According to my mentor, Dr. Helen Fisher, author, and anthropologist at Rutgers University, our bedroom personalities are composed of two basic types of traits:
- character traits developed through life experience and
- types of temperament, 50% of which stems from our biology.
Traits of temperament are heritable, relatively stable across your life and linked to specific genes, hormones and/or neurotransmitter systems.
She sampled 28,000 people to come up with these four personality types: Explorers, Builders, Directors, and Negotiators.
ARE YOU A BUILDER?
Let’s delve into the second of the four types, the Builder.
“The suite of traits associated with specific activities and genes in the serotonin system include sociability, caution (harm avoidance), less anxiety and more close friends. Elevated activity in the serotonin systems is also linked with observing social norms, following the rules, respecting authority, orderliness, adherence to plans, methods and habits, self-control, precision, interest in details, conscientiousness, figural and numeric creativity, and religiosity. Helen designated this trait constellation as the “cautious/social norm compliant” temperament dimension and dubbed those particularly expressive of this suite of traits Builders.”
Though this article is for everyone across the gender spectrum, I’ve taken one idea – the concept of giving a woman some lingerie — and given you a few ideas for each sexual personality type.
If you’re a man who thinks he’s a Builder, I’d like you to reply to this email and tell me what kind of sexual ideas appeal to you. If you’re a woman, reply to me if you’re a Builder and refine these ideas or give me others that would appeal to you. Tell me if you’d like your guy to do any of these for you (and definitely tell your guy you’d like to have fun like this if you would!) He is probably a different Sexual Personality Type and would love to know what you’d like more.
If your lady is orderly, methodical, cautious, conscientious and respectful of authority, she’s a Builder. Try out these ideas.
- Light candles at the dinner table and surprise her with a string bikini. Tell her to put it on for you, turning HER into dessert.
- Stash some string bikinis in your suitcase for a Caribbean cruise or a night of hot hotel sex.
- Try surprising her by hanging one on the bathroom mirror or headboard of the bed with a little note saying, “I’m so turned on fantasizing about you wearing this for me, sexy.”
- Layout all five of the grab bag bikinis on the bed with her sexiest high heels. Light some candles and put on music that gets her into the mood. Then tell her you to have a surprise for her. Cover her eyes before you lead her into the bedroom. Lead her to the bed and take off your hands from her eyes. Hold her from behind while you whisper in her ear how sexy she is to you.
Remember to reply to me if you have a refinement, a new idea or a tweak. I’m interested!