Seven facts about masturbation women need to know.
Masturbation. It’s a topic that is wrought with confusion. Men and women alike received mixed messages about touching our genitals somewhere along the line. We may have been caught giving ourselves pleasure. Or caught playing doctor with a friend. Many women have been “scared off” or shamed for masturbating and still feel a wee guilty when they do. And for men, one of the primary causes of premature ejaculation is fast, furtive masturbation… they’ve trained themselves to “come too fast.”
I’d like to clear up some of the confusion about masturbation for you with a few important facts.
- First and foremost, I want you to know that masturbation is completely natural.
It’s tragic that so many cultures give children the stink-eye regarding playing with themselves. Some of us were told it’s “dirty down there.” Others were punished or warned against the dangers by parents who’d been likewise mis-informed. I’m not blaming parents, just inviting you to look anew at this belief because, frankly, it’s flat out wrong. Everybody masturbates naturally if left to their own devices.
Note: We’re genetically programmed to masturbate. For men, masturbation keeps fresh sperm topped off in the tank, ready for when a woman is “in the mood.” And for both sexes, genital stimulation keeps the parts in good working order and prevents tissue atrophy. (see #6)
- I also want you to know that you can release any negative programming about masturbation.
It may take some conscious attention, but the benefits you will reap are well worth the effort. The primary thing is to be patient with your process of reclaiming this vital aspect of your sexuality.
I highly recommend you mark this transition–from indulging in a naughty, taboo behavior to intentionally engaging in a healthy one–with a reframe. To that end, I suggest you think of masturbation as a solo-sex practice of self-pleasuring and self-love.
3) You do not need any special equipment to pleasure yourself.
In fact, the best way to start is by using what’s most readily available: your own hands. Like I always say, your hands are your best friend. Your next best friend is some kind of lubricant. A good lube enhances the sensation, and makes pleasuring yourself feel even better. I recommend any nut oil, such as avocado or sweet almond, rather than commercial lubricants that are both expensive and potentially harmful.
That being said, vibrators and clitoral stimulators are available in a wide variety of sensation formats to increase your pleasure potential.
4) Sex toys do not decrease or destroy your ability to orgasm with a lover or your own hands, they expand your range of sensation.
In fact, pleasure tools improve your orgasmic range and increase engorgement of the genital tissue. A woman’s vulva includes three spongy areas that have as much erectile tissue as a man’s penis. If a woman doesn’t get enough blood flow to her vulva, she won’t have the quantity and quality of orgasms for which she is capable. The longer she has to get fully engorged in her clitoral structure, her urethral area (often called the G-Spot, though it’s not a spot, it’s a long tube of tissue) and her perineal sponge the better her sensation will be. The more plumped up with blood, the larger the surface area, the more sensation she feels.
Women range in the type of stimulation they enjoy. Some prefer fast orgasms directly applied to the glans of the
clitoris with sucking or vibrating sensations. Others avoid the numbing feeling of vibrators and prefer thrusting or pulsating types of experiences. Some women need vibrators with very low settings while others need strong buzzing to even feel anything. And then there are women who like to be simultaneously stimulated both vaginally and clitorally.
Having a range of toys in your pleasure test give you options to meet the needs of your body in every moment.
5) It is not uncommon for some women to find it difficult to orgasm when they masturbate.
Again this will resolve in time. The best remedy is simply to let go of goal-orientation altogether. You’re in this for the fun of it; orgasm will come as you learn to surrender, enjoy, and open to more and more pleasure.
6) It’s totally normal to be so horny you can’t wait to be alone and rub one out one day, and unable to get turned on at all the next.
It’s just part of the territory. Your hormones shift all the time, sometimes predictably and sometimes not. What’s important to know is that what you desire differs every day.
Rather than think of your vulva as temperamental or fickle, think of her as cyclical and welcome her changeability. You can also expand your self-pleasuring practice to include non-sexual activities like taking a hot bath or getting a relaxing massage. Your coochie will come around in her own time.
7) What’s really great about frequent masturbation is that it keeps genital atrophy at bay. That’s right–your genitals can atrophy in much the same way as your muscles.
If you’ve ever been sick for awhile and unable to workout, or had an injury that resulted in less activity and exercise, you know what it’s like to lose muscle tissue. Your muscles actually shrink and lose strength. That’s what’s called atrophy.
Your genitals can atrophy, too. For women, this often means thinning of the vaginal tissue and loss of elasticity. As they say, “use it or lose it.” This is especially true for postmenopausal women.
Masturbation keeps your genitals in shape, healthy and happy.
Here is a free masturbation technique called The Butterfly Warm Up that helps women have better solo pleasuring orgasms. This four-step technique also empowers her partner to get her warmed up in ways he may have never considered himself.
The free ebook, 5 Steamy Sex Techniques includes the Butterfly Warm Up.
In addition to the above, I have a series of informative videos on Masturbation
Here is my video on, “The 30-Day Masturbation Challenge.”
Here is my show on, “Masturbation Side Effects and Benefits.”
Here is a video called, “How to Masturbate.”
Here is a video called, “The Case for a Solo Masturbation Practice.
Here is a video called, “How To Clean Out Your Prostate Gland Through Masturbation.”
