very safe concerning STIs. It’s only when you get to mouth-on-genital or genital-to-genital touch that you need to have the Safe Sex Talk.
Check Out This Video About It ⇐ How To Have The Safe Sex Talk
Because women bear the burden of conception and are more susceptible to issues with STI’s, it’s essential to have the Safe Sex Talk early in a possible sexual relationship. Easing her fears about unwanted pregnancies and infections will allow her to want more than just a touch from a partner.
Find out what conditions need to be met for the slower partner to be ready. Each individual has a different list of things that need to be in place before they are comfortable moving forward into physical intimacy.
You cannot guess what the issues are holding a person back from sex. It could be a specific amount of time to get to know one another. Meeting each other’s friends or families, not wanting to have intercourse before marriage, being a virgin, and enjoying the first time to be very special and not feeling the chemistry. Body image issues hold many people back with a worry they are truly wanted.
For some, it’s a concern their reputation might be sullied if others find out. Some people are on anxiety medication, antidepressants, or other medicines that lower their libido. Others have health issues that cause low desire.
Some women have pain with intercourse. Some men have erectile issues or struggle with premature ejaculation. It could simply be that the slower partner isn’t sure that, the faster partner’s sexual style or approach to sexy intimacy is a match with theirs.
It’s just best to ask and listen and see what kind of modifications, workarounds, or patience is required. Sweetie, no pressure. I just want to know when it’s right for you. How will I learn? How can I honor your needs? Tell me what would be the best possible experience for you. I’m patient, and you’re worth it.
If there are issues, you can acknowledge them, and if there are problems, you can try to find solutions.
AROUSAL BEGINS WITH RELAXATION
Pressure dampens desire. Removing any urgency can often speed the time to intercourse simply because you’re removing the stress. Running a partner a menu of options to be a yes to a “right-sized” offer is a crucial tenet of seduction.
And seduction means moving a partner toward pleasure. When you offer sex and get a no, it’s because sex was too big an offer.
Giving multiple choices allows the “not ready” partner to find options that feel good to them. Do you want me to hold you? Would you like a neck rub? Should we go for a walk and hold hands?
Allowing intimacy to deepen slowly, gaining trust, and building desire are some of the most satisfying parts of a new relationship.
Trying to push for sex too early does the relationship injustice. Slow down. Run pleasure menus.
And build trust.
These loving intentions will build a solid foundation of trust and security, allowing your partner to truly enjoy “the first time” when it finally happens.
I hope you’re loving this advice and thinking of using it in your relationship soon.